Sickening Thoughts
Sickening Thoughts
Here we are, the morning of day 4.
I've had some sickening thoughts pop into my head the last 24 hours. Memorial Day weekend is coming up and that's usually my worst. Few reasons.
1. I have a wedding to go to that Saturday and my wife asked me last night "How weird is it going to be at the wedding, knowing you can't drink?" I said "It wouldn't be at all because I am on these meds for my injury and wouldn't be able to drink anyway". That's when I realized I don't want to rely on these meds to be my crutch for not drinking. Switch one addiction for another. I don't believe it will come to that, but the thought did occur to me. I have to make a follow up appointment with my Doctor to see how long I will be on the meds, if there is any permanent damage, you know that sort of thing.
2. Memorial Day weekend is for us service members/Veterans, and it's always my worst. Weekends in general are my worst, but I've managed to keep them as calm as possible as often as I can. Memorial Day however, is that one weekend.
That all being said, if I continue on my path, I should be at 9 days by the time Saturday rolls around. I haven't had a craving since the last drink, and I called it quits. But the thoughts did occur.
BTW, Torn Ligaments seriously hurt
I've had some sickening thoughts pop into my head the last 24 hours. Memorial Day weekend is coming up and that's usually my worst. Few reasons.
1. I have a wedding to go to that Saturday and my wife asked me last night "How weird is it going to be at the wedding, knowing you can't drink?" I said "It wouldn't be at all because I am on these meds for my injury and wouldn't be able to drink anyway". That's when I realized I don't want to rely on these meds to be my crutch for not drinking. Switch one addiction for another. I don't believe it will come to that, but the thought did occur to me. I have to make a follow up appointment with my Doctor to see how long I will be on the meds, if there is any permanent damage, you know that sort of thing.
2. Memorial Day weekend is for us service members/Veterans, and it's always my worst. Weekends in general are my worst, but I've managed to keep them as calm as possible as often as I can. Memorial Day however, is that one weekend.
That all being said, if I continue on my path, I should be at 9 days by the time Saturday rolls around. I haven't had a craving since the last drink, and I called it quits. But the thoughts did occur.
BTW, Torn Ligaments seriously hurt
The thoughts will pop up, but you don't have to act on them. They are just thoughts.
If you must attend this wedding, and you don't have to, actually, make sure you make plans and plans on top of plans. Go in separate cars. Go for the ceremony and not the reception. Leave the reception after the meal. Find the non drinkers and stick with them. There are all sorts of things to do.
This weekend will be tough for a lot of people. There's a great thing in hanging together, sober. There will be weekend support threads for this weekend. Try joining them.
Keep going. You can do this. I'm sorry you are in pain.
If you must attend this wedding, and you don't have to, actually, make sure you make plans and plans on top of plans. Go in separate cars. Go for the ceremony and not the reception. Leave the reception after the meal. Find the non drinkers and stick with them. There are all sorts of things to do.
This weekend will be tough for a lot of people. There's a great thing in hanging together, sober. There will be weekend support threads for this weekend. Try joining them.
Keep going. You can do this. I'm sorry you are in pain.
I think the thing that got me through early sobriety was making it my number one priority and changing everything possible. I missed some family holiday events because I knew there would be alcohol. I had to get sober and there would be time for family events when I was stronger. As far as changing I changed everything from the music I listened to all the way up to my evening schedule. I tried to stay away from anything or any routine that I associated with drinking. That's pretty tough when I drank beer most of the day and was pretty much drunk doing everything. Heck, it was about 7 months before I grilled food again.
But it was all worth it. Make sobriety your priority,
But it was all worth it. Make sobriety your priority,
Thanks everyone. I'm just in that headspace where, if and when the thoughts come across my mind, I would rather put them into words and talk about it, rather than let them get me depressed to the point I isolate, because that's what leads to the drinking.
I'm glad I can throw them out on here, and have the support and responses that help.
I'm glad I can throw them out on here, and have the support and responses that help.
Sylent, I've torn my ACL twice. Yes sir torn ligaments hurt.
The longer I go with out drinking the less sickening thoughts I have. They are of shorter duration and much easier let go now. Hang in there.
Thank you for your service.
The longer I go with out drinking the less sickening thoughts I have. They are of shorter duration and much easier let go now. Hang in there.
Thank you for your service.
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