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Trying to come back

Old 05-18-2015, 11:27 PM
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Trying to come back

Hi Everyone, I have not posted in some time. I have gone back to drinking...it started 'innocently' of course. A few drinks here and there and before I knew it...daily drinking, all day drinking, doing really stupid stuff while I've been drunk. This past weekend was particularly bad, I blew off a lot of social engagements b/c I started drinking at 10am. And then complaining that I am lonely, stupid stupid.

I am really trying to come back to SR, maybe it will help. I dunno....
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Old 05-18-2015, 11:37 PM
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Hi And welcome back...so great you are here.

It does help, for me it helped get the traction and momentum I needed.

Also, it is nice to have support and people that we can relate too.

Make sure you will be safe detoxing. Dig you heels in and throw out any booze you have at home.
It also helps to keep a mental snapshot of our last disastrous drink, like the WE gone.
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Old 05-18-2015, 11:37 PM
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I am right there with you! (Literally!)Lets support each other in a sober week!
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Old 05-18-2015, 11:46 PM
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Never miss an opportunity to learn. You've tried to have a '1st drink' again like many of us, hopeful you could be a moderate drinker. Now you know where you stand with alcohol move forward and away from it so you can get back to life.
Good luck and strength to you
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Old 05-19-2015, 02:22 AM
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I'm glad you came back. Time to give it another shot. Don't give up, Lola23.
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Old 05-19-2015, 03:41 AM
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Hi and welcome back.
This thing we have is always there to proceed to take us back into it’s progressive future of misery when we let it by having that first drink, which is so powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious.

This affliction we have needs much more attention than just not drinking, it requires action which includes work and changing the personality of our drinking past.

Reading a lot of posts on this site is a good way to keep in touch generally but the recovery is usually made by way of an organized successful organization like AA or others having proven success over the years.

The problem with any method is the people in them who usually slip away thinking and perhaps feeling their cured. I’ve seen far too many return to a worse misery than before they stopped.
Getting involved is a way to mesh with people who have that goal of the joy of recovery.

BE WELL
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Old 05-19-2015, 03:48 AM
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welcome back Lola. What's your plan going forward?

You can do this.
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Old 05-19-2015, 04:03 AM
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Welcome back

MM
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Old 05-19-2015, 04:35 AM
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Thanks everyone. I had a horrible night as evidenced by my 2am post, I barely slept, spent all night alternating b/w checking here, and going through my old posts. I feel like at some point I had things together and I will be honest that I woke up with a little more hope today.

I need more help than just reading here, I am finally checking out some AA options in my area. I have found some viable options, including one that is specifically labeled "beginners" and if I have the address correct, is almost on the way home from work. I may try to go tonight. There are a couple more but they are listed as "closed" so not sure what that means, but I assume I can't just walk in.

It makes me so shameful to come here and tell you guys that I have been drinking...in fact all of March is pretty much a blur. In April I was able to string a week or two together, but then this past few weeks have been a mess. I have done some really bad things in the last few months, things I am ashamed of, things that have harmed my physically, and things that have harmed me emotionally and financially.

Last night as I laid awake pretty much from 1:30 until 4, I finally prayed for the first time in a while, for God to give me the strength and help me out of this hole. I actually felt some peace and was able to go to sleep for at least an hour or so. Maybe he heard me. I'm not a very religious person, but I do find spirituality allows me peace in hard times, and the last few months I have forgotten that.

Thanks to everyone who read this, I am going to move forward today.
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:08 AM
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Hi.

Anyone who even thinks they have a problem with alcohol can go to a “C or closed meeting” OR any AA meeting they choose. Heck in order to stay sober a G-gay meeting would certainly be OK, maybe more than some.

BE WELL
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:10 AM
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Hello!
I just came back again too a few days ago.
I hope you intend to stay. I sure do
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:13 AM
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Drinking gave me a raging inferiority complex. I would get drunk and sit and watch the neighborhood people socialize and interact, and was oftentimes invited to do the same, but I'd rather sit on the couch, drink, judge them, and pull the shade on my mind.

Those were the strangest self imposed loneliest years of my life.

No more.
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:32 AM
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That is what alcohol does. Welcome back and I wish you the best on giving this another go. You can quit!!!
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:40 AM
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I think "closed" meetings are for people who want to stop drinking, it's not open to people who do not want to stop drinking ( i.e.: family members , folks interested in learning about AA etc ).

Go to the meeting today and get that extra support for yourself. Do what ever it takes for you to stop drinking, you'll feel so much better. Good to see you back at SR
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:43 AM
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Lola the "shame" is part of the addiction , it encourages the "there's no point" genie.

Have another go. Everyday is a new beginning
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:50 AM
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I am so happy to hear you're moving yourself forward Lola and am glad you're back.
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Old 05-19-2015, 06:19 AM
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Welcome back! Closed meetings are for alcoholics only, so if you identify as an alcoholic, you are quite welcome at a closed meeting.
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Old 05-19-2015, 06:34 AM
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Lola, you are on the right path. You can't control what happened yesterday, but you can control your actions today.

Great job on researching AA meetings, now like other's have said try to hit a meeting.

Do what ever it takes to keep you sober today. You have the power to make this change for good. This can be a new beginning for you.

Stay strong!
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Old 05-19-2015, 06:40 AM
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Welcome back, Lola; glad to hear that you are getting back on the road to sobriety and recovery. That 'other' path doesn't work for us.
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Old 05-19-2015, 06:41 AM
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Every time I leave SR and stop posting i go back to drinking so I think it will help for the both of us to stay on here today is my second day sober.
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