Hump Day?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Hump Day?
Hump Day. What is it? It’s that day of the week, for the normal American workforce at least, that signifies the middle of the week or hump. Similar I suppose to the middle agers who at one point say they are over the hill. We start the climb at the beginning of the week and start to wind down halfway through it.
There are those of us who don’t have a regular M-F job so hump day is really not part of our existence.
Either every day is hump day or it’s just another day.
Then there are those who are struggling with getting over their dependence on alcohol. For them, every day is hump day. Every day is a struggle. All they are hoping to do is to get over the hump and make it through the day. Every one of us has experienced that hump. As you go through your day, think about the things you did to get you over that hump.
Tell us what YOU did to get you through your ALCOHOLIC HUMP DAYS.
What tools did you use? For me, during my year of “firsts” when I had the strong urge to drink I would take a break from what I was doing and log on SR. I either just read, or posted that I was having a difficult time. Some people take in an extra meeting or call someone, a sponsor or a friend. People learn the “urge surfing” technique. Some people meditate. Some people just change their surroundings. There are a number of ways to get over that daily hump.
Share with us the things you did to get you over the hump. Post a link or share something that helped you. Was it a poem, a prayer, a song or a reading from a book? Share!
And newcomers, tell us about how you are dealing with that hump on a daily basis. Keep at it. Keep working and do whatever it takes to get over the hump. You hear folks saying that it gets better. It does. And once you make it over the hump you begin to realize how the early struggle was well worth it.
Some get over the hump with ease. But for some it is a difficult climb. Don’t give up – NEVER GIVE UP.
Get over that hump and meet me on the other side. You can do it.
Happy Hump Day!
There are those of us who don’t have a regular M-F job so hump day is really not part of our existence.
Either every day is hump day or it’s just another day.
Then there are those who are struggling with getting over their dependence on alcohol. For them, every day is hump day. Every day is a struggle. All they are hoping to do is to get over the hump and make it through the day. Every one of us has experienced that hump. As you go through your day, think about the things you did to get you over that hump.
Tell us what YOU did to get you through your ALCOHOLIC HUMP DAYS.
What tools did you use? For me, during my year of “firsts” when I had the strong urge to drink I would take a break from what I was doing and log on SR. I either just read, or posted that I was having a difficult time. Some people take in an extra meeting or call someone, a sponsor or a friend. People learn the “urge surfing” technique. Some people meditate. Some people just change their surroundings. There are a number of ways to get over that daily hump.
Share with us the things you did to get you over the hump. Post a link or share something that helped you. Was it a poem, a prayer, a song or a reading from a book? Share!
And newcomers, tell us about how you are dealing with that hump on a daily basis. Keep at it. Keep working and do whatever it takes to get over the hump. You hear folks saying that it gets better. It does. And once you make it over the hump you begin to realize how the early struggle was well worth it.
Some get over the hump with ease. But for some it is a difficult climb. Don’t give up – NEVER GIVE UP.
Get over that hump and meet me on the other side. You can do it.
Happy Hump Day!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
What got me over the hump was acceptance of my alcoholism. For many years I tried to fight the hump by pretending it didn't exist. I tried every form of moderation/controlling my drinking that existed, and I even made up some of my own. In the end, though, the hump of addiction always returned, and it got bigger and bigger every time.
By accepting my addiction, I mean that I recognized that there is something inherently different about how my brain reacts to alcohol. It doesn't allow me to drink "just a few" or "just to relax". Many, many attempts to prove otherwise have proven to me that this is simply the case. There is no logical reason WHY my brain works this way, and I accept that there most likely never will be. It just IS that way and there is nothing I ( or anyone ) can do to change it.
By accepting my addiction, I mean that I recognized that there is something inherently different about how my brain reacts to alcohol. It doesn't allow me to drink "just a few" or "just to relax". Many, many attempts to prove otherwise have proven to me that this is simply the case. There is no logical reason WHY my brain works this way, and I accept that there most likely never will be. It just IS that way and there is nothing I ( or anyone ) can do to change it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Happy hump day! Well, timely topic as I was putting a lot of thought this morning into what I did when I was first quitting the second time around and was faced with an entire week off of work, kids in school all day, whooee!!! Party!!!
