Yep....drunk and,
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,581
Thomas, dump the booze, get some rest and start anew tomorrow. We can help you formulate a plan when you log back in.
Also make sure you turn off your phone and your computer so you don't make an ass of yourself on social media, drunk dial people or send out drunk emails and texts.
You know there is hope and you can have a good life but it starts with putting down the drink now.
You can do it.
Also make sure you turn off your phone and your computer so you don't make an ass of yourself on social media, drunk dial people or send out drunk emails and texts.
You know there is hope and you can have a good life but it starts with putting down the drink now.
You can do it.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by thomas11 
I might be a little different case here on this site. In the past, things have been very dark, which is what brought me to this site. Things are no longer dark, I just enjoy a drink or two now and then. But I know its not "right". Please understand, I am not in a dark place or think things are bad. I'm just drinking a little. Things are actually quite good.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,581
You've got 10 whole days alone - they could very possibly be the worst of your life if you don't kick this to the curb now.
You tripped but you don't have to fall down on your face you know. Let us catch you and support you it's really your call and I hope you will chose hope.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Originally Posted by thomas11
Things are no longer dark, I just enjoy a drink or two now and then.
So are you enjoying a drink or two or are you drunk like your first post said?
I don't know a lot of alcoholics that get drunk from one drink...
I say pour it out and come back tomorrow to start a new run at it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,712
The crossroads is before you Jeff...more of the same, gradually getting worse......
or a new way with a new but unknown outcome - but every chance of being the man you want to be?
Not a coin toss - it's a lot deeper than that.
You need to really commit to one road.
D.
or a new way with a new but unknown outcome - but every chance of being the man you want to be?
Not a coin toss - it's a lot deeper than that.
You need to really commit to one road.
D.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,712
There's nothing wrong with me today - worry about yourself Jeff.
You may not even consciously realise it yet, but it looks like you're setting your self up for an extended session while your wife is away....
D
You may not even consciously realise it yet, but it looks like you're setting your self up for an extended session while your wife is away....
D
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,678
From May 10:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5363862
Your insisting that you're "okay" and "fine" only makes you appear to be more desperate. And you haven't been "noisy on this site" either, unless you were referring to your attempt at convincing people that you're enjoying yourself.
Stop drinking.
Originally Posted by thomas11
My wife is leaving to California for 10 days on the 20th of this month. I have to stay home and run my business. The last time she left me alone, was 2 winters ago and I tried my hardest to kill myself with alcohol. It was horrible and it changed my life. I do not want to repeat that. But left alone to my own vices I am not sure I can 100% guarantee I will be ok. I can say with 90% confidence I should be fine. But that's not 100. I will likely be "noisy" on this site during those 10 days. I have to. I cannot have another episode like I did in winter of 2013.
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
Some thoughts...Without criticizing or making accusations. Given your current state, it may help to think about what may be going on from another perspective. I'm on intimate terms with alcoholic thinking, as are many others here, and I'm motivated to share with you what I know.
The timing of your intense cravings was no accident. It's clear that you're already anticipating your wife's being away within the context of being uncertain of whether or not you'll drink during that time, and you may not be able to wait another ten days to start. Uncertainty has its cost, particularly when picking up the drink has been our go-to solution when we're unsure of ourselves.
"Getting away with" drinking seems to be a large part of your MO. When no one's around, when your wife's asleep...What's missing from your current plan to stay sober? And what plans have you made to stay sober while your wife's away? It's a good thing that you reached out on SR before you drank, but many people have done the same with devastating results, a kind of setting up their relapse by issuing a public warning in advance...Code for something along the lines of, "See? I told you I was going to drink!"
You want to drink. You made this clear in your thread. Call it the AV or anything else that makes sense to you but, ultimately, it's you, me and anyone else who picks up the drink who is/are responsible for what we do. Claiming that "The AV was too strong" or that "I'm too weak/not ready/caved in" or any other rationalization is not enough. If I acted on every destructive impulse I've had, I'd likely be dead or in prison. Alternatively, if I surrendered to the idea that "I'm too weak" or "not ready" to do the things that give my life meaning, if I ran away from life's challenges out of fear, I'd be a miserable mess of a human being with nothing to show for the time I've spent on this planet.
Your cravings have apparently passed. There is no better time to start building a plan that will help keep you safe for the rest of today and down the line.
The timing of your intense cravings was no accident. It's clear that you're already anticipating your wife's being away within the context of being uncertain of whether or not you'll drink during that time, and you may not be able to wait another ten days to start. Uncertainty has its cost, particularly when picking up the drink has been our go-to solution when we're unsure of ourselves.
