Seren

I usually never post on threads in Newcomers because I am not an alcoholic or addict…but addiction runs in my family like a thread that binds the generations.

You are not my stepson, but you could be.

When he drinks, he can be cocky and sarcastic “yeah, I got it all under control. It’s all good”.

Or, it is the end of the world “I’m too f’d up to keep going. I’m going to throw myself off the next bridge”.

He frequently posts music lyrics or videos to Facebook thinking he is being clever, witty, and insightful. Unfortunately, no one ever responds to his posts anymore. He has lost most of his friends.

What he posts publicly is also only about ¼ of what he is capable of at his worst. He has threatened to kill 3 members of his own family in the past. He can be a very scary man.

My stepson admitted to a friend in one of his rare, sober, and honest moments that he drinks because it gets the voices in his head to shut up. The voices that tell him he’s a piece of s***.

But he isn’t a POS…covered up by his disease is a good and kind young man. Right now, the alcoholism is winning.

Please don’t let the alcoholism win, Thomas.

ZaBoozer

Well Jeff, I only read this, this morning. Lets cut to the chase shall we? Your wife is away, you use that as an excuse to get hammered. You then feel lonely and get on SR. Your posts then descend into self pity. When you don't get that or don't get enough of it you get obnoxious. Dude, pattern? Can you see it? Any drunk worth their salt has been down that road and can see the pattern.

You grab at song lyrics and try to insinuate that this is your life. Get a grip dude. Do you really understand what this song was about? You are not being intelligent or witty at all.

I am going to tell you this once again - this is your choice. I hope you read this when sober. You have a choice now - **** it all away and lose everything. Trust me, if you go on like this, you will. There are enough posts here on SR from people that have been down that road. What is your end goal? To die alone broke in a gutter?

You are in an unenviable position. You have a wife and kids. A good job and a comfortable life. You have not lost either one yet. Why push them away? Are you not good enough? Not man enough? Work too much for you? Get a grip - that is life. People deal with it every day. Your choice if you want to listen the demon in your head.

You came to SR for something. What is that? There are a lot of people here on this site fighting some addiction or other. They seem to do it with whatever tools they have at hand. Stop skirting the issue and address it.

I hope when you read this that you have the hangover from hell. I hope it pisses you off greatly. I hope that you get so cross that you pour the booze out. Clearly, self pity is not working for you.

We are at the beginning again Jeff. Are you going to start with day one again or are you going to post another obscure lyric trawling for the self pity and loathing that you feel?

Pick up the pieces man and face up to life. It is really not so bad. There are other people out there that have it way worse.

Time to get back on the bicycle mate. Life waits for no man, woman or child.

Cheers,

ZAB

MarathonMan

What zaboozer said, I think he sums it up pretty well. I was where you are 2 months ago full of angsty self pity drunk with sad songs playing on repeat. Its all ********.....i went and got a medical detox when my wife left and am doing 90 meeting in 90 days. Amazingly I said both those things I simply couldnt do, until I did them. Meant with love but please pull your head out and take a good long look around.

anattaboy

May your moment of WTF followed by some clarity come soon Tom.

sva777

If you won't stop drinking for yourself right now which ultimately you need to do please do it for your family and employees. You have responsibilities to deal with, face them as the rest of us do.

sg1970

I see a lot of me 11 months ago in your posts. Pity parties and sad music. The fear of living without alcohol was tremendous yet looking back so unwarranted. Loneliness, fear, anger, resentment, hopelessness, etc... I can't afford to do this or that because of my job, family, etc... Thank God a good friend in recovery called me out on that BS and told me I couldn't afford not to get sober. He told me to put everything else on hold and make it the number one priority. Thanks to him life is completely different today.

Your life can be so much better as well. But you have to make it happen and you can. Everyone here wants you to have what we have but that's as far as we can go is to want it for you and encourage you. You have to step up and be the one to make the changes. Best wishes.

thomas11

Thanks ZAVB, you are much smarter than I. but what you said resonates with me.

thomas11

pity party? sad songs? really? I'm not fine, but I don't agree with some of the responses.

ScottFromWI

You've got a problem to deal with much larger than agreeing or disagreeing with posts. It's pretty clear you aren't agreeable to the advice you've been given in nearly all them as you continue to drink.

There's really not a lot to discuss....you need to stop drinking yet you continue to do so. Do you have any plans to change that anytime soon?

Dee74

I know you don't like some of the responses Jeff but this is the best thread I've seen for a long time.

People want to see you well Jeff - so much so they're even willing to face your anger by giving you the unvarnished truth.

That's a gift man - seriously.

D

thomas11

I got it.

Weaver

I think you crave attention, but your looking for the wrong kind of attention here. By posting obscure , vain threads and responses. Give yourself real attention. Attention to your drinking . Seems as if you maybe be somewhat well off financially ? Check out a rehab facility .

Couldn't hurt . Yeah u can DO this. Just gotta start doing.

sleepie

If you really want attention Thomas, go sober and live to tell about it. I used to drink and come on SR because I was lonely. I am still really lonely but I am trying my best to stay sober and I post and post about it here and I get plenty of responses and it helps the loneliness which helps me stay sober, it's a good cycle.

Nonsensical

Seren, Thank you for that beautiful, loving, heart-breaking post.
I know that voice. I listened to it for25 years before I finally realized it has never told me one true thing. Not one.

CaseyW

Thank you for helping to keep me sober yesterday, thomas11. I hope you have a nice and sober Monday today. Give yourself a break.

DrunkenDonuts

Thanks for posting Thomas. You're helping me remember all the stuff I did when I was drunk.

It strengthens my resolve to remain sober.

Hope you decide to make a plan and execute it.