Not so much. I knew I wanted to stop. Knew that there would be temptation to fill those empty hours with drinking. I made plans. Bright and early Monday morning I got the kids to school. My mother came over for the day. She didn't know she was babysit my fledgling sobriety, she was there to help me finish painting my daughters bedroom. We did it.
Day two. AA meeting. Kept busy. And so on. I kept occupied. Ultimately I did drink two last nights, but I stayed sober that entire week in November and my sobriety date is December 1, 2013. It gets easier. But just because I have time, doesn't mean I take not drinking for granted. Just because I didn't drink yesterday doesn't mean I won't drink today. It's less likely because I work at it but it's still fragile and still one day at a time. I wasn't ever a joiner, I joined here and you can see by the number of posts I have that I'm quite active. I started periodically attending AA meetings and made two connections that I can text for good and bad. They're friends now who support me. I make myself do these things EVERY DAY even if I don't feel like it because I drank every day. Small price to pay for a better life.
Thank you my friend Brain. Happy hump day!
Not so much. I knew I wanted to stop. Knew that there would be temptation to fill those empty hours with drinking. I made plans. Bright and early Monday morning I got the kids to school. My mother came over for the day. She didn't know she was babysit my fledgling sobriety, she was there to help me finish painting my daughters bedroom. We did it.
Day two. AA meeting. Kept busy. And so on. I kept occupied. Ultimately I did drink two last nights, but I stayed sober that entire week in November and my sobriety date is December 1, 2013. It gets easier. But just because I have time, doesn't mean I take not drinking for granted. Just because I didn't drink yesterday doesn't mean I won't drink today. It's less likely because I work at it but it's still fragile and still one day at a time. I wasn't ever a joiner, I joined here and you can see by the number of posts I have that I'm quite active. I started periodically attending AA meetings and made two connections that I can text for good and bad. They're friends now who support me. I make myself do these things EVERY DAY even if I don't feel like it because I drank every day. Small price to pay for a better life.
Thank you my friend Brain. Happy hump day!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I got over the hump when I began to truly believe that life was better as a sober person. Took about a year of sobriety to get to that point! As a newcomer to sobriety, you hear a lot of people saying "life is so much better" and "I have so many improvements in my life", etc, etc. I tried to parrot these statements, but it felt hollow. I still felt that what I was missing with alcohol outweighed my gains in sobriety.
At some point, the scales tipped the other direction. It was so gradual I didn't even know it. Little things started to add up. One day I looked at my new life, compared it to my old one, and was pleasantly surprised to know that I made the right choice. I got over the hump and truly believed that life was better for me without booze.
That knowledge gets me over the periodic cravings and temptations. I know that life is better without booze. If I get the hankering for a drink, I can lay out the facts - they don't lie. The only thing I'm missing out on is falling off barstools. I can live with the tradeoff.
At some point, the scales tipped the other direction. It was so gradual I didn't even know it. Little things started to add up. One day I looked at my new life, compared it to my old one, and was pleasantly surprised to know that I made the right choice. I got over the hump and truly believed that life was better for me without booze.
That knowledge gets me over the periodic cravings and temptations. I know that life is better without booze. If I get the hankering for a drink, I can lay out the facts - they don't lie. The only thing I'm missing out on is falling off barstools. I can live with the tradeoff.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I think I got over the big hump the day I decided to do something about my alcoholism. I made a phone call to interview for an IOP program. I think that act alone was me reaching out to save myself. They even had to fudge a little on my app and pull some strings to get me in! Baffling really, because I knew and the intake person knew I needed to be there. I didn't look quite "bad enough" on paper or in person, lol. Oh, but I was certainly bad off enough 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Well, I am one of those who does not really have hump days in my weekly schedule and I've lived/worked this way in my whole life beyond school days. I've really tried to change this in sobriety, to something that involves more routine and a more "set" schedule, but it just never sticks. But of course I had those humps in early sobriety, and many of them did not feel like humps at all, much more like the Rockies or the Alps or whatever continent we prefer. One thing I would point out is that I see (at least) two different types of challenges with getting through the humps: (1) the physical type urges that just come and dissipate on a daily basis, and (2) a larger construct when we are not ready to give up the drinking lifestyle and feel miserable and helpless trying to stay sober, or even with the thought of long term sobriety. I think I only experienced the first kind, so I will discuss that.
