Trying to come back

Old 05-18-2015, 11:27 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 580
Trying to come back

Hi Everyone, I have not posted in some time. I have gone back to started 'innocently' of course. A few drinks here and there and before I knew it...daily drinking, all day drinking, doing really stupid stuff while I've been drunk. This past weekend was particularly bad, I blew off a lot of social engagements b/c I started drinking at 10am. And then complaining that I am lonely, stupid stupid.

I am really trying to come back to SR, maybe it will help. I dunno....
Lola23 is offline  
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to Lola23 For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (05-19-2015), alphaomega (05-19-2015), CaseyW (05-19-2015), ClearLight (05-20-2015), Delilah1 (05-19-2015), Garden Girl (05-18-2015), gettingsmarter (05-19-2015), instant (05-19-2015), jessie65 (05-19-2015), lilac0721 (05-19-2015), Lily123 (05-18-2015), mirage (05-19-2015), MythOfSisyphus (05-19-2015), Notimetoloose (05-18-2015), SoberLeigh (05-19-2015), strategery (05-19-2015), waywardson8260 (05-19-2015), Windancer (05-19-2015)
Old 05-18-2015, 11:37 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Notimetoloose's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,057
Hi And welcome great you are here.

It does help, for me it helped get the traction and momentum I needed.

Also, it is nice to have support and people that we can relate too.

Make sure you will be safe detoxing. Dig you heels in and throw out any booze you have at home.
It also helps to keep a mental snapshot of our last disastrous drink, like the WE gone.
Notimetoloose is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Notimetoloose For This Useful Post:
Garden Girl (05-18-2015)
Old 05-18-2015, 11:37 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Garden Girl's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 346
Blog Entries: 3
I am right there with you! (Literally!)Lets support each other in a sober week!
Garden Girl is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Garden Girl For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (05-19-2015)
Old 05-18-2015, 11:46 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Gosford, NSW
Posts: 110
Never miss an opportunity to learn. You've tried to have a '1st drink' again like many of us, hopeful you could be a moderate drinker. Now you know where you stand with alcohol move forward and away from it so you can get back to life.
Good luck and strength to you
ChancesAh is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ChancesAh For This Useful Post:
CaseyW (05-19-2015), Garden Girl (05-18-2015)
Old 05-19-2015, 02:22 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,255
I'm glad you came back. Time to give it another shot. Don't give up, Lola23.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 03:41 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,699
Hi and welcome back.
This thing we have is always there to proceed to take us back into it’s progressive future of misery when we let it by having that first drink, which is so powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious.

This affliction we have needs much more attention than just not drinking, it requires action which includes work and changing the personality of our drinking past.

Reading a lot of posts on this site is a good way to keep in touch generally but the recovery is usually made by way of an organized successful organization like AA or others having proven success over the years.

The problem with any method is the people in them who usually slip away thinking and perhaps feeling their cured. I’ve seen far too many return to a worse misery than before they stopped.
Getting involved is a way to mesh with people who have that goal of the joy of recovery.

IOAA2 is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 03:48 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
ccam1973's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
welcome back Lola. What's your plan going forward?

You can do this.
ccam1973 is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 04:03 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,190
Welcome back

Mountainmanbob is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 04:35 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 580
Thanks everyone. I had a horrible night as evidenced by my 2am post, I barely slept, spent all night alternating b/w checking here, and going through my old posts. I feel like at some point I had things together and I will be honest that I woke up with a little more hope today.

I need more help than just reading here, I am finally checking out some AA options in my area. I have found some viable options, including one that is specifically labeled "beginners" and if I have the address correct, is almost on the way home from work. I may try to go tonight. There are a couple more but they are listed as "closed" so not sure what that means, but I assume I can't just walk in.

It makes me so shameful to come here and tell you guys that I have been fact all of March is pretty much a blur. In April I was able to string a week or two together, but then this past few weeks have been a mess. I have done some really bad things in the last few months, things I am ashamed of, things that have harmed my physically, and things that have harmed me emotionally and financially.

Last night as I laid awake pretty much from 1:30 until 4, I finally prayed for the first time in a while, for God to give me the strength and help me out of this hole. I actually felt some peace and was able to go to sleep for at least an hour or so. Maybe he heard me. I'm not a very religious person, but I do find spirituality allows me peace in hard times, and the last few months I have forgotten that.

Thanks to everyone who read this, I am going to move forward today.
Lola23 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Lola23 For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (05-19-2015), ccam1973 (05-19-2015), Delilah1 (05-19-2015), instant (05-19-2015), julesonya (05-19-2015), lunar (05-19-2015), Pondlady (05-19-2015), strategery (05-19-2015)
Old 05-19-2015, 05:08 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,699

Anyone who even thinks they have a problem with alcohol can go to a “C or closed meeting” OR any AA meeting they choose. Heck in order to stay sober a G-gay meeting would certainly be OK, maybe more than some.

IOAA2 is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 05:10 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Windancer's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,619
I just came back again too a few days ago.
I hope you intend to stay. I sure do
Windancer is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Windancer For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (05-19-2015)
Old 05-19-2015, 05:13 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
alphaomega's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,741
Blog Entries: 15
Drinking gave me a raging inferiority complex. I would get drunk and sit and watch the neighborhood people socialize and interact, and was oftentimes invited to do the same, but I'd rather sit on the couch, drink, judge them, and pull the shade on my mind.

Those were the strangest self imposed loneliest years of my life.

No more.
alphaomega is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to alphaomega For This Useful Post:
mirage (05-19-2015)
Old 05-19-2015, 05:32 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
waywardson8260's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 1,501
That is what alcohol does. Welcome back and I wish you the best on giving this another go. You can quit!!!
waywardson8260 is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 05:40 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Pondlady's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,143
I think "closed" meetings are for people who want to stop drinking, it's not open to people who do not want to stop drinking ( i.e.: family members , folks interested in learning about AA etc ).

Go to the meeting today and get that extra support for yourself. Do what ever it takes for you to stop drinking, you'll feel so much better. Good to see you back at SR
Pondlady is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 05:43 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
instant's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,704
Blog Entries: 7
Lola the "shame" is part of the addiction , it encourages the "there's no point" genie.

Have another go. Everyday is a new beginning
instant is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to instant For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (05-19-2015)
Old 05-19-2015, 05:50 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
strategery's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Blog Entries: 1
I am so happy to hear you're moving yourself forward Lola and am glad you're back.
strategery is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 06:19 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
least's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 85,367
Blog Entries: 32
Welcome back! Closed meetings are for alcoholics only, so if you identify as an alcoholic, you are quite welcome at a closed meeting.
least is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (05-19-2015)
Old 05-19-2015, 06:34 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
ccam1973's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Lola, you are on the right path. You can't control what happened yesterday, but you can control your actions today.

Great job on researching AA meetings, now like other's have said try to hit a meeting.

Do what ever it takes to keep you sober today. You have the power to make this change for good. This can be a new beginning for you.

Stay strong!
ccam1973 is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 06:40 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
SoberLeigh's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 115,409
Welcome back, Lola; glad to hear that you are getting back on the road to sobriety and recovery. That 'other' path doesn't work for us.
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 05-19-2015, 06:41 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
foryoumyson's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: n/a
Posts: 224
Every time I leave SR and stop posting i go back to drinking so I think it will help for the both of us to stay on here today is my second day sober.
foryoumyson is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to foryoumyson For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (05-19-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:18 AM.