"Getting away with" drinking seems to be a large part of your MO. When no one's around, when your wife's asleep...What's missing from your current plan to stay sober? And what plans have you made to stay sober while your wife's away? It's a good thing that you reached out on SR before you drank, but many people have done the same with devastating results, a kind of setting up their relapse by issuing a public warning in advance...Code for something along the lines of, "See? I told you I was going to drink!"
You want to drink. You made this clear in your thread. Call it the AV or anything else that makes sense to you but, ultimately, it's you, me and anyone else who picks up the drink who is/are responsible for what we do. Claiming that "The AV was too strong" or that "I'm too weak/not ready/caved in" or any other rationalization is not enough. If I acted on every destructive impulse I've had, I'd likely be dead or in prison. Alternatively, if I surrendered to the idea that "I'm too weak" or "not ready" to do the things that give my life meaning, if I ran away from life's challenges out of fear, I'd be a miserable mess of a human being with nothing to show for the time I've spent on this planet.
Your cravings have apparently passed. There is no better time to start building a plan that will help keep you safe for the rest of today and down the line.
Your insisting that you're "okay" and "fine" only makes you appear to be more desperate. And you haven't been "noisy on this site" either, unless you were referring to your attempt at convincing people that you're enjoying yourself.
Stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Hey there Thomas,
Well it sounds like you are trying to convince us and/or yourself that you can handle the booze. I am not going to "preach" to you, but we all know where this is going this early in sobriety. It will become a full blown pissup. You will feel worse and so it goes.
Time to get back on that bicycle mate. If you can do this while your wife is away - imagine how much easier it will be to cope with other situations. Not too late yet chap, pour the booze down the sink - you know you have to and get back on the bike.
Cheers,
ZAB
Well it sounds like you are trying to convince us and/or yourself that you can handle the booze. I am not going to "preach" to you, but we all know where this is going this early in sobriety. It will become a full blown pissup. You will feel worse and so it goes.
Time to get back on that bicycle mate. If you can do this while your wife is away - imagine how much easier it will be to cope with other situations. Not too late yet chap, pour the booze down the sink - you know you have to and get back on the bike.
Cheers,
ZAB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Originally Posted by thomas11
I might be a little different case here on this site. In the past, things have been very dark, which is what brought me to this site. Things are no longer dark, I just enjoy a drink or two now and then. But I know its not "right". Please understand, I am not in a dark place or think things are bad. I'm just drinking a little. Things are actually quite good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by ZaBoozer
Hey there Thomas,
Well it sounds like you are trying to convince us and/or yourself that you can handle the booze. I am not going to "preach" to you, but we all know where this is going this early in sobriety. It will become a full blown pissup. You will feel worse and so it goes.
Time to get back on that bicycle mate. If you can do this while your wife is away - imagine how much easier it will be to cope with other situations. Not too late yet chap, pour the booze down the sink - you know you have to and get back on the bike.
Cheers,
ZAB
Well it sounds like you are trying to convince us and/or yourself that you can handle the booze. I am not going to "preach" to you, but we all know where this is going this early in sobriety. It will become a full blown pissup. You will feel worse and so it goes.
Time to get back on that bicycle mate. If you can do this while your wife is away - imagine how much easier it will be to cope with other situations. Not too late yet chap, pour the booze down the sink - you know you have to and get back on the bike.
Cheers,
ZAB
ps. I am a dog guy, but I already love your cats next to the fire.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Carlotta
Thomas, dump the booze, get some rest and start anew tomorrow. We can help you formulate a plan when you log back in.
Also make sure you turn off your phone and your computer so you don't make an ass of yourself on social media, drunk dial people or send out drunk emails and texts.
You know there is hope and you can have a good life but it starts with putting down the drink now.
You can do it.
Also make sure you turn off your phone and your computer so you don't make an ass of yourself on social media, drunk dial people or send out drunk emails and texts.
You know there is hope and you can have a good life but it starts with putting down the drink now.
You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Dee74
There's nothing wrong with me today - worry about yourself Jeff.
You may not even consciously realise it yet, but it looks like you're setting your self up for an extended session while your wife is away....
D
You may not even consciously realise it yet, but it looks like you're setting your self up for an extended session while your wife is away....
D
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: ny
Posts: 156
I can just speak to my situation,got off a bender aprox 6 months of 900 to 1000 oz of vodks a month.Throught the years [im 48] I fooled myself into thinking I could just have a few or taper off...******** for me.For some of us we cant pick up again and it took me almost dying a few times to finally say I do want to see my kids tomorrow.So when I was in a stupor and feeling like I don't want the pain anymore I remind myself its just a moment,like a nice massage it is fleeting and that feeling will be gone .Right now I feel like im walking across a canyon on a razorblade edge with ice skates on....this will pass and in no time hopefully better thoughts.Hang in there....btw im aprox 40 something days without drinking
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