mickey3701

Hi everyone I'm new to this website, & I thought I'd give it a try considering I'm being forced to go to AA meetings. For starters, I'm 17 years old and all of the meetings I go to are all older people and I think people look at me strange because I am so young. But addiction shouldn't be categorized or judged by age.. I started drinking probably around 12. I had my first drink at 12, probably a beer & I loved the way it brought me such relaxation. My father committed suicide around when I was 12, and that's when my depression & anger kicked in. And progressively got worse over the years. I was mostly angry more than depressed because I felt like there was something I could've done to stop what he did, and why I deserved something like that to happen to me. I had many problems over the years but my heavy drinking and experimenting with drugs didn't start until around 14 or 15. 14 or 15, I drank at parties & blacked out, but that was maybe once a month or so or on weekends, and everyone did it so I thought it was normal! That continued until September 2014, my aunt had passed from alcoholism, just as what my dads problem was that led him to commit suicide like he did, and my aunts death really ****** me up & tore me apart even more than I could handle over my dad, I still wasn't over that and I didn't think I ever would be. I was with a guy a year before her death and everything was great, I was sober, occasionally smoking pot once in a while. He also broke up with me in September and wasn't there for me at all and showed no remorse about her death and that ****** me up even more. Why didn't anyone care? What was so wrong with me? So in September I started drinking heavily, blacking out, buying a bottle every couple days with friends. And I thought hey this is normal for someone who is heartbroken, or just lost a relative, everyone goes through this. October I started drinking even more and got arrested for it. Over the months my drinking got worse & worse, I literally can't stand to be without alcohol. I don't care who I hurt, what I say, I have no remorse either just like I was shown. I would do anything to get my hands on a bottle, I steal liqour all the time & only got caught once and my charges were dropped. Honestly I don't want to stop drinking, and what people say in the AA meetings I go to, I don't really take in to heart. I drink almost everyday and I experienced withdrawal, or saw I thought for the first time a couple days ago. I had terrifying hallucinations, my hands could t stop shaking the next morning, til I got that drink. Honestly I don't want to end up like my dad or aunt but I don't want to stop my drinking. Someone please give me your opinion

ZaBoozer

Welcome Mickey, there is a lot of great information here and a lot of great people.

You say you don't want to stop drinking? Can you tell us what good things drinking has given you?

IOAA2

Hi.

Unfortunately history has a way of repeating itself. You seem to have a self directed direction of self destruction with your actions and indications show it’s getting worse.

I’m sorry for the losses you’ve encountered but unless something is soon done I see very painful misery headed your way as many here have experienced young or old.

I strongly suggest looking for young peoples AA meetings in your area.

An very important part of getting sober is to want to be, when that begins life will start to get better if you want it to.

BE WELL

INgal

Hi Mickey. I'm so glad you're on this site. You will get great advice and wisdom from these people.
My son had to attend court-ordered AA. His counselor told him to go to NA instead because the premise is the same and the crowd is much younger. See if that is available to you. Hang in there. So sorry to hear about your losses. I am sure none of the people in your life who have passed would want you to be feeling this pain. Honor their memories by sobering up and enjoying your life.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Mickey!!

least

Welcome to the family. I got sober over five years ago and honestly, don't miss it at all. My life is better than ever since I stopped drinking. Why not give sobriety a go?

Boxer

Glad you are recognizing the issue so young Mickey. Looking back on it I think I was an alcoholic the first time I ever drank, I just didn't know it. Catching it now will pay dividends in the long run. Good luck and see you around SR!

Dee74

Really glad you found us mickey - welcome

I think a part of you must want to stop drinking cos you sought us out?
I'm sorry for your losses but drinking to try and cope with emotional pain is the biggest con job ever - drinking only pushes the pain to one side for a very little while, then it's back and you need more booze.

It's a terrible cycle.

you'll find a lot of good advice and experience here

D

sleepie

Hi Mickey, so glad you joined the site I really hope you will try in earnest to quit drinking, it is to your advantage that you are so young. It sounds as if you have had some very difficult circumstances without anyone to help you through, I am so sorry to hear that. I have a younger brother who began drinking at 11, if he had attempted sobriety at your age I would have been grateful. He deserves a better life than he has today and I know that you do too.

sugarbear1

There is an intergroup number near you, call them and ask about Young People in AA meetings, then get there. Search "aa city state" and look for the site that ends with .org

gettingsmarter

Hey mickey, Welcome.