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Unspeakable cruelty

Old 06-03-2015, 04:22 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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AF I would send the package back with no comment including the letter, then I would block him on my phone contacts' list.

Then I'd phone someone I liked and take them out for a picnic in the sun.
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:32 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Drinking and under the influence
and having poison running thru
every part of my body gave me
a distorted view of myself. My
selfworth.

It wasn't until I got all those toxins
out of my mind, body and soul and
received some good information about
my addiction and learned a program
of recovery was then that I began to
see clearly and view myself as a person
with worth.

I am worth it. I am a good person inside
and out because I am sober with no poisons
or controlled substance inside me to think
otherwise. That to me is totally freeing.

The fogged glasses came off and everything
I see in the mirror looking back at me is all
good. I want to treat others with care and
consideration even if its not returned like
I would want it to be.

All that matters is that I learn how
to remain sober using a program
of recovery of steps and principle
as a guideline for all areas of my
life each day I remain sober or
clean.

Then in TIME as Tomsteve suggested
trust from others may or may not
come back. What matters is that
we are living a sober life and the
rest will be handled accordingly.
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:39 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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What made me mad the most was telling you That you have nothing to live for. No sir, you have yourself, Artfriend. How sad that a person would "checkout" if he didn't have them. What does that tell you...

That's another myth from society, live for others. Forget it! I live for myself and by being happy and content that permeates the rest of my life.

Don't let this bring you down and don't hurt yourself over it by drinking. It's not worth it.

Let us know how you are doing.
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:46 AM
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Good morning all! The sun is shining and it's going to be 85 degrees today. Good start so far. I had a good cry last night which was a bit cathartic. Am going to see the therapist today and see about getting more focused help with my drinking.

My brothers - both of them are troubled men as some of you have stated. I've known for many years my older brother was sick and therefore kept a very distant relationship with him. He is blatantly pathological. The younger one is more insidious. He can be very charming, but then use that to manipulate. This latest stunt is over the top. And has cemented my resolve to sever ties with him as well.

Thanks for all of the well wishes. You are wonderful people!
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:48 AM
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We don't get to pick our family members. Unfortunately, you got stuck with some losers.

Nothing to do but pick up the pieces and move on. Getting mired in their **** is a waste of your time and talents.

You got this.
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Old 06-03-2015, 05:08 AM
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Good morning ArtFriend. I hope you are in Better spirits today. I'm sorry your brother decided to send you the package. It was mean and certainly not called for. He is a small man. Checking out if it weren't for his kids shows he's a miserable and unhappy person underneath.

Today is a new day. Hugs.

We get up in the morning and start our day. It is our choice how to handle what life throws at us. His comments and gesture are despicable. You can be grateful you are not him.
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Old 06-03-2015, 05:13 AM
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Severing ties with your brother is the best thing for YOU!! You need to do what's best for you. Like most people on this forum getting and remaining sober is the best thing you can do for yourself. Your brother threatens your sobriety. I truly hope today is a better day for you.
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Old 06-03-2015, 05:23 AM
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I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry you drank, ArtFriend. I hope you're feeling better today.

I like the no contact idea and I like Marcher13's idea of returning the box without comment. I was thinking that before you went no contact, I think it would be funny to send a thank you note for the pictures. I'd thank him for sending the pictures, they were beautiful, I love Susan's dress and it looks like a good time was had by all. It would blow his mind. lol Then from then on...nothing, no contact at all and ignore any attempts made by him. But really, the most important thing is taking care of you. That happened, it's in the past now. Let's get back to being sober. They say living well is the best revenge. Good luck!
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Old 06-03-2015, 05:32 AM
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One of the hard things about this was that I was the so called "normal" one of the family and it was my "job" to take care of the others (even tho I am the youngest of the 4). This was put on me by my mom many years ago. And in her last days on earth, she reminded me to take care of my brother (not the older one). I know intellectually this is impossible, but there is an underlying sense that I am being disloyal to my mom by severing ties. He had a heart attack right after my mom died and I was afraid he was going to die as well. That first year (2013) he really fell apart. He went on disability and could not afford his apt. anymore. He wanted to move in with me here in Dallas while recovering and planning what to do and I told him no. He has his GF or one of his sons he can move in with. It made no sense to move here. That started the ball rolling... he called me everything except for dinner. I kept trying to support him but the mean spiritness was so hard to handle. Finally...I quit communicating with him directly. I went through his GF for awhile. But then she started to meddle in it and I have to cut her off too.

Anyway... I again and typing out loud.
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Old 06-03-2015, 05:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Cursed00 View Post
Truly happy people would never have such thoughts in their head.. In my humble opinion he is not happy and wants just to make himself feel better at your expense .... Don't let him do that don't let him win in this sick game
This is along the lines I would say too. Vindictive and cruel behaviour comes from deep hurt and sadness usually. Hard to see it that way when it's directed at you, but it does help if you can.
My last birthday card from my brother said "F*** your birthday", when I expressed upset by text, he said I should take things so personally! families can be the hardest thing I know.
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Old 06-03-2015, 05:54 AM
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I feel that hard as it is, keeping boundaries is very important.
I empathise wholly with the conflict of feeling you have to keep the family together, and the irony of then being outcast by emotionally abusive family members. You don't have to justify or excuse their actions. They will always behave in ways that dumbfound and hurt.
But your integrity and independence will win out
Dont be fearful art friend, Sr has your back!
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Old 06-03-2015, 05:59 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Good morning Art!

It's a new day in every way and it's yours for the taking. So much I could say about honoring late parents wishes and looking out for older siblings.....but you know what the reality is in your situation.
Another sunny day for us to enjoy and I'm going to enjoying it sober and I hope you will too!
Xoxo
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Old 06-03-2015, 06:01 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Brynn - Snuffer's! I am so jealous! Hope you enjoyed it GF.

Thanks for your continued support Brynn
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Old 06-03-2015, 06:33 AM
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Over my past 24yrs sobriety Ive had
a love hate relationship with my entire
family circle. I wanted to have some
sort of healthy relationship with them
to only cop resentments over them,
drink because of them before I entered
recovery to finally accept them just the
way they are because I couldnt change
them.

Then I made a healthy decision
for my own peace of mind and recovery
to separate, divorce, distant myself
from all of them.

For my own spiritual progress, I place
them into the Hands of my HP-
Higher Power of my understanding for
His Care.

That way I can continue to live a healthy
happy honest life in recovery without worry.
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Old 06-03-2015, 07:48 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Art....I ate fried pickles in honor of you my friend!

Remember when you posted that picture of one of your roses a while back? It had bloomed despite the huge storm the previous night.....hope you remember that today.
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Old 06-03-2015, 08:05 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Thanks for reminding me of that Brynn. And now I will have to go get fried pickles. The y are calling my name
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Old 06-03-2015, 08:40 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
Thanks for reminding me of that Brynn. And now I will have to go get fried pickles. The y are calling my name
Highly recommended!!
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Old 06-03-2015, 08:42 AM
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AF and Brynn - it is so good to 'hear' you smiling today!!!!!
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Old 06-03-2015, 02:13 PM
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I agree - came here to look in on you AF - happy to know you're rising above that mess.
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Old 06-03-2015, 03:53 PM
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Glad you're okay, ArtFriend. I can't imagine how that must have hurt. Your brother is obviously very sick and incredibly miserable. Be glad that you're nothing like him.

Sending much love and healing thoughts your way.
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