rl41

Fell off again, I'm such a failure. It's affecting health big time, spent the last 24 hours being sick, bf and family think it's a bug. He's away next week and it terrifies me to be alone. I don't live with him and have pushed most family and friends away.

My chest feels so tight with anxiety, started taking the antidepressants again, they didn't help before so sort of think why should they now.

I just need help. My job as a teacher is at risk if I carry on but afraid to get help for the real reason as I'm afraid the school will find out and get rid of me anyway.

I know if I get sober it would be better. It's the loneliness in an evening that gets to me, my friend in disguise alcohol is in fact the devil. When I am sober I know I feel better but how do I do it alone?

Dee74

Maybe the answer is not to do it alone rl41?

what about joining a group thread like the Class of May?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-7.html

or joining the 24 hour Recovery connection thread - it's a great way to make a commitment to daily sobriety?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-59-a-14.html

There's some great ideas about making a better recovery plan here, as well as information on real life support like AA & other recovery groups

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

D

rl41

Thank you Dee, I know in the long run I'll be better sober, that's the irritating thing. My chest feels so tight, I just want to be happy and normal again

Dee74

you will rl - hang in there

D

rl41

Thank you Dee, I can't express how thankful I there are people like you out there.

Calicofish

Hi Rl41 -

Wow - can I relate to your post. That tight chest feeling brings back such dreadful memories. That is anxiety at its worst. I know that feeling so well. But I will tell you, that drinking actually causes it. It might take it away for awhile, but after you finish drinking, here comes the anxiety train down that track.

I drank for many reasons - loneliness being one of them. It doesn't make it better at all and it only made me feel like death in the mornings and of course made me feel miserable. It's a vicious cycle and the only way off is to stop drinking.

Problems will still be there, but they will be easier to manage and the one problem you won't have is the crappy hangovers and no energy.

You can do it.
CF

IOAA2

Hi RI.
I waited almost too long to take action against my case of alcoholism by procrastination and found out that the longer path takes a toll mentally, emotionally and physically.

We find out how powerful, cunning, baffling, insidious and patient alcohol is dictating what we do instead of what we need.

There is excellent advice on these forums that work to get us sober and into recovery IF followed. I/we needed to learn all over again our way of thinking and reactions to life stresses without resorting to try escaping the pain.

AA is often rejected but has helped millions over the years and only cost $1 donation for a lifesaving way of life.

We have choices; hopefully a lifesaving one is taken.

BE WELL

rl41

Thanks guys it means so much. Been to the doctors for some meds to help with anxiety, just feel like someone's standing on my chest.

Have a plan for the next two days, trying to immerse myself with family. Have so much planned and looking forward to over the next few months, I know if I can make it next week with my bf gone I can make it longer.

I'll be on here daily now, no more excuses

Anna

I'm glad you've talked to your dr and that's a great first step. If you are worried about confidentiality, you could try talking to a therapist or counsellor. Have faith that you will be able to do this and to live a sober life.