Weasel1966

I posted about what I learned on vacation. I almost never cross talk my threads but I felt I needed to get this out there and you all were with me every step of the way. Thanks again!

brynn

Routines....can't live without them! When my routine is interrupted it's like I've lost my script and have no clue what to do next blah!

Soberpotamus.....they say deep breathing exercises help with hubby frustrations but I find screaming into a pillow more cathartic. Both are better than going on a wild shopping spree or getting wasted to 'show' him though (at least that's been my experience ) Hugs sister!

Still raining here in Dallas (what a surprise) so indoor activities are on the agenda.
Tonight I'm playing poker which is something I've only ever done while drinking and I'm still kind of debating whether it's a good idea.
Xoxo

Olive1

Olive! Sober! Here!

Happy Saturday Sober Enders!
So much to catch up on! A cup of coffee shall help.

Planning on cleaning and purging today. Emphasis on the planning. I happen to be a most excellent procrastinator.
Buffalo steak for the grill later and I am making a macaroni salad with some black bean macaroni I purchased a while ago and have not yet tried.
Hope everyone is doing well this morning.

trachemys

An addict friend of mine said his wife's way of dealing with his crap was a large dictionary. He'd wake up to her beating him with it.

biminiblue

Jennie, the hoarding thing? Ugh. It's an anxiety disorder. ((hug)) You have my sympathy.









gettingsmarter is also female?????????

I don't even...

Soberpotamus

I wouldn't call him a hoarder, more like a very frugal person afraid to throw anything away. He thinks he will need it someday. My grandfather is this way so I am familiar. It's just that I am a very neat person and it hurts to see it.

Soberpotamus

It is also maddening to have to clean around it.

Anyway, we just went on a cleaning spree so it looks better. He just resists throwing out what I perceive to be junk and clutter.

biminiblue

Oh, I'm glad he lets you have a tidy house.

Keep trying reason. I come from a family who never threw stuff away, as well. Of the six of us, two kept building more house to buy more stuff - but kept a neat living area. One of us bought a tiny place (me) and has to periodically purge, but keeps a neat living area. One I never visit so don't know his habits - and then his dad who became a serious hoarder who even hoarded his place of business and a warehouse. It was bad.

Of course, my anxiety manifested with other obsessive behaviors - and here I am

Olive1

I heard something on the news earlier this week about cleaning and purging. They said that you should look at each item and ask yourself if it brings you joy. If it doesn't, then it needs to go. This is what I am hoping to get started on today.

But all of my clutter is my clutter, because I live alone. If it was someone else's clutter I don't know how I would deal with it. You have my sympathies, SP.

Soberpotamus

It's funny, I can see our psychological hang-ups manifested in our contrasting living habits - I was the only child of an alcoholic mother. I kept my bedroom immaculate. It's probably a control thing, wanting to keep sanity in the midst of chaos. Whereas Brian is afraid of running out of things probably because when he was a teenager his dad lost his job for a couple of years and they struggled. I can see where we both are coming from.

And we struggle to meet in the middle. It's still an early marriage and I guess I get wistful of my days of being independent and single.

Soberpotamus

Thanks for listening and for letting me air it out, y'all. I will be fine.

Thanks for the family share, Bim.

mecanix

I got that to look forwards to soberp with my move ,

I might have headed off my cluttery ways by defining "my" areas and mex-m8's areas .. i have the garage , the cupboard under the stair bar the vacuum cleaner and an extra room for music and computery stuff ..

would defined areas of responsibility be good for you ?

Soberpotamus

We sort of have that going, Mecanix. He has an entire extra bedroom to fill up with clutter, lol! And believe me, it is filled to the top

I'd be totally fine if he confined it to that room, but he doesn't.

I guess my biggest complaint is that he puts up a fight if I try to move or throw away. And then he says there's no spot for whatever thing it is. And I agree, there is no spot because they're all taken!

I had this house perfect when I met him. I had a place for all my things. I know where all my stuff is because I have a good memory. His part of it is total chaos.

