Is a "How are you doing?" to much to ask?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hope you're feeling better today.
I can relate - my own relationship with my brother was never what might be called *cough* close. Last year, at 42 years of age, I realised it was over 20 years since either of us had contacted of visited unless there was some kind of family occasion that meant we 'had' do. Anyway, I sent him a (private) message on facebook, asking how he was, how his family is, and just kept things very brief about myself. He sent a very short and sweet reply, which didn't seem particularly 'brotherly' a coupld of days later. But on New Years day morning he phoned out of the blue and asked if he could come over and take me for lunch, which he did, along with his family. Turns out that when he sent the message he was really stressed / rushing around but didn't want to not answer at all. He was really pleases to hear from me / be back in touch. When I visited his home the other week, the number of times where I commented on something and he replied that he's bought something / done something because that's what he knew I'd done (either from FB statuses or my mum telling him) was really, really surprising to me. I suppose I'd been falling into that Social Media trap of comparing my insides with other people's outsides. What we project on FB for the world to see, isn't always the whole story. Some people are very private. Might it be worth trying sending that info via a personal message next time? Just as an experiment?
I can relate - my own relationship with my brother was never what might be called *cough* close. Last year, at 42 years of age, I realised it was over 20 years since either of us had contacted of visited unless there was some kind of family occasion that meant we 'had' do. Anyway, I sent him a (private) message on facebook, asking how he was, how his family is, and just kept things very brief about myself. He sent a very short and sweet reply, which didn't seem particularly 'brotherly' a coupld of days later. But on New Years day morning he phoned out of the blue and asked if he could come over and take me for lunch, which he did, along with his family. Turns out that when he sent the message he was really stressed / rushing around but didn't want to not answer at all. He was really pleases to hear from me / be back in touch. When I visited his home the other week, the number of times where I commented on something and he replied that he's bought something / done something because that's what he knew I'd done (either from FB statuses or my mum telling him) was really, really surprising to me. I suppose I'd been falling into that Social Media trap of comparing my insides with other people's outsides. What we project on FB for the world to see, isn't always the whole story. Some people are very private. Might it be worth trying sending that info via a personal message next time? Just as an experiment?
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
awwww.... What a nice thing to wake up to!
Thank you very much for the kind words and support.
Sunday melancholy, the end of my very emotional vacation all played on me yesterday.
Ready to restart today and reading this thread made me smile and feel so much better.
Thank you very much for the kind words and support.
Sunday melancholy, the end of my very emotional vacation all played on me yesterday.
Ready to restart today and reading this thread made me smile and feel so much better.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Dee... I am doing ok. I struggle with loneliness but that is solvable ... just I know not now. I have more healing to do before I go there.
Doesn't mean I don't feel awful or fearful it will never happen. Oh and invisible.
But to think of where I had been... I will take this any day!
Doesn't mean I don't feel awful or fearful it will never happen. Oh and invisible.
But to think of where I had been... I will take this any day!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I think it takes a bit of getting used to, a life of ups and downs - we tried to smooth things out for many many years.
It's very fulfilling to negotiate stuff sober tho, don't you reckon?
D
It's very fulfilling to negotiate stuff sober tho, don't you reckon?
D
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