I'm back for a second try
 

Hi there, I've tried to give up drinking before and failed. This morning I am so hungover and over it. I feel embarrassed and ashamed. I really want to stop drinking. I guess I'll just start today.

SansaS today is a perfect day to start, good for you.

Good job on day 1. We are all rooting for you!

SansaS, I felt the same way that you do today (embarrassed, ashamed) five days ago after relapsing. I feel so much better today though. I feel a little better each day, because I haven't drank since. Best wishes to you!!!

Welcome back :)

D

Thank you so much for welcoming me. I feel so foolish. I just want to be sober. I don't want to be this person anymore.

A couple of newbie questions- are there any great books out there for me to read to help with my recovery?
When will I stop associating everything with a glass of wine? Like, when I think 'I'd like a bath.....with a nice glass of wine' or 'I'd like to get out in the garden with some wine'? Why can't I just do activities without the need for wine to go with it?

I read a book called Kick the Drink by Jason Vale. I would recommend it.
In time you will be able to stop romanizing the idea of a glass of wine associated with having fun.
The truth is its more fun without it. It opens the doors to your best self and creating the life that you deserve.
I substitute wine with flavored seltzer now. And I still use my fancy glasses, I just don't wake up with regrets and a hangover.

Welcome back Sansa. It takes time to learn how to live sober, and the first day is many times the hardest I one. Reading here on SR with those who understand was how I got started. The Jason Vale book is a good one as well , and don't forget about the Big Book. Even if you aren't in AA I'd has lot of good information into alcoholism and it is free to boot. Make sure you are drinking water and getting food and rest as well these early days...it can really help.

Really glad to see you back Sansa. We have to be ready - sounds like you are. It's hard to admit it can never be fun or relaxing, and that it always leads to a nightmare. That's what needs to happen though. We know you can do this. :)

You can do it!!!

Welcome back! :) You'll find lots of support here. :hug:

good to see you go for it Sansa.
i really found AnnFletcher's "sober for good" useful and the LifeRing workbook "recovery by choice" by Martin Nicolaus, available through their website LifeRing - LifeRing.

ships in just a few days and is an excellent help with stuff like your question about associating drinking with so much other stuff. well worth the money.

Really glad you are here Sansa......I did & said many things I regretted & felt ashamed of when drinking.......not the person I wanted to be either. I'm proud of myself today & really beginning to like the person I see in the mirror.....my life is so, so much better without alcohol in it. Be kind to yourself in these early days & always!

Good for you for making the choice to get sober. The biggest reason I have for getting sober is because the alcohol depletes my serotonin and other neurotransmitters in my brain, leaving me feeling miserable, depressed and anxious the next day.

That's exactly how I feel today soberintexas. I went to a party last night and my husband says that I embarrassed him. :( it's awful. I wish I could stop the drinking.

Hi - welcome back.

I'd recommend Monkey on My Shoulder, and Living Sober. Both available from Amazon very cheaply.

Have you developed a sobriety plan? Those triggers are going to be strong for some time yet (until you unlearn them), so it pays to be very aware of them and adjust your routine to save yourself from them as much as possible.

Good luck.

Hi beccybean. No I don't have a plan. What do I need to do? How do I make a plan? I'm desperate at this point.

Hi Sansa. Well, working on the premise that nothing changes if nothing changes, and a good definition of insanity might be 'doing the same thing and expecting different results', it's just deciding what you can change about your day to day existence to make quitting the booze easier. There have been lots of threads about people's sobriety plans, so a search of this forum would be a good start.

sobriety plan - Search SoberRecovery.com

That way you can read through some of the threads and get some ideas. Everyone's journey is different though, and only you know the who / when / where / why of your drinking, and what can change to support yourself. This is no easy journey, so it's kind of like pre-arming yourself for the battle ahead.

For me, the journey at it's best has involved AA. But meetings are the tip of the iceberg really. It has involved addressing lots of fears and unhealthy ways of dealing with my life. Staying calm and deciding that I can't afford resentments, for example, makes me much less likely to want a drink. Making gratitudes part of my day helps me keep a perspective on things.

For other people, their lists are more practical. Avoiding certain people and places. So, maybe if bath time is a trigger, take a shower instead, or change the time of the bath so it feels different for reasons other than the lack of alcohol.

Hope this is a bit helpful. I'll check back on this thread later, but have to go out now. Hope those threads have some ideas in there that are of some use. :)

Thanks beccy. I will definitely have a read over those threads.