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-   -   I could feel how proud she was of me today. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/367616-i-could-feel-how-proud-she-me-today.html)

alphaomega 05-19-2015 11:29 AM

I could feel how proud she was of me today.
 
Four years ago, my daughter started high school and I started my sobriety journey (neither of which were perfect).

I have been sober for the majority of the last four years, but I faltered and floundered a few times. Life did, as life will do, and in my inability to cope healthily, I chose to fall back into the bottle a few times. This last time, I was drinking unprecedented amounts and I saw her eyes go vacant when I would pick up. It was slowly killing both of our souls. I decided to get sober again at the New Year, and I have been (thanks to this place and a lot of hard work)ever since.

Today she was inducted to the alumni association of my, and now her, alma mater. This is a significant event of profound emotional healing that has taken place over the last 4 years. My late sister graduated from this school as well, and I was a sophomore there when she passed from a drug and alcohol overdose. The community rallied around me, and for all intents and purposes, carried me through the next two years to graduation. I was forever greatful for my all girls catholic education and knew I wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for that place.

But there was always a painful disconnect in regards to that place. It represented a sorrow so immense, that the first time I stepped back into those hallowed halls with her, I was dizzy and nauseated. The pain was almost more than I could bear. Every emotion of high school flooded back, intensified and blaring. I lost my peripheral vision and started to faint.

I was hungover her first day of school.

Today, I was able to show up. Bright eyes and a clear head. Shoulders back and chest out with immense pride for her acccomplishments. Head held high from my own.

As I walked past her table to light her candle welcoming her into the sisterhood, I could feel the love and pride she had that I belonged to her. The crowd of friends she was with, got teary eyed as well, as they too, know my story.

All of it.

Its a tradition at this school that if your mom is an alum, she will hand you your diploma at graduation.

That moment, will be the penultimate moment, of the final healing of my soul. I will most likely not be able to contain my emotion and have already advise the principal, who has become my dear friend, to have oxygen and a stretcher waiting in the wings for me lol.

Thanks for letting me share this. I'm really moved by all this.

XO AO

Jeni26 05-19-2015 11:34 AM

That was an amazing post AO, I'm so happy for you. My daughter and I share a closeness that wouldn't have been possible were I still drinking.

Thank you for sharing xx

SoberLeigh 05-19-2015 11:35 AM

Oh, AO, what an amazingly beautiful and intensely emotional post. Iit brought tears and joy.

I am so happy for both of you.

Lola23 05-19-2015 11:39 AM

Oh wow, thanks for sharing, this is so beautiful.

You know...SR is great for so many things...but not so great for the mascara wearer's at work ;)

Gonnachange 05-19-2015 11:40 AM

Congratulations! I'm very happy for you and your daughter.

Soberwolf 05-19-2015 11:44 AM

Thats awesome AO

HeadLump 05-19-2015 11:46 AM

That's such a beautiful post, AO, and so moving and inspiring to read. You deserve every last ounce of that pride :)

LiberatedStorm 05-19-2015 11:46 AM

Excellent post! So awesome.

Foolsgold186 05-19-2015 11:57 AM

Lovely post. Thank you for sharing this. As a new mum it's good to hear stories like this.

L x

HeartsAfire 05-19-2015 03:28 PM

My daughter turned 11 on Sunday and we're beginning therapy next week to begin to heal past hurts caused by her father's addiction and exacerbated by my past drinking. To say our relationship is tumultuous is an understatement. It's one of my last frontiers to conquer with regards to the rippling waves addiction left in its wake. After I met with the therapist yesterday I left with a sense of peace that I have never felt about my little girl.

I can't wait to see & feel this pride you speak of. It's coming I know thanks to sobriety. Like you, I'm stopping the cycle with my daughter's generation. Your post strengthens my resolve & bolsters my hope.

Thank you again for another beautiful & touching post.

Venecia 05-19-2015 03:31 PM


Originally Posted by HeartsAfire (Post 5379849)

I can't wait to see & feel this pride you speak of. It's coming I know thanks to sobriety. Like you, I'm stopping the cycle with my daughter's generation. Your post strengthens my resolve & bolsters my hope.

That day will come, indeed, Hearts.

And congrats, AO.

MIRecovery 05-19-2015 03:41 PM

You are so very lucky to have a wonderful daughter that you can enjoy for many sober years. She is truly a gift from God and I am so happy for you.

Hevyn 05-19-2015 03:44 PM

Thank you for sharing your happiness with us, AO. What a beautiful thing it must have been.

gettingsmarter 05-19-2015 04:03 PM

Love this. Thank you for sharing.

Della1968 05-19-2015 06:54 PM

That...was...beautiful.

fini 05-19-2015 06:59 PM

coming full circle in a very different way.
wow.

EndGameNYC 05-19-2015 07:19 PM

This is why we get sober.

hugsandcupcakes 05-19-2015 07:27 PM

And just think of this... When you have grandchildren they will never know you as an alcoholic :)

dwtbd 05-19-2015 07:43 PM

Great post.
Head held high, squared shouldered look at you . Bottle that feeling , that is the stuff worthy of a princess slipper. ;)

alphaomega 05-19-2015 07:49 PM


Originally Posted by dwtbd (Post 5380199)
Great post.
Head held high, squared shouldered look at you . Bottle that feeling , that is the stuff worthy of a princess slipper. ;)

...beautiful... :hug:


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