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Help me put on the armor of sobriety please?

Old 05-23-2015, 12:35 PM
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Help me put on the armor of sobriety please?

today is day 8 for me. That is a big accomplishment. I never make it past day 2. I have a big test tonight though. It is my husbands birthday, and before sobriety I organized a big dinner at his favorite restaurant with all of our favorite drinking friends for tonight . I'm terrified and full of anxiety. I went to a meeting this morning and was feeling really good about being sober. But my emotions are still all over the place and my AV is still actively yelling in my ear. If it were not my husbands birthday, I'd find an excuse to bow out all together. But that's just really not possible this time so I need to find a way to face this and get through this evening without drinking. I can't breathe just thinking about it.
I would so appreciate any words of advice anyone might have to help me stay strong.
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Old 05-23-2015, 12:47 PM
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All the crazy spinny anxiety thoughts will calm down in time if you stay away from drinking.

It's the first drink that you have to avoid.

Just make it through the few hours you will be out. Go outside if it gets to be too much and log into this site on your phone. You can do anything for a few hours. You've got this. I have complete faith in you.
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Old 05-23-2015, 12:58 PM
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Stay focused on your number one aim for the night - not drinking no matter what.

I had an awkward dinner situation last night - got through it (phew), and afterwards realized that no-one, short of pouring it down my throat, can make me drink against my will.

Clutching a class of sparkling water helped too. Literally kept my hand on it/post-dinner coffee after plates were cleared.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:09 PM
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Keeping a glass of n/a drink in my hand the whole time was very helpful to me too. Hope it goes well.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:15 PM
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What would really help in a situation
like this is to have a recovery buddy
to be with you. Someone in recovery
that can be near you so that knowing
they are there with you you both can
support each other while others are
drinking.

This person would not be drinking
alcohol along with you and you both
can give each other strength to make
it to the end.

With this situation and how it is making
you feel, you will know now that you don't
have to place yourself or set yourself up
in a situation where alcohol is present.

Another thing is is to have an outlet. Without
lieing because if you do you would have to return
to make amends, so, if there is a way to go in ur
own car to leave early then do it. What you are
learning to do is take care of urself now that sobriety
is that important to you.

That you will go any lengths to protect it,
your health and peace of mind.

Other folks, family members will probably
not understand and they may get angry
about you taking care of your needs, however,
you remaining sober under any circumstances
is extremely important.

Having a support line, group, someone
that can have your back so that you never
have to face abything in life alone is also
important.

Wearing your recovery armour means
incorporating steps and tools and knowledge
of a recovery program in all areas of your life.
Its wearing willingness, openmindedness
and honesty in all you do to help u avoid
picking up poison and making things worse.

If you can leave early then that would
be perfect for you since you are in early
recovery. Protect your sobriety with your
recovery coat of armour.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:28 PM
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Could you possibly hit another meeting before the event? Might help to refocus you and boost your confidence a little before tackling the dinner.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:33 PM
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With your NA drink in hand, YOU propose the toast! I think you'll feel a sense of camaraderie and accomplishment!
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:33 PM
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One really nice NA drink I've kept on hand in the past is club soda with cranberry or pomegranate juice and a twist of lime, on the rocks. It looks pretty and tastes great. They probably won't even know you're not drinking.

Also, you might think of an excuse or "out" for yourself if you absolutely must get out of there quick.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:35 PM
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It's tough Elliason, but you can do it! Remember that you are not alone in this, how good you will feel lying your head on the pillow sober tonight. I will be thinking of you!
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Old 05-23-2015, 02:14 PM
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You can do this Eliasson! Can't wait to see you check in to the Class of May after you get back home!
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Old 05-23-2015, 04:08 PM
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There are some great tips here for social occasions Eliasson (ignore the title)
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

The thing is, you can do this. I know you can

D
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Old 05-23-2015, 04:31 PM
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Offer to be the designated driver.
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Old 05-23-2015, 07:33 PM
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Thank you all so much. I am home, sober, and ready for bed. Grateful for SR.
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Old 05-23-2015, 07:42 PM
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Eliasson! That is wonderful! What a huge step that is.
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Old 05-24-2015, 02:44 AM
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Good job
Makes the next one and the one after easier...
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Old 05-24-2015, 02:46 AM
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Great going Eliasson

D
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Old 05-24-2015, 02:55 AM
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You can do it. I had a similar experience at a grad party with an open bar. I just shifted my focus to all the good food and time flew by and I did not have any drinks. All the while having a good time.
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Old 05-24-2015, 02:56 AM
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Wow well done.
I find its often the fear of not having an escape route from a social situation that encourages me to drink
That you're home safe and healthy is really good news..
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Old 05-24-2015, 04:02 AM
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Old 05-24-2015, 04:05 AM
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Well done!
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