Starting again...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 61
Starting again...
Hello everyone.
After countless times failing... I feel very tired of everything and have no energy left to fight on. I have failed so many times....It seems that before I could not for months without drinking then a month now 2 weeks. Spent 2 days drinking hard again and back with withdrawals and terrible anxiety.
As much as I feel about giving up, I decide to try my best and change things properly this time. When I feel better I forget and stop doing any work towards my goal. This time I will make it better if it is not too late. This time I will make it difference.
I decided to create this thread and report here to you all with my progress on daily basis, several times a day so I keep coming back. I hope for your support too.
Been a hard day today sober lots of abdominal pain, no sleep, shakes all morning and afternoon. Smoking doesnt help need to stop that as well. Went to see doc today, ran a few tests checked EKG heart rate a bit fast but nothing serious I guess, mild dehydration PH is a bit high. Kindeys are okay, liver function a big elevated but just a touch.
Doc gave me librax for abdominal pain and also xanax for sleep if it becomes unbearable, which it always does at night. For me usually I try to sleep and start having difficulty breathing, when I'm about to drift off I start having cramp like dull pain in lower abdomen and it gets very painful then moves to chest at times. Sometimes It feel like I wont make it to the morning. I have been through this 100 times already probably but it still scares me.
Report: Now it has been 20 hours since last drink. I have no had much sleep in last 2 days while drinking. Still feel shaky, feel tired and exhausted, keep sweating all the time. Stomach is a bit upset and a mild nausea. Muscles feel a bit twitchy, i constantly move around for some reason cant just relax. My eyes are tired and I feel like I want to sleep but I know I cant. If it gets unbearable then I will probably take xanax to try and get a few hours of sleep that I need so I can fight on tomorrow.
My health plummeted in the last 1-2 years. Constant stomach issues and gerd also hiatial hernia. I know all this is caused by alcohol. I need to defeat that demon. Trying to read big book and plan to write a good plan tomorrow, if my head is a bit straight.
Thank you everyone.
After countless times failing... I feel very tired of everything and have no energy left to fight on. I have failed so many times....It seems that before I could not for months without drinking then a month now 2 weeks. Spent 2 days drinking hard again and back with withdrawals and terrible anxiety.
As much as I feel about giving up, I decide to try my best and change things properly this time. When I feel better I forget and stop doing any work towards my goal. This time I will make it better if it is not too late. This time I will make it difference.
I decided to create this thread and report here to you all with my progress on daily basis, several times a day so I keep coming back. I hope for your support too.
Been a hard day today sober lots of abdominal pain, no sleep, shakes all morning and afternoon. Smoking doesnt help need to stop that as well. Went to see doc today, ran a few tests checked EKG heart rate a bit fast but nothing serious I guess, mild dehydration PH is a bit high. Kindeys are okay, liver function a big elevated but just a touch.
Doc gave me librax for abdominal pain and also xanax for sleep if it becomes unbearable, which it always does at night. For me usually I try to sleep and start having difficulty breathing, when I'm about to drift off I start having cramp like dull pain in lower abdomen and it gets very painful then moves to chest at times. Sometimes It feel like I wont make it to the morning. I have been through this 100 times already probably but it still scares me.
Report: Now it has been 20 hours since last drink. I have no had much sleep in last 2 days while drinking. Still feel shaky, feel tired and exhausted, keep sweating all the time. Stomach is a bit upset and a mild nausea. Muscles feel a bit twitchy, i constantly move around for some reason cant just relax. My eyes are tired and I feel like I want to sleep but I know I cant. If it gets unbearable then I will probably take xanax to try and get a few hours of sleep that I need so I can fight on tomorrow.
My health plummeted in the last 1-2 years. Constant stomach issues and gerd also hiatial hernia. I know all this is caused by alcohol. I need to defeat that demon. Trying to read big book and plan to write a good plan tomorrow, if my head is a bit straight.
Thank you everyone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 163
"Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."
-John 21:18
My prayers are with you, and I'm walking right along your side. We got this.
-John 21:18
My prayers are with you, and I'm walking right along your side. We got this.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I wanted to share with you, my last binge 4 months ago, I came off of it with the most severe case of gastritis I have ever had. My GERD was so unbearable I could hardly drink water.
It has completely resolved in sobriety.
Welcome back and stay the course.
It has completely resolved in sobriety.
