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Alcohol and my ambition

Old 06-05-2015, 10:00 PM
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Alcohol and my ambition

I don't tend to believe I have a problem. I can easily detect when too much is too much. I am 24 years old and want to enjoy my youth and enjoy drinking a few beers or taking a few shots on my nights off from work. I feel fine and well but a day or two after drinking I feel the most empty exhausting depressing feeling come over me and I can't control it. I just want to curl up in a ball and watch TV all day. My focus is off and my ambition is down. I hate it. I feel so anxious I could barely breathe and my body is tight and aches. I lose focus on what's really important like good diet and excircise. I tend to eat excessively and not care what I put into my body. On the other hand, when I don't drink for a week I feel great. My body feels clean and pure and my mind does too. I have more drive and ambition to accomplish goals and tasks. I have confidence in myself and my anxiety seems to show up less. I eat healthy and I excircise. I want to be able to find the balance without feeling like I threw everything I was making progress in away. Why does this happen to me? Pleas help.
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Old 06-05-2015, 10:04 PM
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Hi langdok - welcome

I understand not wanting to quit drinking,. but if depression is the price you pay, surely it's worth giving drinking up for 3 or 6 months to see if it helps?

If you're not alcohol dependent or addicted it should be no problem

D
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Old 06-05-2015, 10:09 PM
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My name is Kevin :)

Just so happens all the friends I've ever known had always drank, excessively. I started at 14 in high school and it continued through college. I want to be able to enjoy myself without feeling like alcohol is the cause of my symptoms of depression
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Old 06-05-2015, 10:15 PM
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Welcome to SR Langdonk.

Originally Posted by Langdonk1 View Post
I want to be able to enjoy myself without feeling like alcohol is the cause of my symptoms of depression
That might be a little difficult, because alcohol IS a depressant, hence there's a good chance it's the cause of your symptoms of depression.

Alcohol Use, Abuse, and Depression: Is There a Connection?

Alcohol is a depressant. That means any amount you drink can make you more likely to get the blues. Drinking a lot can harm your brain and lead to depression.
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Old 06-05-2015, 10:15 PM
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I want to be able to enjoy myself without feeling like alcohol is the cause of my symptoms of depression
But what if it is?

D
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Old 06-05-2015, 10:25 PM
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Then I guess the smart decision is to stop for a while. I work in a kitchen so all the guys at work drink every single day. I feel like an outcast if I don't drink. It's a tough environment. I visit my dad and grandmother down in Florida in 9 days. So I'm making a small goal to see if I can go 9 days without drinking and see how I feel
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Old 06-05-2015, 11:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Langdonk1 View Post
... I work in a kitchen so all the guys at work drink every single day. I feel like an outcast if I don't drink. It's a tough environment....
Really??

My alcoholic voice was always pretty good at telling me reasons that I 'needed' or 'deserved' or 'was justified' so I would keep feeding it as well. Sounds like yours is in fine form.

As far as not thinking your drinking is problematic (just the effects of it)...If you didn't really believe that your drinking is a problem then you wouldn't have been looking for advise in the first place.
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Old 06-06-2015, 12:14 AM
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You have a drinking problem. You know alcohol aggravates your depression but you drink it anyway. Given your denial of this and young age I'd imagine you've never sort medical treatment for your depression or mood instability.
You like to binge on the weekend and your workplace is pro alcohol so with your problem you're in serious danger of becoming alcoholic if you haven't already.
I hope you can just stop as you plan too - alcoholics like to make promises like that to themselves but they don't last long. If you fail be honest with yourself and accept you drunk knowing the harm it does as you couldn't not. Alcoholics have a habit of deluding themselves into believing they only drunk because they chose to for whatever reason.
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Old 06-06-2015, 12:59 AM
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I cant say I have clean time to offer advice but I do know that I use to feel like I still had lots of time to get my life on track cause I was still young. The problem for me is I created a habitual pattern that is familiar and most natural for myself to continue doing. The time. came when I found myself in jail again, 20 years later. This time I was. one of the older people who still hadnt got it together. Ive had some years of repreive in the past, but once I started using again, I put myself right back to a place of disgrace. I never imagined myself as being someone who had difficulty getting a job, or someone who couldnt come up easily. But I went from younger to older and there are luxuries of youth we dont recognize until we dont have them and dont even know exactly when they were lost. If that makes sense. I cant do my life over but I can say I wish I was wiser and didnt think I was stronger than I am
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Old 06-06-2015, 02:35 AM
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I'm 27 and can really relate to the feeling of depression. I have diagnosed mental health problems and the medication was ineffective the entire time I drank, so it has taken time for me to feel different.

Not drinking day by day, hour by hour and breaking it down might help.