For me, there were a few stages of all this.
In the very beginning (first month or so) I mostly used substitute effects and avoidance to get through the hill, like eating a good meal, or a variety of distractions such as spending a lot of time in places that were incompatible with drinking for me (I really only went home to sleep more or less). As much as I typically rely on my own mental perception and power, I had zero trust in possibly using purely cognitive tools such as AVRT or urge surfing in the beginning. Probably because in previous years, these kinds of approaches without doing anything else failed me miserably such that I could not even stay sober for 3 days. I had no problem recognizing the thought patterns and the triggers, but my desire to drink was so strong, I could not isolate it no matter what level of awareness. Why I used these more "physical" approaches to keep me safe from my own mind initially.
I also used negative reinforcement a lot in early sobriety... mostly the intense dread I had of relapsing. It's interesting that many people say the relapse posts and misery tend to affect them in a negative and discouraging way. For me, initially, these and the critical (even at times angry and heated) comments were the most helpful, to keep my awareness constantly focused on where I don't want to go. It's not a "nice" way of self protection, but was tremendously helpful for me. At that point, I was also more and more easily able to use purely cognitive tools to get through my urges, such as "playing the tape through". Being anxiety prone really played to my advantage during that phase, I think.
Then there was the time, after maybe 3-4 months, when I was was still fearful enough (good way to not get complacent), but also more grounded in sobriety, so I started putting a lot of thought into what I wanted to do with my sober life. What sort of longer term goals to set, and how to work towards them. This was definitely the most fun and productive phase and, I figured, also very much my sober nature. Something interesting in this context (how it often works for me) is that I realized I was using a classic psychological mechanism for this, something that I am very prone to by default so it's automatic I often don't even recognize at first. It's called displacement. Google if not familiar. There is another buzz word for it that describes what I do more closely as they defined it, but I like displacement better, more graphic and meaningful. Basically, dealing with negative feelings, including destructive motivations such as the desire to drink and isolate, by projecting it into a less harmful or harmless act. Or, preferentially, constructive and useful act. I've always done tons of this in my life with many things... for example, my entire professional life is the result of this, I think. I know that I tend to have a very powerful internal drive, which often borders on obsessions (or generates obsessions) with whatever I am interested in and desire. So, instead of drinking or even entertaining the thought of drinking, I start to ponder what else I want to do with my intense desires. What do I desire to explore? Then it's more like a bit of cost-benefit assessment, and if positive, I try to turn it into a practical strategy and work towards it. And each time the thought of drinking comes up, I remind myself of these goals and my mind usually gets tuned with it quickly -- jee this is really what I want, not a drink. So the urge to drink is "displaced" into something else to wish for and work for. What this requires though, I think, is a good level of sane judgment and decisiveness, why it's unlikely to work in the very early stage of sobriety when most of us are a hot mess and a battlefield internally.
These are what came to mind immediately. I realize that I did not rely on a lot of direct external help to fight my urges to drink except occasionally talking about them on SR, but the above methods were absolutely crucial, and also everything I've read and contributed to here on this board: the daily interactions (on the public board or privately), the awareness that there are thousands of people here and in the world that fight the same dilemmas everyday, the acceptance that this is how addiction works and I need to get through the rough patches somehow otherwise I'll never be free... all these.
For me, there were a few stages of all this.
In the very beginning (first month or so) I mostly used substitute effects and avoidance to get through the hill, like eating a good meal, or a variety of distractions such as spending a lot of time in places that were incompatible with drinking for me (I really only went home to sleep more or less). As much as I typically rely on my own mental perception and power, I had zero trust in possibly using purely cognitive tools such as AVRT or urge surfing in the beginning. Probably because in previous years, these kinds of approaches without doing anything else failed me miserably such that I could not even stay sober for 3 days. I had no problem recognizing the thought patterns and the triggers, but my desire to drink was so strong, I could not isolate it no matter what level of awareness. Why I used these more "physical" approaches to keep me safe from my own mind initially.
