Unspeakable cruelty
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,880
I think we may have a link in our families.....
just kidding, but he's on the same level as my bro
sorry about this happening, please take care of you.....drinking won't change him and will only hurt you.
How about a new day one? Time to love you more fully now.....
Love and Hugs to you!
just kidding, but he's on the same level as my bro
sorry about this happening, please take care of you.....drinking won't change him and will only hurt you.
How about a new day one? Time to love you more fully now.....
Love and Hugs to you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,712
I'm really hawking this link today - but it's a good one
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option for me.
There should be nothing so devastating that makes us drink.
A good plan is more than half the battle.
It will take a little time and effort but I think you're worth both those things AF
D
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option for me.
There should be nothing so devastating that makes us drink.
A good plan is more than half the battle.
It will take a little time and effort but I think you're worth both those things AF
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 82
Truly happy people would never have such thoughts in their head.. In my humble opinion he is not happy and wants just to make himself feel better at your expense .... Don't let him do that don't let him win in this sick game
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I'm sorry *** happened again from your brother. He sounds like a disturbed person who has no sane judgment and has very low morality. Yes he is an addict, but that is no excuse for anything and family or not, he sounds really toxic and abusive.
You know what I would do? Send those pictures and his letter back to him with a clear note asking him to never contact you again, and nothing more, nothing angry or frustrated, just that. Might also help you keep your resolve later vs not responding or not doing anything and getting tempted to reconnect when you are feeling lonely again.
That file Dee linked is really good, do check it out!
You know what I would do? Send those pictures and his letter back to him with a clear note asking him to never contact you again, and nothing more, nothing angry or frustrated, just that. Might also help you keep your resolve later vs not responding or not doing anything and getting tempted to reconnect when you are feeling lonely again.
That file Dee linked is really good, do check it out!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 13,802
(((AF))), we are your family! Now do what you need to do to get and stay sober. Dee kept asking me what else did I need to add to my toolbox and I eventually found that I needed an intensive outpatient addiction program. That was 10 months ago. With the exception of one very wobbly recent week of relapse, I've been sober since then. We're all different in terms of what things we need to do to stay sober.
A friend reminds me now and then that if we have a family member who puts us down, looking to them for support is like going to the hardware store to buy bread -- it just ain't gonna happen.
A friend reminds me now and then that if we have a family member who puts us down, looking to them for support is like going to the hardware store to buy bread -- it just ain't gonna happen.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Oh Wow...I have no words or understanding of him,...is it some sort of trying to compensate for his own lack of self worth by trying to make you feel bad!!..
He sounds miserable!
Ditto on the no contact, he is not a well person. Take time to block any future phone calls, facebook and email contact. Any future parcels take to the post office with a not at this address and return to sender on it.
Please don't let that reflect on you...we don't get to pick family....
Drinking will not help....hold your head high, dust yourself off and live a good life.
He sounds miserable!
Ditto on the no contact, he is not a well person. Take time to block any future phone calls, facebook and email contact. Any future parcels take to the post office with a not at this address and return to sender on it.
Please don't let that reflect on you...we don't get to pick family....
Drinking will not help....hold your head high, dust yourself off and live a good life.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
(((ArtFriend)))
Sorry to hear about the cruelty within your family. Its beyond words what was said to you. And about the drinking. Its all very hurtful. You know what? There really is an end to the hurt when we can stay quit and off the booze. I know its not easy to quit when we are hurting. Still though, quitting is the best way forward to really heal and have a life that is well protected from even the worst circumstances. Sobriety really is the gateway to an awesome life. Please give yourself every chance to take advantage of opportunities to stay quit. I do believe in you. You can quit.
Sorry to hear about the cruelty within your family. Its beyond words what was said to you. And about the drinking. Its all very hurtful. You know what? There really is an end to the hurt when we can stay quit and off the booze. I know its not easy to quit when we are hurting. Still though, quitting is the best way forward to really heal and have a life that is well protected from even the worst circumstances. Sobriety really is the gateway to an awesome life. Please give yourself every chance to take advantage of opportunities to stay quit. I do believe in you. You can quit.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
(((Art))) I am so sorry. My heart aches for you and even more so because you have such a sweet spirit. I think getting some more help is a good idea and I'm so glad you have a therapist to talk to. Be gentle with yourself tonight, okay? And check in tomorrow and let us know how you're doing.
By the way.....we ate at Snuffers tonight and I thought of you. Wish you would have been there with us instead of home dealing with this crud.
Xoxoxo
By the way.....we ate at Snuffers tonight and I thought of you. Wish you would have been there with us instead of home dealing with this crud.
Xoxoxo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
No, IMO it was t right to write that to you.
I can't recall how many times I had something like that dine to me when I was drinking. My solution," I'll show you. You hurt me so I'll hurt myself by getting drunk."
And all it did was continue to keep me in the vicious cycle of self abuse. I was allowing others peoples opinion of me control my opinion of me and also control my actions.
Then I got sober. That's when I realized what I said earlier- I was trying to hurt them by getting drunk and only hurting myself. And I was allowjng others' opinions of me control me. And I didn't want to allow that any more. So I tookcontrol of MY actions. Stopped letting others control me. Took a look at myself and saw why others opionions of me bothered me so much.
Today if I let others' opinions of me control I'd be a screwed up mess as there's quite a few negative opinions of me out there.
And today it's not my problem or my business what others think of me. it is what God thinks of me that matters.
And I refuse to allow anyone to use me as a doormat.
that didn't materialize overnight or by sitting on my but expecting others to do the work. I did the work and it took T.I.M.E.
Choices- ya got em today,art. Let others control ya or take control.
I can't recall how many times I had something like that dine to me when I was drinking. My solution," I'll show you. You hurt me so I'll hurt myself by getting drunk."
And all it did was continue to keep me in the vicious cycle of self abuse. I was allowing others peoples opinion of me control my opinion of me and also control my actions.
Then I got sober. That's when I realized what I said earlier- I was trying to hurt them by getting drunk and only hurting myself. And I was allowjng others' opinions of me control me. And I didn't want to allow that any more. So I tookcontrol of MY actions. Stopped letting others control me. Took a look at myself and saw why others opionions of me bothered me so much.
Today if I let others' opinions of me control I'd be a screwed up mess as there's quite a few negative opinions of me out there.
And today it's not my problem or my business what others think of me. it is what God thinks of me that matters.
And I refuse to allow anyone to use me as a doormat.
that didn't materialize overnight or by sitting on my but expecting others to do the work. I did the work and it took T.I.M.E.
Choices- ya got em today,art. Let others control ya or take control.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Sending you sober wishes with the morning from the UK AF .
It's a new day, we get to the chance to try again , put clean socks on and step out into a new world and make a new life if we want .
Make real connections with beautiful people who are loving and lovely .
Sobriety is the key , be brave
m
It's a new day, we get to the chance to try again , put clean socks on and step out into a new world and make a new life if we want .
Make real connections with beautiful people who are loving and lovely .
Sobriety is the key , be brave
m
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