Since I can't be a big boy,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by thomas11 
Rehab? detox? NO WAY. I've been through alot worse. In fact I was on life support for 48 hours when I was younger. GHB, the chemist was all ****** up and didn't mix it right.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Sorry to be blunt but your actions lead me to believe you just aren't ready to give up drinking.
It took me years to come to the realization I couldn't drink. Hopefully you will find your way before alcohol kills you
It took me years to come to the realization I couldn't drink. Hopefully you will find your way before alcohol kills you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
This is what you tell yourself, both as an excuse to continue drinking and to avoid getting help.
All of us here, collectively, have read and heard, perhaps even done, such things thousands of times.
Knock it off and get help.
All of us here, collectively, have read and heard, perhaps even done, such things thousands of times.
Knock it off and get help.
But it sounds like you're looking for an escape. You are saying: "to hell with it, I'm off to California in the morning! And I'm buying a ticket at the damn counter!" I'm sorry but that sounds like a bunch of hot air. That's a drunk talking right there man. Does your wife live out there? Is she out there for work? Give the neighbor kid $20 to take you to the airport? Man...just take a step back here and get yourself together.
Part of you does have the right idea. Putting your sobriety in someone else's hands right now might just be a good idea. That someone, however, should be a professional. Have a cup of coffee, some water, and some food. Watch a movie and go to bed and get a good night's rest. Wake up tomorrow and throw out your alcohol. Start there. If you still want to go to California after that, it will still be there.
When you wake up, here's just one recommendation I have for help in MN. Check them out over a healthy breakfast and coffee in the morning: https://www.fairview.org/Services/Be...rams/index.htm
Good luck buddy. Stop resisting so hard and fix this issue. You're not alone, many of us have been there.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by thomas11
ohhhh she can keep me sober.
Why not use that trip money to go to detox? Right now that is a loving thing you can do for your wife -- and yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
You've made the same suggestions for other people on their threads when they've been a "mess." What's stopping you now?
Flying out to meet your wife rather than getting help? What's up with that?
Flying out to meet your wife rather than getting help? What's up with that?
Neever said I was smart. Right?
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,678
Originally Posted by thomas11
Neever said I was smart. Right?
I'm not interested in playing games with you, and I've nothing left to add.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 18,237
Sounds like classic narcissistic alcoholic behavior to me.
When you see your wife, give her the URL to the forum and the Friends & Family thread for me, would you? She'll be spending a lot of time there, crying and eventually learning to leave you, is my guess.
When you see your wife, give her the URL to the forum and the Friends & Family thread for me, would you? She'll be spending a lot of time there, crying and eventually learning to leave you, is my guess.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Sorry to be blunt but based on your actions I do not believe you are ready to give up drinking. You want to control the chaos but stopping drinking? I don't think so.
It took me 20 years to decide I was done with alcohol. I thank God that I didn't kill myself or someone else before I came to that realization.
It took me 20 years to decide I was done with alcohol. I thank God that I didn't kill myself or someone else before I came to that realization.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
Hi Jeff. Are you okay? I have been absent from SR. What is going on?
I can relate. Right now, I HATE sobriety. I got so pissed because everyone had been demanding and hounding me to wipe their butts. I rrrrrreally want to go to the store and get a 4-pack - hide it and then save them for days like this.
I keep thinking, "why am I trying so hard to stay sober when I am completely miserable?" Am I really an alcoholic? Ten minutes ago I would have said no. After reading your post, I know that I am.
I am sitting in my car staring at the asphalt in a parking lot near Burbank (coincidentally). The thing that stopped me from driving to get wine is reading your threads. I was just imagining what I would do with the wine. Would I be happy with just those four mini bottles? Probably not. Truly I do not mean any offense when I say this: I won't drink because I don't want to be in the state that you seem to be right now. I remember it. It was not fun. It was not relaxing.
I am also remembering how difficult it was for me to detox; I was extremely physically dependent upon alcohol.
My dogs know when I am troubled, too. Who would watch your dog if you left? Please take care of yourself tonight.
I can relate. Right now, I HATE sobriety. I got so pissed because everyone had been demanding and hounding me to wipe their butts. I rrrrrreally want to go to the store and get a 4-pack - hide it and then save them for days like this.
I keep thinking, "why am I trying so hard to stay sober when I am completely miserable?" Am I really an alcoholic? Ten minutes ago I would have said no. After reading your post, I know that I am.
I am sitting in my car staring at the asphalt in a parking lot near Burbank (coincidentally). The thing that stopped me from driving to get wine is reading your threads. I was just imagining what I would do with the wine. Would I be happy with just those four mini bottles? Probably not. Truly I do not mean any offense when I say this: I won't drink because I don't want to be in the state that you seem to be right now. I remember it. It was not fun. It was not relaxing.
