Yep....drunk and,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by silentrun 
Jeff, are you REALLY going to drink for 10 days? Is there someone you can who can help you? I am really worried for you.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: ny
Posts: 156
The so called bottom I don't know really what that is I have been bouncing off of it for 3 years.I am only sober 40 days but I had a moment after blowing a 4.6 in the hospital,I don't want to be in the pain that we cause ourselves.It is a slow intentional end.The first time I left rehab,great place thought I was good 5 minutes out the gate I had a quart,I had it planned but I didn't know it,and flew my family to cali to meet me at disny didn't go well,but I had it all planned out .I have a similar event coming up like your wife going away.Have a place in fire island,it is party central.The house is already paid for,I am not going because I am not ready for that situation.I know exactly where you are I think,its easy for me to say get people around you keep busy when she isn't there.Yes those things are great but you will have to deal with the fact that we need to not say **** it,that is my fav excuse..What gets me through bad moments is thinking of the horror and the mind bending pain drinking will cause me,yes me we need to be selfish...I wish you the best
If you want something you never had,you need to try something you have never done.
If you want something you never had,you need to try something you have never done.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by thomas11
I might be a little different case here on this site.
Ok your wife is away for ten days: what could you do -- say around the house -- which would occupy you productively and maybe give her a wonderful surprise?
I hope today is a better day for you.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
[QUOTE=thomas11;5383408]Really? can you elaborate on that?[/QUOTE
You wrote this--->" Very close to saying adios motherf*ckers or trying to capture all the crap that has become my life. Its a coin flip at this point."<---
That is why you aren't "fine" my friend.
You seem to be headed down a self destructive road soon (when your wife leaves especially ) and you go from posting that you are essentially in dire need to "being fine"
I've lived this desperate cycle before. It sucks. Do whatever it is in your power to NOT drink and set yourself up for an inevitable failure when your wife leaves.
Get the ball in motion now. You can do this.
Quit drinking.
You wrote this--->" Very close to saying adios motherf*ckers or trying to capture all the crap that has become my life. Its a coin flip at this point."<---
That is why you aren't "fine" my friend.
You seem to be headed down a self destructive road soon (when your wife leaves especially ) and you go from posting that you are essentially in dire need to "being fine"
I've lived this desperate cycle before. It sucks. Do whatever it is in your power to NOT drink and set yourself up for an inevitable failure when your wife leaves.
Get the ball in motion now. You can do this.
Quit drinking.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,890
Originally Posted by thomas11
i ain't (i know poor grammar) pouring it out. I'm fine.
When your balance sheet is complete you'll see why you're not fine.
Be well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Originally Posted by thomas11
Very close to saying adios motherf*ckers or trying to capture all the crap that has become my life. Its a coin flip at this point.
not looking for attention. Just a realistic look at my future.
not looking for attention. Just a realistic look at my future.
If not for attention, then why post? Do you also send texts and e-mails with the sole purpose of no one ever opening and reading them?
If you enjoy the drink, why talk about it on a recovery forum? Probably not the best venue for it. It's like writing that bread is ******* great on a celiac disease site.
In general, I know a person who left SR because he got enormous amounts of flak on account of relapsing. Reading this thread - 20 people are supportive during the ACTUAL act of drinking and the OP person is simply pissing on this support.
Get a grip, man, and stop drinking. It's not going very well for you so far. Ridiculous
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,931
This cycle from the grandiose to the morose is exactly why it is so painful for my husband to talk to his son on the phone when he is drunk--which happened just this past Wednesday.
I'm sorry for the morning you are probably having, thomas. I hope you will believe you deserve recovery soon.
I'm sorry for the morning you are probably having, thomas. I hope you will believe you deserve recovery soon.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,099
Thomas I hope you wake up today an realize the truth, you can go on liquoring yourself up every day your wife is gone and ultimately be miserable, or you can be strong and decide you would like to live without the pain and regret drinking brings.
I am sorry I do not have any support for someone who wants to drink and full well knows it is bad for them and constantly posts about it. The reason I came here was support to help me quit not keep on going down the dark ugly slow death path for alcoholism.
I am sorry I do not have any support for someone who wants to drink and full well knows it is bad for them and constantly posts about it. The reason I came here was support to help me quit not keep on going down the dark ugly slow death path for alcoholism.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
C'mon back Tom. I made it back. So can you. I'm not gonna lie, I had to do it till it hurt physically again--only took a few weeks but I drank a few more anyway--Ludicrous!. Oh yeah, I really wish I could erase all my drunk posts (plenty have been by mods for their meanness and idiocy) from the past month but I need to see them for now. I was posting for pity and just acting out--crazy. Hell, I even got banned from this site for a week. There is no reason to post drunk but I did. Good for me to look at right now. Peace buddy.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 118,616
We do care, Jeff, very much.
Please remember that, as much as we care, we are still a bunch of recovering alcoholics. We 'see' and know when one of us are in trouble; we know the warning signs.
Please pour out whatever is left and don't replace it.
Please treat yourself with kindness and respect; you deserve it; you deserve every bit of it.
Sending love.
Please remember that, as much as we care, we are still a bunch of recovering alcoholics. We 'see' and know when one of us are in trouble; we know the warning signs.
Please pour out whatever is left and don't replace it.
Please treat yourself with kindness and respect; you deserve it; you deserve every bit of it.
Sending love.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
I mean no disrespect but you knew this was going to happen for quite awhile. Did you even try to make a plan to avoid it? Or was your only plan to just let it happen? There is nothing that makes you unique you are a drunk just like the rest of us.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Della1968
I mean no disrespect but you knew this was going to happen for quite awhile. Did you even try to make a plan to avoid it? Or was your only plan to just let it happen? There is nothing that makes you unique you are a drunk just like the rest of us.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,239
Originally Posted by thomas11
"it took me almost dying a few times to finally say I do want to see my kids tomorrow."
and this is what keeps from believing that I am not a lost cause.
and this is what keeps from believing that I am not a lost cause.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,239
Originally Posted by thomas11
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