Friday Restless Dreams
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 38
Friday Restless Dreams
Hey everyone;
I got over three months sober earlier this year for the first time in my life since I started drinking when I was 16. I'm 27 now. That was the beginning of this year from January to halfway through April. Then I started seeing a girl and started drinking again. The first night was great but by the second night things were already starting to get out of control and for the next 5 weeks I was on/off drinking and everything in my life got worse because of it. Not horrible, but in the wrong direction, gaining weight, losing energy, making poor decisions, etc.
I'm going on two weeks sober and Friday night is getting to me. I just woke up from a nap and had an alcohol dream. All my friends I had ever met were at a bar drinking and I had to go into a secluded part of the bar to do homework. I just wanted to drink so badly. Almost every time I go to sleep I dream about drinking.
I broke up with the girl who I was seeing when I relapsed. It wasn't her fault but part of the relapse was definitely because of her. I told her the truth; that I still really liked her but I have to focus on myself right now. She was upset and doesn't really get it. I told her we could still spend time together and we actually have to spend time together as we're in film school working on a film together as producers. She still acts like we're dating even though I stopped sleeping with her. Tries to make plans for the future, tries to make out with me all the time. I need to do a better job at explaining it's over. She's 22 and didn't know me when I was really drinking. Her inability to give me the space I need has made me lose affection for her as she is kind of smothering me.
I don't have a specific question. Just kind of wanted to share. I'm also not going to AA cause I really don't like the god aspect and in general am very uncomfortable around any sort of group ideology. But I'm starting to think I should go just to have someone to talk to who understands being an alcoholic. It's kind of sad how uncomfortable people get when I bring it up. Im not uncomfortable at all around it. I just see it as getting bad genes. But I don't have anyone to talk to who understands. It's hard not having anyone who understands what it's like.
That's it. Just kind of sad and tempted on a Friday night. What are the rest of you up to?
I got over three months sober earlier this year for the first time in my life since I started drinking when I was 16. I'm 27 now. That was the beginning of this year from January to halfway through April. Then I started seeing a girl and started drinking again. The first night was great but by the second night things were already starting to get out of control and for the next 5 weeks I was on/off drinking and everything in my life got worse because of it. Not horrible, but in the wrong direction, gaining weight, losing energy, making poor decisions, etc.
I'm going on two weeks sober and Friday night is getting to me. I just woke up from a nap and had an alcohol dream. All my friends I had ever met were at a bar drinking and I had to go into a secluded part of the bar to do homework. I just wanted to drink so badly. Almost every time I go to sleep I dream about drinking.
I broke up with the girl who I was seeing when I relapsed. It wasn't her fault but part of the relapse was definitely because of her. I told her the truth; that I still really liked her but I have to focus on myself right now. She was upset and doesn't really get it. I told her we could still spend time together and we actually have to spend time together as we're in film school working on a film together as producers. She still acts like we're dating even though I stopped sleeping with her. Tries to make plans for the future, tries to make out with me all the time. I need to do a better job at explaining it's over. She's 22 and didn't know me when I was really drinking. Her inability to give me the space I need has made me lose affection for her as she is kind of smothering me.
I don't have a specific question. Just kind of wanted to share. I'm also not going to AA cause I really don't like the god aspect and in general am very uncomfortable around any sort of group ideology. But I'm starting to think I should go just to have someone to talk to who understands being an alcoholic. It's kind of sad how uncomfortable people get when I bring it up. Im not uncomfortable at all around it. I just see it as getting bad genes. But I don't have anyone to talk to who understands. It's hard not having anyone who understands what it's like.
That's it. Just kind of sad and tempted on a Friday night. What are the rest of you up to?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Exegesis, one of the great things about SR is that there is always someone around who understands. Have you made a plan for the weekend -- a plan to stay sober? You might pick up some ideas over on the Weekend thread.
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