Newbie in need of support
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: London
Posts: 5
Well done for posting and recognising the problem. First thing that came to my mind, these guys aren't helping. Who's fault it is doesn't matter, and he ain't that nice if he's encouraging your alcohol problem. Nice words, nice behaviour, doesn't matter, You're right when you say you have to get rid. And be prepared for him to not be so nice when you do. Sorry to be blunt, that's probably going to happen, he might try to gently coax you towards carrying on being self-destructive, then start to get really negative and make you doubt yourself. You're going to have to get in touch with you're inner bitch, to a degree, but it's ok if you do that to stick up for yourself.
You may have to be tougher on yourself and that guy too, and that can be hard. Addiction to booze or destructive people isn't some battering ram, it's a stream that just kind of carries you along, it can be very insidious. You're going to have to be assertive. Not aggressive, but you're going to have to be extremely clear about what you want (sobriety, being a better, more independent person, being a better mother) and anything that is not helping you towards that is holding you back. You've got some big changes ahead and you really are THE only person who can do it but, no offense, things sound like they were rough and crappy at times, and they were probably a lot tougher than you think. It's like when you look back at a serious illness; you wonder how the hell you managed to put up with it but if you could survive that, you can be sober and better.
You may have to be tougher on yourself and that guy too, and that can be hard. Addiction to booze or destructive people isn't some battering ram, it's a stream that just kind of carries you along, it can be very insidious. You're going to have to be assertive. Not aggressive, but you're going to have to be extremely clear about what you want (sobriety, being a better, more independent person, being a better mother) and anything that is not helping you towards that is holding you back. You've got some big changes ahead and you really are THE only person who can do it but, no offense, things sound like they were rough and crappy at times, and they were probably a lot tougher than you think. It's like when you look back at a serious illness; you wonder how the hell you managed to put up with it but if you could survive that, you can be sober and better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 82
Thank you everyone! It's been a bit up and down since i posted. A couple of beers at night. I started a journal last night to kinda write down my thoughts during my quitting. It's my day #1 today and I'm keeping myself busy with housework and other stuff. Feeling positive today and wont worry about tomorrow for now 
I'll spend some time reading here today too.
Thanks! I'll check it out right now
I'll spend some time reading here today too.
Originally Posted by Dee74 
We can support you with the do it part
Check out our Class of June support thread, if you haven't already
D
Check out our Class of June support thread, if you haven't already
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
"My current boyfriend I don't think realizes he has a problem, so how would I help him anyway? I don't even want to because I promised myself to never ever try to help someone with that again."
you could tell him about SR, then everyone here would help him
you could tell him about SR, then everyone here would help him
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by OCDDan
"My current boyfriend I don't think realizes he has a problem, so how would I help him anyway? I don't even want to because I promised myself to never ever try to help someone with that again."
you could tell him about SR, then everyone here would help him
you could tell him about SR, then everyone here would help him
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