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Why Won't the AV Shut Up!!

Old 05-24-2015, 04:53 PM
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Why Won't the AV Shut Up!!

So 77 days sober today. I thought being around alcohol would be easier at this point... But my av is screaming. I'm at a jazz club with the family and around nothing but booze! My mom just ordered a beer and I'm frustrated. I was not completely prepared for how this feels. I'm really working out these sobriety muscles (as I think Dee has coined the phrase?) but it's just so much harder than I remembered. I'm ordering a coke but in this atmosphere on the weekend I'm itching for a drink. I know it's wrong. I'll stay strong. But I'd love some support to shut my AV up. Thanks everyone
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Old 05-24-2015, 04:57 PM
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Have you tried these cravings tips - urge surfing was particularly helpful to me
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Rational Recovery might be useful for you too - it's all about recognising the AV and breaking its hold.

There's more about it in the Secular Forum
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D
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Old 05-24-2015, 04:58 PM
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Mmm there comes a point in my opinion where it knows its needs aren't going to get met and it distributes itself to the path of least resistance. In my case (nearly 6 months sober) it gets its thrills from reading, running and working. With the occasional cream cake thrown in. I'm working on how to get rid of it completely but for now try to find other healthy ways to satisfy your addictive voice?
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Old 05-24-2015, 04:59 PM
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Congrats on 77 days! That's huge! If it were me I'd think of how bad I would feel for slipping (As in my case it would probably turn into a full relapse) I think you've got this.
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Old 05-24-2015, 05:00 PM
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It's usually not this strong. I read and knit and run constantly and staying busy seems to help usually. But when I'm stuck in situations where there's nothing but booze and I'm not in a position to do any of my hobbies the AV finds a louder voice than normal.

Dee, I'll definitely check out those links. Thank you!
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Old 05-24-2015, 05:01 PM
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I am new hear and fearful of jumping in with advice. But, I visualize my AV as limited to a certain spot in my brain. He is in a cage and not matter how rip roaring loud he gets he cannot get out unless I feed him the alcohol he wants. Because if he gets out he takes over everything. So while he has permanent space and I hope he starves to death eventually, I cannot feed him - not one drink -I don't know what will happen but it won't be good and never worth it!
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Old 05-24-2015, 05:05 PM
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Originally Posted by realE View Post
I am new hear and fearful of jumping in with advice. But, I visualize my AV as limited to a certain spot in my brain. He is in a cage and not matter how rip roaring loud he gets he cannot get out unless I feed him the alcohol he wants. Because if he gets out he takes over everything. So while he has permanent space and I hope he starves to death eventually, I cannot feed him - not one drink -I don't know what will happen but it won't be good and never worth it!
RealE thank you for the advice! Please don't feel fearful to give advice, your recommendation is really great and being new has no impact on how helpful you will be that's actually a really good tip, it's what I did with quitting smoking by realizing that smoking would only fees the nicotine monster so obviously alcohol would do the same for the AV. Thank you your tip
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Old 05-24-2015, 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Kafkaesque View Post
It's usually not this strong. I read and knit and run constantly and staying busy seems to help usually. But when I'm stuck in situations where there's nothing but booze and I'm not in a position to do any of my hobbies the AV finds a louder voice than normal.

