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Old 05-21-2015, 11:11 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Hope you can change your mind Thomas. You aren't fine.
Really? can you elaborate on that?
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Old 05-21-2015, 11:14 PM
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Originally Posted by silentrun View Post
Jeff, are you REALLY going to drink for 10 days? Is there someone you can who can help you? I am really worried for you.
No Silentrun, I am not going to drink for 1 0 days straight. But thank you for asking. At some point, maybe we should meet. You are not far from me.
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Old 05-21-2015, 11:22 PM
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"it took me almost dying a few times to finally say I do want to see my kids tomorrow."

and this is what keeps from believing that I am not a lost cause.
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Old 05-21-2015, 11:41 PM
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The so called bottom I don't know really what that is I have been bouncing off of it for 3 years.I am only sober 40 days but I had a moment after blowing a 4.6 in the hospital,I don't want to be in the pain that we cause ourselves.It is a slow intentional end.The first time I left rehab,great place thought I was good 5 minutes out the gate I had a quart,I had it planned but I didn't know it,and flew my family to cali to meet me at disny didn't go well,but I had it all planned out .I have a similar event coming up like your wife going away.Have a place in fire island,it is party central.The house is already paid for,I am not going because I am not ready for that situation.I know exactly where you are I think,its easy for me to say get people around you keep busy when she isn't there.Yes those things are great but you will have to deal with the fact that we need to not say **** it,that is my fav excuse..What gets me through bad moments is thinking of the horror and the mind bending pain drinking will cause me,yes me we need to be selfish...I wish you the best


If you want something you never had,you need to try something you have never done.
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Old 05-22-2015, 01:26 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
I might be a little different case here on this site.
Thomas I'll guarantee that each one of us has an AV that has told us we are each 'a different case'. We're not. In terms of our addiction we are the same which is why the support and experience we give each other rings so true. We people here know what addiction feels like and how it makes us behave.

Ok your wife is away for ten days: what could you do -- say around the house -- which would occupy you productively and maybe give her a wonderful surprise?

I hope today is a better day for you.
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Old 05-22-2015, 02:58 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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[QUOTE=thomas11;5383408]Really? can you elaborate on that?[/QUOTE


You wrote this--->" Very close to saying adios motherf*ckers or trying to capture all the crap that has become my life. Its a coin flip at this point."<---

That is why you aren't "fine" my friend.






You seem to be headed down a self destructive road soon (when your wife leaves especially ) and you go from posting that you are essentially in dire need to "being fine"

I've lived this desperate cycle before. It sucks. Do whatever it is in your power to NOT drink and set yourself up for an inevitable failure when your wife leaves.

Get the ball in motion now. You can do this.
Quit drinking.
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Old 05-22-2015, 04:47 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
Really? can you elaborate on that?
When you wake up this morning and read it should be pretty clear for you.
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Old 05-22-2015, 04:55 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
i ain't (i know poor grammar) pouring it out. I'm fine.
Put your risk-reward analysis on paper. List out all of the risks you are taking so that you can sneak drunks while your wife is away and compare them to the actual rewards you are receiving from this activity.

When your balance sheet is complete you'll see why you're not fine.

Be well.
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Old 05-22-2015, 05:03 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
Very close to saying adios motherf*ckers or trying to capture all the crap that has become my life. Its a coin flip at this point.

not looking for attention. Just a realistic look at my future.
Knowing full well that reading this thread from start to finish was my own choice, I cannot help but be angry. I understand that either all or most of the posts by the OP person were PUI - posting under the influence, some things need to be clearly pointed out, I reckon. For a morning read and accountability, if nothing else.

If not for attention, then why post? Do you also send texts and e-mails with the sole purpose of no one ever opening and reading them?

If you enjoy the drink, why talk about it on a recovery forum? Probably not the best venue for it. It's like writing that bread is ******* great on a celiac disease site.

In general, I know a person who left SR because he got enormous amounts of flak on account of relapsing. Reading this thread - 20 people are supportive during the ACTUAL act of drinking and the OP person is simply pissing on this support.

Get a grip, man, and stop drinking. It's not going very well for you so far. Ridiculous
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Old 05-22-2015, 05:08 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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This cycle from the grandiose to the morose is exactly why it is so painful for my husband to talk to his son on the phone when he is drunk--which happened just this past Wednesday.

I'm sorry for the morning you are probably having, thomas. I hope you will believe you deserve recovery soon.
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Old 05-22-2015, 05:21 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Thomas I hope you wake up today an realize the truth, you can go on liquoring yourself up every day your wife is gone and ultimately be miserable, or you can be strong and decide you would like to live without the pain and regret drinking brings.

I am sorry I do not have any support for someone who wants to drink and full well knows it is bad for them and constantly posts about it. The reason I came here was support to help me quit not keep on going down the dark ugly slow death path for alcoholism.
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Old 05-22-2015, 05:41 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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C'mon back Tom. I made it back. So can you. I'm not gonna lie, I had to do it till it hurt physically again--only took a few weeks but I drank a few more anyway--Ludicrous!. Oh yeah, I really wish I could erase all my drunk posts (plenty have been by mods for their meanness and idiocy) from the past month but I need to see them for now. I was posting for pity and just acting out--crazy. Hell, I even got banned from this site for a week. There is no reason to post drunk but I did. Good for me to look at right now. Peace buddy.
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:06 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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I'm not going to start a new thread for this but: jeezus christ, you guys care more about me... than ME! I'm a big boy, I'll be fine.
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:15 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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We do care, Jeff, very much.

Please remember that, as much as we care, we are still a bunch of recovering alcoholics. We 'see' and know when one of us are in trouble; we know the warning signs.

Please pour out whatever is left and don't replace it.

Please treat yourself with kindness and respect; you deserve it; you deserve every bit of it.

Sending love.
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:26 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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I mean no disrespect but you knew this was going to happen for quite awhile. Did you even try to make a plan to avoid it? Or was your only plan to just let it happen? There is nothing that makes you unique you are a drunk just like the rest of us.
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:27 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Della1968 View Post
I mean no disrespect but you knew this was going to happen for quite awhile. Did you even try to make a plan to avoid it? Or was your only plan to just let it happen? There is nothing that makes you unique you are a drunk just like the rest of us.
did I make a plan? nope. Do I want sympathy? nope.
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:31 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
"it took me almost dying a few times to finally say I do want to see my kids tomorrow."

and this is what keeps from believing that I am not a lost cause.
We do care about you. We can also see how much danger you are actually in. It is left threatening. It is almost impossible for an active user to grasp that.
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:41 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FrOQC-zEog
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
I can't post a link but I will reply with the Pink Floyd song that ran through my mind the moment I saw it. Run like Hell!!
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Old 05-22-2015, 06:51 AM
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Originally Posted by silentrun View Post
I can't post a link but I will reply with the Pink Floyd song that ran through my mind the moment I saw it. Run like Hell!!
When he posts music, it means he's drinking.
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