I am also remembering how difficult it was for me to detox; I was extremely physically dependent upon alcohol.
My dogs know when I am troubled, too. Who would watch your dog if you left? Please take care of yourself tonight.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Well Jeff,
Again, I only saw this this morning. The others have said it better than I can - Nobody can get you sober if YOU don't want to be sober.
I must be psychic - you have started thread after thread this weekend in your pissed state looking for an answer that is not forthcoming. You can continue to do so - but I am afraid that the answer, although put down in different words in each post and each thread is going to stay the same.
You can go see your wife. Maybe it will destroy whatever you have left between you two. Hang on, is that it mate???????? Is this the thing that is really buggering you up???? I have no answer if that is the case. The only thing I can tell you about that is that you are not going to find the answer at the bottom of a bottle. You will only find more hurt and pain. If you have problems with your missus, you are only going to push her further away by your actions now. Trust me when I tell you this, you will create more harm when you're pissed and try to resolve it than by getting sober. Some things can not be unsaid and you will say those things when pissed as you have no control over it. I know you think alcohol is numbing the pain - it is not. You would know this from the last few days - the pain is still there in the morning. Only a lot worse.
You asked me once how I could deal with it. The answer is simple. I may or may not have lost my wife. Although booze is one of the reasons, it is not the only reason. I tried my best to drink the pain and heartache away. In the end, the booze almost killed me. It sneaks up very quickly mate. I realised that I could deal with the pain and heartache better while being sober. I know it doesn't seem so, but I promise you it is. You can reason better when you're sober and things seem so much more clearer.
Others have said it better than me. Get sober. Get help to do this. You people are so lucky with all the facilities and awareness you have that side. Use it. Take advantage of it. Get back on the wagon. Make that decision and make it now. Your wife will ultimately respect you more for your actions to get sober. Don't throw that away!
Best of luck.
Cheers,
ZAB
Again, I only saw this this morning. The others have said it better than I can - Nobody can get you sober if YOU don't want to be sober.
I must be psychic - you have started thread after thread this weekend in your pissed state looking for an answer that is not forthcoming. You can continue to do so - but I am afraid that the answer, although put down in different words in each post and each thread is going to stay the same.
You can go see your wife. Maybe it will destroy whatever you have left between you two. Hang on, is that it mate???????? Is this the thing that is really buggering you up???? I have no answer if that is the case. The only thing I can tell you about that is that you are not going to find the answer at the bottom of a bottle. You will only find more hurt and pain. If you have problems with your missus, you are only going to push her further away by your actions now. Trust me when I tell you this, you will create more harm when you're pissed and try to resolve it than by getting sober. Some things can not be unsaid and you will say those things when pissed as you have no control over it. I know you think alcohol is numbing the pain - it is not. You would know this from the last few days - the pain is still there in the morning. Only a lot worse.
You asked me once how I could deal with it. The answer is simple. I may or may not have lost my wife. Although booze is one of the reasons, it is not the only reason. I tried my best to drink the pain and heartache away. In the end, the booze almost killed me. It sneaks up very quickly mate. I realised that I could deal with the pain and heartache better while being sober. I know it doesn't seem so, but I promise you it is. You can reason better when you're sober and things seem so much more clearer.
Others have said it better than me. Get sober. Get help to do this. You people are so lucky with all the facilities and awareness you have that side. Use it. Take advantage of it. Get back on the wagon. Make that decision and make it now. Your wife will ultimately respect you more for your actions to get sober. Don't throw that away!
Best of luck.
Cheers,
ZAB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by ZaBoozer
Well Jeff,
Again, I only saw this this morning. The others have said it better than I can - Nobody can get you sober if YOU don't want to be sober.
I must be psychic - you have started thread after thread this weekend in your pissed state looking for an answer that is not forthcoming. You can continue to do so - but I am afraid that the answer, although put down in different words in each post and each thread is going to stay the same.
You can go see your wife. Maybe it will destroy whatever you have left between you two. Hang on, is that it mate???????? Is this the thing that is really buggering you up???? I have no answer if that is the case. The only thing I can tell you about that is that you are not going to find the answer at the bottom of a bottle. You will only find more hurt and pain. If you have problems with your missus, you are only going to push her further away by your actions now. Trust me when I tell you this, you will create more harm when you're pissed and try to resolve it than by getting sober. Some things can not be unsaid and you will say those things when pissed as you have no control over it. I know you think alcohol is numbing the pain - it is not. You would know this from the last few days - the pain is still there in the morning. Only a lot worse.
