I'm back for a second try
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 534
Just read that whole thread, thanks dee. Like the idea of playing the tape through to the end, and the idea of having some dark chocolate here to have when I first walk in the door from work and need to unwind.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 444
SansaS
The rituals were what I feared losing the most. Last of my employees gone for the day equaled some vodka, arriving home meant a bottle of wine on my porch with my wife (who doesn't drink).... Gardening meant "a beer" but the beer hid the secret vodka that I guzzled over the course of the day....picking up takeout meant alone time at the restaurant drinking and reading a book and on and on.
The drinking defined my framework for each day (as did tobacco) and I slowly grew more and more despondent as I watched life pass by, my kids grow closer to being young adults, the luster fade in my still loving but damaged by drink marriage. From that point, with many false starts, my plan was logistical..., don't die in withdrawal, tell everyone I knew that I don't drink anymore (many were surprised because they were unaware that I had the issues) and replace each ritual with a healthier one. I won't bore you with how I did each step but I am really overwhelmed that I'm 3 days sober (after 365 days per year x 17 years x 10-12 drinks per night)...3 days is both not much and everything. I'm done. The rituals, once healthy, will feel much more satisfying. Sparkling water with a lemon squeezed in is my new wine on porch.
Best wishes to you.
The rituals were what I feared losing the most. Last of my employees gone for the day equaled some vodka, arriving home meant a bottle of wine on my porch with my wife (who doesn't drink).... Gardening meant "a beer" but the beer hid the secret vodka that I guzzled over the course of the day....picking up takeout meant alone time at the restaurant drinking and reading a book and on and on.
The drinking defined my framework for each day (as did tobacco) and I slowly grew more and more despondent as I watched life pass by, my kids grow closer to being young adults, the luster fade in my still loving but damaged by drink marriage. From that point, with many false starts, my plan was logistical..., don't die in withdrawal, tell everyone I knew that I don't drink anymore (many were surprised because they were unaware that I had the issues) and replace each ritual with a healthier one. I won't bore you with how I did each step but I am really overwhelmed that I'm 3 days sober (after 365 days per year x 17 years x 10-12 drinks per night)...3 days is both not much and everything. I'm done. The rituals, once healthy, will feel much more satisfying. Sparkling water with a lemon squeezed in is my new wine on porch.
Best wishes to you.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,901
Sansa -- maybe you can add something new to your routine now that you're getting a little recovery time built up. Volunteer work? Daily exercise routine? Part time job? Going to recovery meetings or counseling of some kind? New hobby you've always wanted to try? Those are just a few ideas off the top of my head. That flat feeling stands a better chance of going away if you're actively working at making it do so.
Glad you found this site !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 534
Thanks casey. I've been a bit sick but hoping to return to my regular exercise class this week. I've taken up knitting so am planning on going down to the yarn shop and choosing a new project, just gotta build up a bit more money first as its exxy! Saving lots from not drinking wine though.
looks like I'm back to day 1 tomorrow. So upset with myself and I actually feel physically sick. 3 glasses of wine
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