Welcome back and stay the course.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back sup3r1or. I think seeing your doc was a great idea a a starting this thread with daily reporting will help you too. I also had GI issues and anxiety issues that got much worse in the last stages of my drinking. My sleep was disruptive as well.
Many of those issues did go away though, especially after some solid sober time. The first weeks are very rough...stay in touch with your doc and consider a formal recovery plan or perhaps counseling too. Look and see what options there are for intensive outpatient rehab in your area....it could give you the structure you need in the early weeks.
Many of those issues did go away though, especially after some solid sober time. The first weeks are very rough...stay in touch with your doc and consider a formal recovery plan or perhaps counseling too. Look and see what options there are for intensive outpatient rehab in your area....it could give you the structure you need in the early weeks.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome back sup3r1or!
Scott offers a lot of great advice in the post above this one.
You should join us in the Class of May 2015 thread. It's a great way to get support from others who are also in early recovery. I hope you post often and wishing you the best with your health issues.
Scott offers a lot of great advice in the post above this one.
You should join us in the Class of May 2015 thread. It's a great way to get support from others who are also in early recovery. I hope you post often and wishing you the best with your health issues.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 61
Thank you everyone. I'm trying to sleep now but I can't.I feel tired and my eyes a closing but the minute I start to fall asleep I start having bad lower abdominal pain feels like a cramp in intestine. If I get up it goes away. Also sometimes I feel like I stop breathing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 61
Another UPDATE: I'm almost at 36 hours. Something happened yesterday which never did before and I think its a good thing. I actually slept. After my last post stomach subsided a bit and I fell a sleep and slept about 7 hours. Had to get up to get my daughter to school, couldn't squeeze more sleep. But its better than no sleep at all. I didnt have to take xanax.
I did have Librax for stomach, it does have some small doze of benzo in it, but it usually does nothing for me to help sleep. Guess severe lack of sleep in last 2-3 days also did its job.
Need to go in for work do some paperwork. Then will continue reading big book and write my plan.
My stomach is still pretty bad, have nausea and liquid stool but I guess it will settle with time. Head is still cloudy and overall I can feel anxiety still quite a lot. I will tough it out and see how night goes today. It usually takes me a week to get back to something I can call normal. Chestpains I guess I can attribute to my hernia and gerd.
Taking vitamin B complex 3 times a day and magnesium supplement in the morning also some probiotics.
I did have Librax for stomach, it does have some small doze of benzo in it, but it usually does nothing for me to help sleep. Guess severe lack of sleep in last 2-3 days also did its job.
Need to go in for work do some paperwork. Then will continue reading big book and write my plan.
My stomach is still pretty bad, have nausea and liquid stool but I guess it will settle with time. Head is still cloudy and overall I can feel anxiety still quite a lot. I will tough it out and see how night goes today. It usually takes me a week to get back to something I can call normal. Chestpains I guess I can attribute to my hernia and gerd.
Taking vitamin B complex 3 times a day and magnesium supplement in the morning also some probiotics.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 61
So 2 days ago I was feeling great but starting having cravings after stressful day. I went to SR Chat, nobody was there. Then plugin for chat stopped being supported by Chrome. Went to check my thread here and I got no replies. So I ended up buckling under pressure and going for it again. So after 2 day bender I'm at stage one. A bit milder this time, but lack of sleep still sweating a lot. Had xanax and librax yesterday around 5am as I couldnt sleep and had stomach cramps.
Now nearing 24 hours and hope it will be as smooth as last time, having a friend today to work on my steps .
Now nearing 24 hours and hope it will be as smooth as last time, having a friend today to work on my steps .
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
So 2 days ago I was feeling great but starting having cravings after stressful day. I went to SR Chat, nobody was there. Then plugin for chat stopped being supported by Chrome. Went to check my thread here and I got no replies. So I ended up buckling under pressure and going for it again.
If you need help, ask for it man - start another thread if you need to.
D
Pressure makes diamonds
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
Use your last post as a platform for change the next time you have cravings and feel like giving in. If SR can't help right away, have a back up plan like a walk, a bowl of ice cream, go shopping or get on the Internet for distraction. I'm only on day 14 today, but I can tell you that those cravings will happen early on. You just have to have a plan in place to outsmart them.
I wish you the best.
Good job on getting back on the horse after two days.
I wish you the best.
Good job on getting back on the horse after two days.
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