lauracarres

Im heart broken right now more than ever. My husband had a drug problem back in his early school years and then we both met while we were active duty. He got out because he got a DUI (his second) , he went back to Mi and was sentenced to 3 days in jail and probation for 9 months. Im here stationed in hawaii, we have maintained a long distance marriage every so often seeing each other. His probation requirements were no drinking, going to bars or anything. Being home after one month he changed completely. drinking, going to bars and he has been cheating on me since he got home. I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago and he is out of control. he's been so mean and evil, I found out he has cheated on me with multiple women on craigslist ads, dating sites just so many things. He's been drinking and now i have found out that he's been doing drugs, painkillers, shrooms and from others they have mentioned cocaine. he is a completely different person. When I confronted him about the drugs he just went all crazy angry that I brought it up to his father (Here's the twist his family knew about the cheating long before I found out, they had already suspected drugs because he's so moody and angry and secretive) he told me he hates me, he doesn't love me, wants a divorce, to have an abortion, he denies all drug use. He's on this dating sites still. Ive never felt so alone, its the worst feeling i have right now. I've been dealing with his emotional and verbal abuse for so long, I had thoughts of him cheating before and he'd deny them, call me emotion or crazy or say How do I know you're not doing it. Its been horrible. He says he doesn't need help, I'm lost. so lost right now. please help if ouve been on his end or my end. please.right now we are not talking and I quit sending him money and took him off my phone plan its hard I'm just so upset, he's acting like everything is fine and is just doing everything cheating and what not talking to other women, no remorse and still doing what he did except now not secret about it. Its hard right now.

least

Welcome to the SR family. I'm sorry for the situation you're in right now. It sounds like your husband can't be counted on for any help at all. Can you get your own place? If it were me, I'd file for divorce, given the cheating he's done. I'd also get tested for STDs.

Can you call a domestic violence hotline? You need help and they might be able to point you in the right direction.

SoberLeigh

This guy does not sound like a good or worthy life-partner or father, lauracarres. You have employment, a home, a child on the way and a life to be lived; try to make plans that center around and focus on those terrific positives.

Welcome to SR; I am so sorry for what brings you here.

Ruby2

Hi, and welcome to SR. Please check out the family and friends of substance abusers for more specific help and support.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm sure you feel alone in this. My husband is an addict/alcoholic and it sure is a lonely thing to be married to someone with an active addiction.

Please take care of yourself. Reach out for support around you. I know it's hard not to but try to distance yourself from him for the time being until you process what is going on. It shouldn't be that hard to do if he is in Michigan and you are in Hawaii.

Be well.

saoutchik

That's tough laura and completely understandable that you are upset but I would echo what others have said.

I know you are stationed in Hawaii but is that where you home is? I ask because you want to make sure your husband has no claim on any property that you own

Anna

I'm sorry for your situation.

Since you have a baby coming, it sounds like you need to make some decisions about the best way to deal with this. This man doesn't sound like he would be a good provider or father to your child and he is abusive to you, so please take the steps you need to take care of yourself and your baby-to-be.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

Venecia

Hi, Laura,

I'm so sorry you're hurting. Your husband does not sound like someone with whom a safe, happy future is feasible. Ever.

Take care of yourself. Depending on your personal perspectives, you do have options regarding whether to continue this pregnancy.

There is a good Friends & Family section here on SR, too. Can you look into counseling services offered by the military?

Soberwolf

Hi Lauracarres nice to meet you sorry for what brings you here i would definatly follow the advice being given

https://www.womenshelters.org/sta/hawaii

Domestic Violence Services

Dee74

Some great advice here Laura - I'm glad you've found us