I also used negative reinforcement a lot in early sobriety... mostly the intense dread I had of relapsing. It's interesting that many people say the relapse posts and misery tend to affect them in a negative and discouraging way. For me, initially, these and the critical (even at times angry and heated) comments were the most helpful, to keep my awareness constantly focused on where I don't want to go. It's not a "nice" way of self protection, but was tremendously helpful for me. At that point, I was also more and more easily able to use purely cognitive tools to get through my urges, such as "playing the tape through". Being anxiety prone really played to my advantage during that phase, I think.
Then there was the time, after maybe 3-4 months, when I was was still fearful enough (good way to not get complacent), but also more grounded in sobriety, so I started putting a lot of thought into what I wanted to do with my sober life. What sort of longer term goals to set, and how to work towards them. This was definitely the most fun and productive phase and, I figured, also very much my sober nature. Something interesting in this context (how it often works for me) is that I realized I was using a classic psychological mechanism for this, something that I am very prone to by default so it's automatic I often don't even recognize at first. It's called displacement. Google if not familiar. There is another buzz word for it that describes what I do more closely as they defined it, but I like displacement better, more graphic and meaningful. Basically, dealing with negative feelings, including destructive motivations such as the desire to drink and isolate, by projecting it into a less harmful or harmless act. Or, preferentially, constructive and useful act. I've always done tons of this in my life with many things... for example, my entire professional life is the result of this, I think. I know that I tend to have a very powerful internal drive, which often borders on obsessions (or generates obsessions) with whatever I am interested in and desire. So, instead of drinking or even entertaining the thought of drinking, I start to ponder what else I want to do with my intense desires. What do I desire to explore? Then it's more like a bit of cost-benefit assessment, and if positive, I try to turn it into a practical strategy and work towards it. And each time the thought of drinking comes up, I remind myself of these goals and my mind usually gets tuned with it quickly -- jee this is really what I want, not a drink. So the urge to drink is "displaced" into something else to wish for and work for. What this requires though, I think, is a good level of sane judgment and decisiveness, why it's unlikely to work in the very early stage of sobriety when most of us are a hot mess and a battlefield internally.
These are what came to mind immediately. I realize that I did not rely on a lot of direct external help to fight my urges to drink except occasionally talking about them on SR, but the above methods were absolutely crucial, and also everything I've read and contributed to here on this board: the daily interactions (on the public board or privately), the awareness that there are thousands of people here and in the world that fight the same dilemmas everyday, the acceptance that this is how addiction works and I need to get through the rough patches somehow otherwise I'll never be free... all these.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 959
I pick up a lot of helpful ideas from other SR members (as shown in my signature, for instance).
The fellowship of the Weekenders thread helps, and so does daily posting in the 24-hour thread, which I usually do in the late afternoon to refresh my commitment to sobriety before I leave work.
Plus, skimming the new threads on SR helps to remind me of the subtle and major horrors people have caused themselves and others, as well as that a successful and enjoyable sober life can be achieved.
The fellowship of the Weekenders thread helps, and so does daily posting in the 24-hour thread, which I usually do in the late afternoon to refresh my commitment to sobriety before I leave work.
Plus, skimming the new threads on SR helps to remind me of the subtle and major horrors people have caused themselves and others, as well as that a successful and enjoyable sober life can be achieved.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Well done, Solarion! Those are great suggestions.
Bullets have stopped whizzing, momentarily. For some reason this entire week has been fraught with conflict at work, none, I am glad to say, involving me. It's like someone tossed a cat amongst the pigeons. It's draining and enlightening because being clear headed and not wrapped up in my own misery, I can see where communication changes could be made to avoid it from starting at all. Like watching a chess match.
Bullets have stopped whizzing, momentarily. For some reason this entire week has been fraught with conflict at work, none, I am glad to say, involving me. It's like someone tossed a cat amongst the pigeons. It's draining and enlightening because being clear headed and not wrapped up in my own misery, I can see where communication changes could be made to avoid it from starting at all. Like watching a chess match.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
Good post as ever LBrain.
