Drknz

So basically since I was 15 or as far back as I can remember I've never gone a week without drinking...

I have set myself a serious goal of no alcohol for 14 Days! I will be keeping this in a diary format more as reference for me and for those who would like too show support as at the age of 26 (I feel like I'm getting old and its time too make some serious changes!).

Today is Day 1 (18/05/2015):

So after having 4 nights of drinking last week and coming down with the flu over the weekend no doubt in part to my lowered immune system from drinking heavily, I experienced one of the worst hangovers I have ever felt in my life.

Whilst my hangovers are slowly getting worse (maybe liver function starting too fail?) This hangover was something entirely different, I was unable to move from my bed and even standing up required so much effort with a pounding left side headache and nausea feeling.

I felt so dehydrated yet I could not drink that much water let alone eat food. I did manage to have some bread and soup and I know that the worse still awaits me as I get mild withdrawal sympotms such as anxiety and sometimes feel down.

I know if I do not compete this detox every weekend will only get worse. Worse hangovers, worse health, even worse anxiety..

It is these reminders I will use to remind myself on my path to a happier, healthier sober life.

for listening and god bless all!
(If anyone wants to join in for support I will be updating and checking this thread daily over the next 2 weeks, its easier with others that by yourself!)

Dee74

Best wishes Drnkz

Have you given any thought to a plan?

D

anattaboy

Yay! Day one for me again also Drknz...I'll jump in the car for this one

alphaomega

That hangover/withdrawal sounds downright dreadful.

I look forward to you sharing your healing.

PurpleKnight

You can do this Drnkz!!

Drknz

Thanks for the support guys! You don't know how much knowing that even if the people in my own household or life understand there are still you guys here on the vast internet who are behind me!

Day 2

So it's the afternoon of Day 2. I was feeling better last night after eating a bit and having some soup, still have a bit of a fever/flu which is not helping the situation.

I have taken the next week off work and am now in the mindset of relaxing/recovering. I know that if I put too much pressure on myself this delicate web can be easily undone and i'll say I deserve a beer and head too the pub.

I have not been too the gym today which I was hoping too start but I just feel so weak and tired at the moment. It's like Im fine if I'm at home in my room but too venture out seems like such a harsh place and requires a lot of effort. It is only Day 2 so I'll see how I feel tomorrow and maybe go for a small gym session or swimming.

As for how I'm feeling mentally, I still feel pretty tired and drowsy. Although I am slightly more optimistic than yesterday everything is still foggy and I find it hard too concentrate on a single task wholeheartedly. I dropped a glass about 10 minutes ago whilst on the phone which I hadn't done in years.. Not sure if it was the nerves of just not concentrating.

I am keen to detox from this and get over this hurdle, too move on and experience life in it's full bliss as I used too and not under the dampening affect that alcohol leaves behind after repeated abuse.

Cheers guys and will check in again tonight and tomorrow!
God Bless!

opalblue

Day 3 for me. We can do this

Drknz

Welcome knb02! I'm looking forward too a better Day 3 tomorrow!

I see you been sober for 43 days before hand. May I ask how long into this before you started too feel clear-headed and notice a significant drop in anxiety etc?

ZaBoozer

Congratulations on day two Drnkz. As Dee asked - plan?

You can do this though - one foot in front of the other and one day at a time.

Good luck

Drknz

Day 3

So bit of a late update today (6:30pm here)

I was up late again last night wasn't really tired, seems like during withdrawal its normal for the brain too be active during the night as I see a lot of people who say they have the same issue. I was up late and been distracting myself with a new video game which Im hoping will distract me tomorrow (usual pub day) and throughout the weekend, loving it so far though!

Awoke around 2 in the afternoon due to going to bed at 4. I've noticed I have been having really deep sleeps and for long hours. My dad came in the room and started telling me how I am doing nothing with my life and I'll never make anything of myself sleeping all day. He doesn't understand I have a problem with alcohol abuse.

So I got up and made myself a healthy smoothie trying not too be angry or upset. I then decided too leave the house and went swimming and too the sauna which even though I wasn't really as relaxed as I should I defiantly felt a lot better afterwards.

I feel a bit better today than yesterday but still sort of hesitant too leave the house and socialise. I guess at the moment I'm just trying too do everything I can too protect my streak and not break my detox.

Will post again tomorrow hopefully with a more in-depth entry.
God bless!

Drknz

Day 4

So woke up earlier than usual before my dad got home as too not have a repeat of yesterday. I don't know how too explain it today but I just feel down.. Like I lack direction or I should be doing more with my time even though I had told myself I was going too take it easy this week and not put pressure on myself as I didn't want too lead too having a drink.

