Unspeakable cruelty

Old 06-02-2015, 05:24 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Marchia in Aeternum
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I know mean people.
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:31 PM
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I am going to sign off for the night. Thanks again. Tomorrow is another day!
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:35 PM
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From the sounds of both of your brothers, it sounds like it would do you good to cut them both out of your life permanently since the relationships are toxic. No one deserves to be treated this way EVER.
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:37 PM
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I think we may have a link in our families.....

just kidding, but he's on the same level as my bro

sorry about this happening, please take care of you.....drinking won't change him and will only hurt you.

How about a new day one? Time to love you more fully now.....

Love and Hugs to you!
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:40 PM
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I'm really hawking this link today - but it's a good one

I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option for me.

There should be nothing so devastating that makes us drink.
A good plan is more than half the battle.

It will take a little time and effort but I think you're worth both those things AF

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Old 06-02-2015, 05:43 PM
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AF, I'm sorry that you are hurting.

I hope you find your way to peace and recovery.
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:48 PM
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Hi ArtFriend,
The response to that envelope is simply, "That's sad." And just move on. Be present and there for your brother if he contacts you.
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:52 PM
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Truly happy people would never have such thoughts in their head.. In my humble opinion he is not happy and wants just to make himself feel better at your expense .... Don't let him do that don't let him win in this sick game
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:53 PM
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I'm sorry *** happened again from your brother. He sounds like a disturbed person who has no sane judgment and has very low morality. Yes he is an addict, but that is no excuse for anything and family or not, he sounds really toxic and abusive.

You know what I would do? Send those pictures and his letter back to him with a clear note asking him to never contact you again, and nothing more, nothing angry or frustrated, just that. Might also help you keep your resolve later vs not responding or not doing anything and getting tempted to reconnect when you are feeling lonely again.

That file Dee linked is really good, do check it out!
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Old 06-02-2015, 06:06 PM
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(((AF))), we are your family! Now do what you need to do to get and stay sober. Dee kept asking me what else did I need to add to my toolbox and I eventually found that I needed an intensive outpatient addiction program. That was 10 months ago. With the exception of one very wobbly recent week of relapse, I've been sober since then. We're all different in terms of what things we need to do to stay sober.

A friend reminds me now and then that if we have a family member who puts us down, looking to them for support is like going to the hardware store to buy bread -- it just ain't gonna happen.
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Old 06-02-2015, 06:47 PM
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AF - I'm so terribly sorry you had to endure that. Please come back tomorrow and talk to us. We care about you & want to help you get past this and continue to heal.
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Old 06-02-2015, 06:49 PM
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bona fido dog-lover
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Drinking at them will only hurt you.
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Old 06-02-2015, 07:16 PM
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Oh Wow...I have no words or understanding of him, it some sort of trying to compensate for his own lack of self worth by trying to make you feel bad!!..
He sounds miserable!

Ditto on the no contact, he is not a well person. Take time to block any future phone calls, facebook and email contact. Any future parcels take to the post office with a not at this address and return to sender on it.

Please don't let that reflect on you...we don't get to pick family....
Drinking will not help....hold your head high, dust yourself off and live a good life.
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Old 06-02-2015, 07:36 PM
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Sorry to hear about the cruelty within your family. Its beyond words what was said to you. And about the drinking. Its all very hurtful. You know what? There really is an end to the hurt when we can stay quit and off the booze. I know its not easy to quit when we are hurting. Still though, quitting is the best way forward to really heal and have a life that is well protected from even the worst circumstances. Sobriety really is the gateway to an awesome life. Please give yourself every chance to take advantage of opportunities to stay quit. I do believe in you. You can quit.
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Old 06-02-2015, 08:07 PM
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...holds the key
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(((Art))) I am so sorry. My heart aches for you and even more so because you have such a sweet spirit. I think getting some more help is a good idea and I'm so glad you have a therapist to talk to. Be gentle with yourself tonight, okay? And check in tomorrow and let us know how you're doing.

By the way.....we ate at Snuffers tonight and I thought of you. Wish you would have been there with us instead of home dealing with this crud.
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Old 06-02-2015, 08:09 PM
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Sorry to hear it ArtFriend. That's just downright cruel.
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Old 06-03-2015, 03:39 AM
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Hang in there, ArtFriend! Don't let toxic people bring you down.
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:09 AM
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No, IMO it was t right to write that to you.
I can't recall how many times I had something like that dine to me when I was drinking. My solution," I'll show you. You hurt me so I'll hurt myself by getting drunk."
And all it did was continue to keep me in the vicious cycle of self abuse. I was allowing others peoples opinion of me control my opinion of me and also control my actions.
Then I got sober. That's when I realized what I said earlier- I was trying to hurt them by getting drunk and only hurting myself. And I was allowjng others' opinions of me control me. And I didn't want to allow that any more. So I tookcontrol of MY actions. Stopped letting others control me. Took a look at myself and saw why others opionions of me bothered me so much.

Today if I let others' opinions of me control I'd be a screwed up mess as there's quite a few negative opinions of me out there.
And today it's not my problem or my business what others think of me. it is what God thinks of me that matters.
And I refuse to allow anyone to use me as a doormat.
that didn't materialize overnight or by sitting on my but expecting others to do the work. I did the work and it took T.I.M.E.

Choices- ya got em today,art. Let others control ya or take control.
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:14 AM
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:O oh my goodness!!! Sorry but you are better off without people like that in your life! How so very cruel!
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:20 AM
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Sending you sober wishes with the morning from the UK AF .

It's a new day, we get to the chance to try again , put clean socks on and step out into a new world and make a new life if we want .

Make real connections with beautiful people who are loving and lovely .

Sobriety is the key , be brave

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