Need Advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: San Jose Ca
Posts: 3
Need Advice
Hello,
I am new to all of this. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic. We have beent together for the last year and a half and I have finally ended the relationship. I am just looking for clarity so to speak that I am making the right decisions. He feels he is not an alcoholic because he only drinks beer or as he calls himself a joe six pack. He is what I call a functioning alcoholic. He goes to work, is repsonsible, always on time. Recently though it seems now if he has just one beer he becomes an idiot. He cant remember stuff and he constantly repeats himself. I dont even like being seen in public with him because he is embarrasing. He has no filters. Gets confrontational with people and even at my family gatherings. It seems that each time he promises to quit and he goes to AA he just falls back into the same routine. He blames me because I refuse to be around him if he drinks. He thinks if I spent more time with him then he would not drink as much. Also, he says if it were me trying to get help he would support me. I have been supportive and I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired of the same results. I have now told him that he needs to work on him before he can work on us. The problem is I am wondering if I am being mean by not standing by him? He has two girls 9&11 and they know he is an alcoholic. Im sorry to babble I just dont really know where to start with all this. My father was an alcoholic and I know I have co dependent issues too. Any advise would be welcome
Thanks
I am new to all of this. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic. We have beent together for the last year and a half and I have finally ended the relationship. I am just looking for clarity so to speak that I am making the right decisions. He feels he is not an alcoholic because he only drinks beer or as he calls himself a joe six pack. He is what I call a functioning alcoholic. He goes to work, is repsonsible, always on time. Recently though it seems now if he has just one beer he becomes an idiot. He cant remember stuff and he constantly repeats himself. I dont even like being seen in public with him because he is embarrasing. He has no filters. Gets confrontational with people and even at my family gatherings. It seems that each time he promises to quit and he goes to AA he just falls back into the same routine. He blames me because I refuse to be around him if he drinks. He thinks if I spent more time with him then he would not drink as much. Also, he says if it were me trying to get help he would support me. I have been supportive and I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired of the same results. I have now told him that he needs to work on him before he can work on us. The problem is I am wondering if I am being mean by not standing by him? He has two girls 9&11 and they know he is an alcoholic. Im sorry to babble I just dont really know where to start with all this. My father was an alcoholic and I know I have co dependent issues too. Any advise would be welcome
Thanks
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,761
Welcome to the family! 
I don't think you did anything wrong. You just reached the point where you couldn't take any more. I hope you can get your life sorted out and find some peace of mind now.
I don't think you did anything wrong. You just reached the point where you couldn't take any more. I hope you can get your life sorted out and find some peace of mind now. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: San Jose Ca
Posts: 3
Im trying to but he keeps texting me and calling me and telling me how much he loves me and is sorry. I just cant be mean and ignore him but I am not sure if its best to keep communicating.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Kansas
Posts: 399
Welcome cgirl. I think you've done the right thing but sticking to your guns may prove to be challenging. Please check out the friends and family section of the site, I will post a link below. You will find many people there dealing with this exact same problem.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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