Alcohol bought no relief to me, longer than maybe an hour or two of numbness, then the anxiety and depression came back with a vengeance. It's simply not worth it. You don't need to live like this.
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Old 06-06-2015, 04:28 AM
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For some reason people with alcohol problems can not see the relationship between cause and effect. If every time I ate Brussel Sprouts I felt depressed, lathargic, and foggy it would be a no brainer. I would stop eating Brussel Sprouts.

When it comes to alcohol we will spend endless hours trying to justify why the cause and effect doesn't apply.
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Old 06-06-2015, 04:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Langdonk1 View Post
On the other hand, when I don't drink for a week I feel great. My body feels clean and pure and my mind does too. I have more drive and ambition to accomplish goals and tasks. I have confidence in myself and my anxiety seems to show up less. I eat healthy and I excircise. I want to be able to find the balance without feeling like I threw everything I was making progress in away. Why does this happen to me? Pleas help.


Hi.
Iím no profound genus and my thought is simple: STOP DRINKING, after all itís not a health drink or on the healthy thing to have on a daily basis. If I have a bad reaction to peanuts, shell fish, ice cream ond on and on I stop putting them in my system.

As far as your ďfriendsĒ at work, they need NO explanation what you do or donít do. If you feel that uncomfortable get another job, itís that simple.

BE WELL
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Old 06-06-2015, 08:44 AM
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Here's my story. I started drinking and smoking weed at 14. When I was 16 I started using pills, X, shrooms, acid, and cocaine. I did these things because my "friends" did. I was a follower. Now that I'm older and wiser I feel like I know what the rigjt thing to do is but the demons I hold on to hold me back. My parents know nothing about what I've went through and they think I'm a happy 24 yr old kid. The pressures of having an addictive personality and the stress from working in a high volume restaurant kitchen sweating and getting burned constantly is driving me crazy. I literally feel like a psychopath that's emotionless. The stress of everything I feel might make me snap. I also recently just got out of a 4 year relationship with my first love and that too is making me crazy. I never vented like this to anyone but I feel safe saying it to you guys for some reason. Maybe I need to talk to a psychologist and get some professional help? I don't want to go crazy
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Old 06-06-2015, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Langdonk1 View Post
Here's my story. I started drinking and smoking weed at 14. When I was 16 I started using pills, X, shrooms, acid, and cocaine. I did these things because my "friends" did. I was a follower. Now that I'm older and wiser I feel like I know what the rigjt thing to do is but the demons I hold on to hold me back. My parents know nothing about what I've went through and they think I'm a happy 24 yr old kid. The pressures of having an addictive personality and the stress from working in a high volume restaurant kitchen sweating and getting burned constantly is driving me crazy. I literally feel like a psychopath that's emotionless. The stress of everything I feel might make me snap. I also recently just got out of a 4 year relationship with my first love and that too is making me crazy. I never vented like this to anyone but I feel safe saying it to you guys for some reason. Maybe I need to talk to a psychologist and get some professional help? I don't want to go crazy

That's a lot to process on your own - and yes, the good news is you don't have to!

This is a great forum with suggestions based on others experience. But, this does not preclude seeking professional help. Along with professional guidance you may want to pop into a couple AA or NA meetings. You might hear some things that resonate.

Whatever you decide, keep posting. Just remember that this forum - as with AA is simply peer to peer and non-professional. What sounds good may not be what's best for you

Glad you're here with us - report back about your 9 days of abstinence!
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Old 06-06-2015, 08:59 AM
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I'm not sure if this is medically correct but I call it the "4 day rule". After quitting something the first 4 days are torture; can't sleep, headaches, edginess, lack of focus, etc.. but after those 4 days those symptoms start to fade away and you feel noticeably different. Has anyone else noticed this? I've tried stopping so many times I started to notice this pattern.
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Old 06-06-2015, 09:39 AM
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Your story is touching, and I can sense your desire to be "normal" in terms of drinking. From what you've shared, I don't believe that's going to happen for you. The behaviours from our past are generally good indicators of the natural course of our future. Drugs, alcohol and mood issues are a vicious self-reinforcing cycle. They offer short-term relief while actually increasing anxiety and depression over the long-term. Now is a great time in your life to settle on a new path to avoid years of worsening anxiety, depression and substance use problems.

Tending to think you don't have a problem in the face of evidence that fairly clearly shows otherwise is all part of having a drinking problem. I'm glad that you are here posting on SR. I wish you could also have face to face support with people your age who are successfully dealing with their own substance use problems. This idea you have around drinking as being part of enjoying youth is simply not true. The reason I say that is that I'm often inspired by the number of younger guys I see in AA meetings who are leading these courageous lives of sobriety, and when they talk and I see how they are directing their youthful energy into leading a more noble life it is really inspiring. I'm not saying to run out and join AA, but this kind of influence and support would be valuable for you.
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Old 06-07-2015, 11:19 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Kevin!!
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