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Old 05-30-2015, 04:18 AM
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Today

Here I am today at the weekend, and I'm obsessing and ruminating about work. Got up late, started worrying. The worry is about a specific task I am required to complete. I have arranged for a colleague to come and help me with it on Monday and I have set aside the majority of next week to ensure it is thoroughly completed.

The worry then starts to grow, I then start to think about other tasks at work that I need to complete, meetings I need to have, places I need to be.

I then start to create situations in my head, tell myself a story about what ifs, worry that my manager is going to try get me sacked when he returns from leave.

My manager and I had a capability meeting before he went on holiday, in it, he stated I was not working to the required standard, he did not provide any more information, so I'm left wondering what is required from me.

I have really struggled to get up each morning. Maybe if I set my alarm for the same time every day, that will help?

I'm desperate to turn things around for myself, I just don't know where to even begin
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Old 05-30-2015, 04:28 AM
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Stewy I feel for you, I know what that sort of worry does to you.

Can you make a specific list of actions for the big task you are to complete and how your colleague can help?

Then maybe make some lists about the other tasks?

Then let it go. Give yourself permission to go and enjoy your Saturday doing whatever you need to but not worrying? Have a nap this afternoon maybe?

If you find it creeping up then review your lists again.
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Old 05-30-2015, 04:34 AM
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Stewy, I'm naturally a morning person and get up between 4 and 5:30 no matter what. I think the military instilled that in me yrs. ago but it stuck. Anyhoo,,,I've always enjoyed the quiet time to meditate (gotta get back on that one) plan my goals for the day with a few contingencies, and just give myself the gift of unhurried activity. Of course I'm in bed early too--haven't been a night-lifer since my 30's. I say set the alarm 1.5 hrs. before you have to be at work and get up every day at that time (yes, even days off--you'd be surprised what you can do before noon). I'm on SR within 5 min. of being up every day and it helps me clarify the sober commitment and go from there. Post thanks and encouragement when you see progress here. I'm sure kind words, even from anonymous folks, felt good and helped you in the past--do it for others and it helps soften life.
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Old 05-30-2015, 04:40 AM
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When your boss gets back can you sit down and work out a progress plan? He/she can give you specific measurable goals to meet so you aren't so vague on your requirements?
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Old 05-30-2015, 04:48 AM
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I second ArtFriend, you manager should give you clear deliverables.

And try not to worry about a day that has not come yet. Aim for the now moment. Counting my blessings usually bring me back to the present.
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Old 05-30-2015, 05:51 AM
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Stewy, I second ArtFriend in meeting your manager to get clarification. Flying blind is like walking through a mine field, blindfolded.

In the meantime, it sounds like you are working yourself into a panic. I've done that myself. Ultimately that leads to worse things because I try to do everything at once, and not very well, than focus on one thing at a time.

Pick your battles. Make a list. You know this one project needs doing next week. That is number one on the list. You have enlisted aid. Great! That will help. Write down the next thing that needs doing. What steps do you need to take to complete that? Then on to the next. Then relax. Take a walk. Deep breaths. Get up early and eat a good breakfast. Get to work early on Monday and get started.

You can do this.
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Old 05-30-2015, 05:55 AM
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I just want to add: talk it out. When I start getting in my head I like to either write it or talk it out to someone. Letting it flow lets the feeling get out, at least for me.

Also try to relax and force yourself to get occupied in something else. Drawing, plant something, sewing... Do something manual to give your mind a break.

It's the weekend after all!
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Old 05-30-2015, 06:18 AM
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Stewy - I could have written that. I worry about work constantly. Weekends are no better, just more time to worry about upcoming challenges. I know my coworkers don't worry as much as me and I'm told I do a good job, but my anxiety seems to be growing the older I get. I often feel I have too much on my plate and can't manage it all...
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Old 05-30-2015, 06:54 AM
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Can you call a meeting to get clarification about what they are expecting from you? Surprising that the manager told you how you aren't meeting requirements but failed to identify what they are.
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