My husband thinks I don't belong here
 

Hi friends

I have gained a lot of wisdom , support and love here ... I would say 70% of my sobriety is dur to you all ... I explained it to my husband ... He thinks my issue is not alcohol !!

How do I tell him that I need you guys and your are an important part of my recovery ... Not the pills only not the physician only ?

Is he feeling neglected while you are online? My husband is online, mostly Facebook, at the same time so he doesn't complain.

Could be ... Never thought of it ...... I think he is more worried about the social stigma that I am alcoholic ..... He wants to blame on something else

Will I ever have the freedom in my culture to tend to me ?

Whatever works for you works.
If I didn't have SR I would not be sober today.
I am guessing he is feeling left out.
If he is thinking stigma, why?
Know body knows who you are.
We are just all here trying to get and stay sober.

My sobriety is mine and mine alone. I just don't care about what other's think. I am willing to do anything to protect my sobriety. Normal drinkers don't have a clue what an accomplishment staying sober is and I don't expect them to but I have educated the people in my life that what I do to stay sober is non negotiable

I wish I had this confidence

Alcohol was but a symptom to our real problem, a spiritual malady of self-centeredness.

why not tell him just that Cursed?

D

I hope you do what you know is right for yourself.

Confidence is not the right word. I have a fatal disease and if left untreated I will die. If your doctor said you had to lose 100 lbs or you would die would you really care what others thought of the diet you were on? I don't think so.

This is a life and death battle that I have seen far too many lose

Aww, Cursed. The community here is so supportive. I really hope you can find a way to continue receiving this support and taking part. My real life does not afford the availability and breadth of support that SR offers, not by a long shot, as I am sure yours does not as well.

In which culture are you immersed that you are not able to tend to your needs? No pressure to divulge.

Hello:

My husband also was "weirded out" about me being here. For a long time he didn't know that I was posting he thought I just read but one day I got a PM and I got an email notification that he saw... I had a serious conversation with him. You need to communicate, not just talk. Let him know that since this is anonymous place, you feel like you can vent freely and that you think that this is helpful to you.

My hubby is also in denial that I am an alcoholic. There's been times that when I say "I am an alcoholic", he rolls his eyes a bit. remember this is not about them. It's about us. We might not have their support but we have this support.

Yes. I got the you're not an alcoholic. But I am and I don't want to die that way.

Thanks for you post

Dear C.00,

I know how you feel as I have a similar situation in my family. I decided that I don't have to tell my husband anything. I know in the core of my being that I have to stay sober. It doesn't matter what he thinks. I don't have to explain myself, justify my actions, or look for his approval on this. It would be great if our family members supported us in our sobriety, but if they don't, we can still support ourselves and get support from others, like the people at sober recovery.com!

I told me AH that I joined an online group to help me stop drinking. He just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders and grunted. So, now if I'm on the couch and he sits down beside me or looks over my shoulder or walks into the room, i purposely shrug my shoulders and grunt as I turn the computer away from him.

I've had that as well - thing is, he can only judge me on my outsides. Also, he drinks like I used to, so doesn't (or doesn't want to) see a problem.

Thing is, a lot of us are here because we feel the restlessness, irritability and discontentment without our old friend alcohol and we're trying to work past those feelings without going insane. There is loads of mad stuff going round inside that we need to make sense of and live with. What they see on the outside is, 'Well, she's not drinking, she must be fine. Where's the problem?'

My partner changed his attitude a bit after I had a a bit of a breakdown (PAWs / stuff resurfacing / not working my programme properly - whatever). Since then he has seen the difference AA has made to me, and leaves me to it. He occasionally comments that he still doesn't think I was a 'real' alcoholic, but then maybe our definitions are just different. Plus, he doesn't know all the crazy sh*t that I thought; felt and did, and doesn't want to either.

Anyway - he is now (14 month in) more accepting of it. I have learnt to avoid conversations about it once he's had a drink himself though!!

Good luck.

I am going to continue here ... This is the only place I feel motivated in my goal... Would have been great if he supported though. And I know I am an alcoholic, even if he is in denial.

I was in denial about my own problem for decades, and I was living it more personally than anyone else. I can't really fault other people for not getting it just because I finally did.

Sometimes people come around in time.

Best of Luck on Your Journey! :ring

Tell him this:

"Some guy on that forum says that it's the only thing that has ever gotten him sober."

And that's all I am-some guy.

Why in the hell do you think I came back after 5 years?