You asked me once how I could deal with it. The answer is simple. I may or may not have lost my wife. Although booze is one of the reasons, it is not the only reason. I tried my best to drink the pain and heartache away. In the end, the booze almost killed me. It sneaks up very quickly mate. I realised that I could deal with the pain and heartache better while being sober. I know it doesn't seem so, but I promise you it is. You can reason better when you're sober and things seem so much more clearer.
Others have said it better than me. Get sober. Get help to do this. You people are so lucky with all the facilities and awareness you have that side. Use it. Take advantage of it. Get back on the wagon. Make that decision and make it now. Your wife will ultimately respect you more for your actions to get sober. Don't throw that away!
Best of luck.
Cheers,
ZAB
Again, I only saw this this morning. The others have said it better than I can - Nobody can get you sober if YOU don't want to be sober.
I must be psychic - you have started thread after thread this weekend in your pissed state looking for an answer that is not forthcoming. You can continue to do so - but I am afraid that the answer, although put down in different words in each post and each thread is going to stay the same.
You can go see your wife. Maybe it will destroy whatever you have left between you two. Hang on, is that it mate???????? Is this the thing that is really buggering you up???? I have no answer if that is the case. The only thing I can tell you about that is that you are not going to find the answer at the bottom of a bottle. You will only find more hurt and pain. If you have problems with your missus, you are only going to push her further away by your actions now. Trust me when I tell you this, you will create more harm when you're pissed and try to resolve it than by getting sober. Some things can not be unsaid and you will say those things when pissed as you have no control over it. I know you think alcohol is numbing the pain - it is not. You would know this from the last few days - the pain is still there in the morning. Only a lot worse.
You asked me once how I could deal with it. The answer is simple. I may or may not have lost my wife. Although booze is one of the reasons, it is not the only reason. I tried my best to drink the pain and heartache away. In the end, the booze almost killed me. It sneaks up very quickly mate. I realised that I could deal with the pain and heartache better while being sober. I know it doesn't seem so, but I promise you it is. You can reason better when you're sober and things seem so much more clearer.
Others have said it better than me. Get sober. Get help to do this. You people are so lucky with all the facilities and awareness you have that side. Use it. Take advantage of it. Get back on the wagon. Make that decision and make it now. Your wife will ultimately respect you more for your actions to get sober. Don't throw that away!
Best of luck.
Cheers,
ZAB
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by thomas11
ohhhh she can keep me sober. otherwise its a boot up my ass. God I love her to death. To death! she keeps me grounded. I'm shaking.
She cannot keep you sober. Only you can keep YOU sober.
That is the cold hard truth.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,901
Originally Posted by thomas11
ohhhh she can keep me sober. otherwise its a boot up my ass. God I love her to death. To death! she keeps me grounded. I'm shaking.
You love her to death? Is this a great way to show it? Turning up in a state and expecting her to sort you out. Do you think maybe she deserves more than that?
If you love her as much as you say, maybe you could show her that you're willing to put the work in to get clean and sober by checking into rehab. That way you could start be to support her as much as she supports you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 35
Thomas, you make it sound as though this marriage is all about you, what you want and what you need. What about your wife's wants and needs? I'm sure she didn't marry you to become your babysitter. I am sorry, but if I was Mrs Thomas while your flight was landing in Burbank, I'd be on the first plane in the opposite direction.
Think this through. Your boozing is YOUR problem, not hers. Why not get help to fix it instead of turning up where she's at and making it her responsibility? Is it the alcohol that's making you act out like a child?
I am truly sad for you and for the state you are in, I have been there. But I got myself out, because only I could do that. I will add my best wishes to those of the rest of the posters on this thread. I really do hope you sort yourself out and be the reliable solid man your wife is probably longing for. x
Think this through. Your boozing is YOUR problem, not hers. Why not get help to fix it instead of turning up where she's at and making it her responsibility? Is it the alcohol that's making you act out like a child?
I am truly sad for you and for the state you are in, I have been there. But I got myself out, because only I could do that. I will add my best wishes to those of the rest of the posters on this thread. I really do hope you sort yourself out and be the reliable solid man your wife is probably longing for. x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Before taking any action, think about what comes next. Many if not all of the people here have lost someone that they love and it was all because of an addiction, booze or otherwise.
The ones who ultimately have it the worst? The people who lose someone that loves them back. Think about it
The ones who ultimately have it the worst? The people who lose someone that loves them back. Think about it
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,890
I always had really bad luck when I traveled. Wherever I went the alcoholic living in my head went with me. I couldn't get away from that SOB, no matter how hard I tried; no matter how many people I hurt by throwing them into the fray.
I'm SO glad I finally learned how to live with that Bastid. He's still there, living in my head. He's just not in charge anymore.
I'm SO glad I finally learned how to live with that Bastid. He's still there, living in my head. He's just not in charge anymore.
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