Dee, I'll definitely check out those links. Thank you!
Keep going and doing your best! I think there is a tipping point where AV gives up using so much energy on trying to entice you back to drink and starts feeding from the other stuff you have available. I haven't heard from mine in a few months! Even during lots of social engagements. I think it's too busy trying to get me to work till 2am or run twice in one day lol. Not saying that is healthy either but its sure better than drinking! Just keep going. You will overcome
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Old 05-24-2015, 05:09 PM
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You are welcome. I'm just second guessing myself and moderating my own - coming in like a wrecking ball persona. You know - gut check to the newly sober. I want 77 days! Congrats. Right now I just want 7 days! And the visualizing the demon does help me. I will apply it to my own smoking here soon
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Old 05-24-2015, 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted by JackDsMissus View Post
Keep going and doing your best! I think there is a tipping point where AV gives up using so much energy on trying to entice you back to drink and starts feeding from the other stuff you have available. I haven't heard from mine in a few months! Even during lots of social engagements. I think it's too busy trying to get me to work till 2am or run twice in one day lol. Not saying that is healthy either but its sure better than drinking! Just keep going. You will overcome
Thank you Jack! I think you are right. Eventually the AV shuts up because it's too exhausting for it to keep going when it isn't getting what it wants! I'm staying strong and I will definitely be going on a celebratory run (and possibly celebratory binge to my ice cream in the freezer!) when I get home after a successful night. Thank you so much again for your posts you have helped me so much
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Old 05-24-2015, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by realE View Post
You are welcome. I'm just second guessing myself and moderating my own - coming in like a wrecking ball persona. You know - gut check to the newly sober. I want 77 days! Congrats. Right now I just want 7 days! And the visualizing the demon does help me. I will apply it to my own smoking here soon
You definitely didn't come in like a wrecking ball but even if you did, whoever we are at whatever point we are at helps more than you know. I know I also hesitate from time to time because I think I don't have years sober yet so what do I know? But we all help each other and you really did help me tonight, so thank you RealE. It's this community that continues to help me each and every day. How long have you been sober? I've realized posting and reading on here as well as hobbies have gotten me to my 77 days. I don't mean to gush, but this community has been there for me on my best and my worst days. Congrats on making the decision to be with us here and to get sober!
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Old 05-24-2015, 06:22 PM
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You may need more time to be away from those type of environment. I know I can't be around bars for that reason. Just don't want to deal with the voices telling me it's okay to drink because everyone else is. Just don't want to deal with it even if I'm not worry I well have a drink.
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Old 05-24-2015, 06:30 PM
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Originally Posted by ACT10Npack View Post
You may need more time to be away from those type of environment. I know I can't be around bars for that reason. Just don't want to deal with the voices telling me it's okay to drink because everyone else is. Just don't want to deal with it even if I'm not worry I well have a drink.
I think you're right ACT10N. I have been avoiding bars, clubs, the like for awhile now because I wasn't ready for the temptation. I made it through happy hour a few weeks ago so I thought this would be a similar experience... I honestly didn't expect it to be this much of a bar-atmosphere and especially not on a Sunday. I guess I need to be extra careful where I go in order to protect my sobriety at all costs. I'm lucky they served food here because pizza was a good distraction for me.
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Old 05-24-2015, 06:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Kafkaesque View Post
You definitely didn't come in like a wrecking ball but even if you did, whoever we are at whatever point we are at helps more than you know. I know I also hesitate from time to time because I think I don't have years sober yet so what do I know? But we all help each other and you really did help me tonight, so thank you RealE. It's this community that continues to help me each and every day. How long have you been sober? I've realized posting and reading on here as well as hobbies have gotten me to my 77 days. I don't mean to gush, but this community has been there for me on my best and my worst days. Congrats on making the decision to be with us here and to get sober!
I'm 6 days sober and 6 days on this forum. I've been posting in the May group which has been wonderful. Congrats on another day. I plan to keep reaching out here as well. And will chime in more comfortably as time goes by I think!
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Old 05-24-2015, 06:54 PM
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Knit one..pearl two, you got this , the Av can want all it wants and play on the idea that the situation/physical place you are in somehow changes things, jokes on it nothing about no longer an option changed.
Was the pizza good, or just like so/so? And how is the music?
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Old 05-24-2015, 07:03 PM
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One of the things I truly value about SR is that insight comes from everyone -- the newly sober, the old hats and everyone in between.

When I was new to SR, it took me a while to embrace the notion of the AV. Am I not the only voice I have? I wondered. What it took me some time to learn is that the AV represents that part of us that grew out of habit.

But it's not the only voice within us. The voice that wants a better, healthier life -- sobriety -- gaining strength. It is becoming our true voice. RealE paint a great picture -- that other voice inside us doesn't rule the roost anymore and it's rattling around in its cage. Angry. Pay it no mind. That'll make it even smaller and less powerful.

You're stronger than you might think, Kafka. Seventy-seven days is terrific. You can do this.
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Old 05-24-2015, 07:10 PM
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I hope you made it through the event without drinking. Good for you for reaching out for help.
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Old 05-25-2015, 06:01 AM
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
Knit one..pearl two, you got this , the Av can want all it wants and play on the idea that the situation/physical place you are in somehow changes things, jokes on it nothing about no longer an option changed. Was the pizza good, or just like so/so? And how is the music?
The music was actually pretty good! It was a lot of jazz and swing so not what I'm used to but it was a blast actually! As soon as I accepted I wasn't going to be drinking and really ignored the alcohol around me, I relaxed and had a ton of fun! And the pizza was AMAZING. Who would have guessed a dive bar with good pizza? Lol. But thank you dwtbd for your support. And you're right the location/situation shouldn't and doesn't change anything about my sobriety! I think I my start to mentally envision myself sitting on the couch at home when the AV gets loud and remind myself that alcohol is just not available to me thank you again!!
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Old 05-25-2015, 06:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Venecia View Post
One of the things I truly value about SR is that insight comes from everyone -- the newly sober, the old hats and everyone in between. When I was new to SR, it took me a while to embrace the notion of the AV. Am I not the only voice I have? I wondered. What it took me some time to learn is that the AV represents that part of us that grew out of habit. But it's not the only voice within us. The voice that wants a better, healthier life -- sobriety -- gaining strength. It is becoming our true voice. RealE paint a great picture -- that other voice inside us doesn't rule the roost anymore and it's rattling around in its cage. Angry. Pay it no mind. That'll make it even smaller and less powerful. You're stronger than you might think, Kafka. Seventy-seven days is terrific. You can do this.
I feel the same way. We all come from different places and different points in our sobriety but we all have something to offer and that's what makes this community such a success. I wouldn't make it most nights without SR.

You're so right about the sobriety voice. I've always thought of the av as this evil part of me that I'm trying to kill off but the sobriety voice is always louder and has already become a bigger part of who I am than the AV is at this point. So thank you so much for all of your advice and support.

Thank you FLCamper as well! I am proud to say I made it through the night (more than that, I ENJOYED the night!) and woke up not sick and hungover but rather happy, well-rested, and proud! Today is day 78 and you all helped me not compromise that! Thank you!
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Old 05-25-2015, 06:39 AM
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AV! Shaddup!

There, did that help?

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