No alcoholic hump day as such for me, more of a hump time which starts about 7pm peaks at 10pm and goes by about 10:30am.
I stave of the cravings with a combination of SR walking and keeping busy.
No alcoholic hump day as such for me, more of a hump time which starts about 7pm peaks at 10pm and goes by about 10:30am.
I stave of the cravings with a combination of SR walking and keeping busy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
For me to get over that hump, I made sure I had a plan for what I would do when the cravings hit. Secondly, I made sure I placed myself in environments that were conducive towards me staying sober. Several critical tools for me were HALT (hungry, angry, lonely and tired) and AV recognition technique.
One of the things I also did when newly sober was to fill in this blank when I was wanting to drink, "I want to drink today because.....". It would make me have to start thinking through why I wanted to drink. I would then try to identify the thoughts and emotions behind wanting to drink. By doing this, I became more familiar with my emotions, identifying triggering thoughts and feelings, and if I started to see myself going that direction, I knew I had to be proactive.
One of the things that really helped me when I was feeling negative, was making a gratitude list as it would change my outlook.
One of the things I also did when newly sober was to fill in this blank when I was wanting to drink, "I want to drink today because.....". It would make me have to start thinking through why I wanted to drink. I would then try to identify the thoughts and emotions behind wanting to drink. By doing this, I became more familiar with my emotions, identifying triggering thoughts and feelings, and if I started to see myself going that direction, I knew I had to be proactive.
One of the things that really helped me when I was feeling negative, was making a gratitude list as it would change my outlook.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Thanks for the responses all. Some common themes among them with acceptance being something that is a great motivator. I did things similar to haennie except that I spent most of my time at home. It was individual circumstances or tasks that would trigger me to want a drink. Removing myself from the situation, if only for fifteen minutes at a time, was something I relied on greatly. I didn't try to tough it out. I relocated.
And what bigsombrero says is very true. For me the first year was getting sober for the sake of getting sober. Now that I made it a year I am beginning to see the changes in me. And they are subtle at that. But the gradual improvement or growth is something I'm very aware of. I'm far from perfect and still working on many aspects of my life. Being able to move forward without alcohol as a factor is huge for me. It is definitely a learning process.
There is something I must know. Ruby, can you tell me how throwing a cat into a group of pigeons is like watching a chess match?
I gotta play chess with you for sure!
And what bigsombrero says is very true. For me the first year was getting sober for the sake of getting sober. Now that I made it a year I am beginning to see the changes in me. And they are subtle at that. But the gradual improvement or growth is something I'm very aware of. I'm far from perfect and still working on many aspects of my life. Being able to move forward without alcohol as a factor is huge for me. It is definitely a learning process.
There is something I must know. Ruby, can you tell me how throwing a cat into a group of pigeons is like watching a chess match?
I gotta play chess with you for sure!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Originally Posted by strategery 
For me to get over that hump, I made sure I had a plan for what I would do when the cravings hit. Secondly, I made sure I placed myself in environments that were conducive towards me staying sober. Several critical tools for me were HALT (hungry, angry, lonely and tired) and AV recognition technique.
One of the things I also did when newly sober was to fill in this blank when I was wanting to drink, "I want to drink today because.....". It would make me have to start thinking through why I wanted to drink. I would then try to identify the thoughts and emotions behind wanting to drink. By doing this, I became more familiar with my emotions, identifying triggering thoughts and feelings, and if I started to see myself going that direction, I knew I had to be proactive.
One of the things that really helped me when I was feeling negative, was making a gratitude list as it would change my outlook.
One of the things I also did when newly sober was to fill in this blank when I was wanting to drink, "I want to drink today because.....". It would make me have to start thinking through why I wanted to drink. I would then try to identify the thoughts and emotions behind wanting to drink. By doing this, I became more familiar with my emotions, identifying triggering thoughts and feelings, and if I started to see myself going that direction, I knew I had to be proactive.
One of the things that really helped me when I was feeling negative, was making a gratitude list as it would change my outlook.
I try meditation as well. Gets me through those really intense cravings. They only seem to last a few minutes so it works out well!
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