I guess thats a recurring thing with me, sometimes I feel I am not on track or falling off and use alcohol as a way too numb this thought. Maybe I need too be easier on myself and spend more quality time trying new things and pursuing what I love (I.T, gadgets & design).

Did not feel like going too the gym today or getting a haircut as I still find it a lot of hassle too go outside and socialise, I just kinda want too be left alone. Took the dog for a walk but I know if I went too the gym it would probably increase my mood.

Today is my usual pub day and I guess subtley I am anxious about it. But I am turning off my phone as too not get pressured by friends into going. If the desire hits I will go get takeaway as eating and a full belly usually gets rid of my desire too get drunk.

Hopefully I feel a bit more positive tomorrow
God bless!

CaseyW

Congrats on day 4! Good idea to turn off the phone to keep your pub buddies at bay. You're on the right track, looking forward to continuing to hear about your path of recovery!

Drknz

Day 5

So day 5 and it's the dreaded weekend. Slept a lot again last night and awoke midday, turning on my phone because I wanted to go with a friend to get a haircut and my phone is already blowing up. I had a good friend who I haven't seen in a while contact me and said he's going away for work for 2 weeks and wants to do karaoke tonight and on top of that I already have a friends wedding tomorrow I am suppose too attend.

I reluctantly agreed to go to my friends karaoke feeling bad because I haven't seen him in over a month, and now I'm stuck because I don't want too break my streak, it's been 5 days of no alcohol and I have pretty much been relaxing the whole week and taking it easy.

I feel guilty about not seeing my friend or wanting too go to the wedding but at the same time I know if I go too either and start drinking I will probably end up drinking my usual amount (which is a lot) and wake up in a hungover ball on Sunday and be back too where I was on monday morning and the process will just restart again..

I said to my brother this morning.. I wish it was a Tuesday and it wasn't the weekend so I didn't have too face these choices. He states it's funny cause when it's tuesday people usually are hoping its the weekend.

I guess that puts my answer into context.. Maybe I am just going too have too bail on both.

Trying too hang in there!
God bless

exwell66

Bailing is probably a good idea.Have to bail on a beach house I paid a mint for but I know the outcome will be bad,family going anyway.Remember those hangovers ,I know when you cant hold down water the e.r is the next step...been there many times....40 days for me...hang in

Dee74

You need to make recovery the priority drnkz - it's the only way you're gonna make this change happen.

D

Drknz

Thanks Dee,

Although it was hard I messaged my friend said I can't do karaoke. He said no worries I'll see you in a month (which made me feel kinda guilty).

I think I'm gonna skip the wedding as well tomorrow and just hit the gym and relax.. this 2 weeks is something I need to do.. If not just too see how 14 days without a drink feels like..

I think thats what's holding me in at the moment.. The curiosity of the fact I've never gone that long. What if it is sunshine on the other side even thought it may not be at the moment.

Dee74

Sounds like a good decision - you already know very well what happens when you drink

D

exwell66

That's an awesome way to look at it,yes there is a santa clause.You will feel better every day.Been 34 years since I have gone this long without drinking,feel glad and sad.Glad to be alive and healthy,dont know why I am not worse off,sad because of how much I missed in my life.Dont wait like I did because you cant get back that time

Drknz

Thanks exwell! I don't feel I've missed much in my life.. in fact the exact opposite i've always thrown myself in the middle of it. Parties, going out, friends etc etc.

However I do feel I've missed out on many other things I used to enjoy more. Sports, surfing etc.

My main concern is my health. If I'm constantly going through withdrawal every week I get anxious and it makes it hard to work and function as normal.

Hopefully this detox provides clarity and rids this feeling.

exwell66

Back in the day 20s I was a bodybuilder,worked in a club called Chippendales,many friends ,partying in the hamptons and fire island.Great jobwith a fortune 50 company,Had a nice time until I was around 32.Knew drinking was out of hand but I functioned,made it to the city for work feeling awful most days....worked at the company 27 years....then told my boss to go f his mother a few Christmases ago,I was drunk.another nailin the box.The point im making is it will probably get worse over time and become uncontrollable like it was for me.I have great memories until I passed a point and boozz was first,everything revolved around it..everything.When that happened stopped fishing although I had a nice 29 blackfin,np more gym,yankee games,sporting events...nothing except the bottle.The really bad part ,during sandy almost lost my house due to storm surge,tripped on something ,my bladder exploded almost died from that drunk of course....last june my lower intestine exploded out of nowhere...deverticulitus almost died from that...doc said drinking was messing up my plumbing...Stop now don't go thru the hell I have gone thru..thats just scratching the surface