I will talk good about him cleaning the garage lately. He is trying. It's just sad to watch. Such slow progress.

Solarion

Ruby, the idea of driving around with Hula Girl on the dashboard reminded me of this:



Having a simple salad with canned mackerel for lunch.

My adventure of the day was buying a patio chair (for reading outside) and getting it home with just me and my bicycle. Mission accomplished. Walked home about halfway then when I got to our quieter streets I slung it over my back and biked the rest of the way. Like a champ.

(This is a non-folding chair, reasonably sturdy, and the back and arms are comfortable for reading. I tested several models in the store a few weeks ago, then finally went and bought one.)

Focusing on chess and qi exercises/meditation to cultivate some neglected interests.

Two more episodes of Daredevil left to watch, and I feel both anticipation and reluctance to finish the series.

Ruby2

SP, I'm sorry you are having trouble. My husband and I have the exact same arguments only I'm the clutterer and it's gotten worse with two messy kids added to the mix. For me it's control and comfort. I'm slowly working on it. Not fast enough for my husband but I'm working within my comfort zone. I have to say, the one time I was seriously considering divorce was when my husband started throwing away my stuff. Ask him what he thinks the solution is. An extra room that he can keep just his stuff in. It's tough if you're running out of space.

Just finished running errands. Gymnastics class for daughter. Deposited husbands pay check, wired him money because he lost his ATM card. Took the lawn mower to the repair shop. Find out that Black & Decker has made it difficult to repair their old model battery powered mowers. May be mower shopping. I'd prefer not a gas powered.

So we're resting and soon I'll be cleaning the kitchen. It's been raining here all day and the temp is supposed to drop into the 40s this afternoon. Maybe baking is in store.

Weasel1966

Daredevil? Hmmm... I am looking for something to watch this afternoon as I have not spent much time at home relaxing. So home it is today.

Hey Sol... What is that series about?

Soz... I stop to get hot dog rolls for my cook out later. I decided a big burger from the meat counter wil be in order. I now have hot dogs. Hot dog rolls and a hamburger. What am I missing? Doh! Guess I will chop it up and mix in the extras and make it a burger dog.

And hell no... No... I will not apologize for that chocolate ganache cake I got to celebrate my week. I will share though! Grab a fork!

Good conversations. Good advice.

Weasel1966

Art and melki... And who else is in Texas... How are you? Can we have an update?

biminiblue

I am going to buy one of those hula girls today. (or not, every time I see it I think that )

I need to get to Target anyway.

She looks so happy in South Chicago. Good thing it's getting warmer, she's not really dressed for it.

I didn't like Daredevil (only watched one episode.) It's really dark - but Ken, it is a superhero story. Maybe boys like it better I guess maybe I could try it again. It's a Netflix original.

MisterChill

Old friend of mine asked me to come over and help install a new TV last night. I did and he and his wife were drinking beer and wine. It was so weird. It didn't bother me nor did I crave. I didn't even think about the possibility of facing a challenge when I went over. In my mind I was only thinking about wiring surround sound.

I hung out for a couple hours. Of course they offered me a drink (I never discussed the direction I'm going beforehand). I simply said I'm done with that for a while. No questions asked. A simple "good for you" and that was it.

The grip didn't tug me. Iced tea tasted fine. And I went home not really thinking much about it. I'm not sure if it's because I never thought about it in advance before I walked in their door or if I'm slowly removing myself from "needing" to drink every day.

Either way, today is lucky D13. Feeling fine.

Edit to add: I fell asleep before 11pm last night. Of a Friday?? haha

Solarion

It's about a blind martial artist/attorney with heightened senses fighting crime in Hell's Kitchen, who finds himself at cross-purposes with a powerful and ruthless businessman (some might say crime-lord) re: how to improve the city. It is dark, and it has brutal and bloody moments, but it also has a fine cast and excellent writing throughout. This is based on the Marvel comic book of the same name. A drama with moral themes rather than all action and wisecracks.