This new sober life
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
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Think it through. Really think through what might happen. If you do manage to stop at "a few" it's probably going to be a matter of days and then you'll drink to get drunk.
For me, it was a way of putting off things, putting off my life.
I don't think you want to put off your life anymore. You want to make your life better for yourself, and for your son.
For me, it was a way of putting off things, putting off my life.
I don't think you want to put off your life anymore. You want to make your life better for yourself, and for your son.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Thank you everyone. Happy to go to bed still sober and feeling better. I've got to add more things to the plan and write more tomorrow but for now it's bedtime. <3. I don't know where I would be without this site.
Ang you are awesome
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Join Date: May 2015
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Day 198. I took the day off since my son has the day off. I could have taken him to the daycare today but I'm like nah I'll just take it off too. Having a nice morning with my little guy and of course, Elvis who is very happy to have us home. Morris is also happy but he's still a little shy but very, very sweet. The vet thinks he's around a year old. We have given him a birthday of February 14th. 
Elvis has the same birthday as Chuck Norris. Morris is a lot calmer than Elvis who likes to play a lot but never means any harm. Elvis and Morris get along pretty well.
I downloaded the game "Press your luck" on my phone and my son and I have been having fun with it. He loves to tell the other contestants to get a Whammy, lol.
The thoughts of drinking come up but they seem to have shifted as in much, much easier to ignore. What I do have to say to anyone who is struggling, it does get better in time with the urges. My mood seems to be a bit better but I'm still second guessing myself a lot about pretty much anything I do. I'm having issues participating on the forums because I think what I type out to others isn't good enough. I'll try to get over it because I know I do mean well. These are just issues I've had all my life and nothing new. Hope everyone is doing well and is having a great week. <3
Elvis has the same birthday as Chuck Norris. Morris is a lot calmer than Elvis who likes to play a lot but never means any harm. Elvis and Morris get along pretty well. I downloaded the game "Press your luck" on my phone and my son and I have been having fun with it. He loves to tell the other contestants to get a Whammy, lol.
The thoughts of drinking come up but they seem to have shifted as in much, much easier to ignore. What I do have to say to anyone who is struggling, it does get better in time with the urges. My mood seems to be a bit better but I'm still second guessing myself a lot about pretty much anything I do. I'm having issues participating on the forums because I think what I type out to others isn't good enough. I'll try to get over it because I know I do mean well. These are just issues I've had all my life and nothing new. Hope everyone is doing well and is having a great week. <3
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Originally Posted by Angie247 
I'm having issues participating on the forums because I think what I type out to others isn't good enough. I'll try to get over it because I know I do mean well. These are just issues I've had all my life and nothing new.
There's a saying I love ... 'mean what you say, and say what you mean.' I find it fascinating.
I found in sobriety that I began to say and write things authentically, I was beginning to mean what I said, and so I was saying what I meant to say. It was validating
Keep typing, whatever you need to say ... it's all good enough.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
I have a coworker that I am a bit worried about. She's taken to drinking a bottle of wine every night. It started as a joke for her, she needed her wine but wasn't going to go overboard with it. Then it became that she needed it to relax and was talking about when she couldn't get the cork out of the bottle no matter how hard she tried and she felt like crying. She was talking about it one day and I had to say something. I made a mention privately when no one was around to be careful because addiction can slip up quickly. Then I didn't want her to feel like i was judging her so I shared a little. This is someone who I know can keep a secret if I ask her not to repeat so I said, I used to feel like I had to have alcohol almost every night and it was hard to stop and I don't want to see that happen to you. She is a very non judgmental person so she didn't comment on my confession. She said how much she looks forward to her wine every night but she's going to try to stop it being every night. This past week I stood next to her and I got a whiff of something I hadn't smelled in 6 months and when I did it had been on me. It was the smell of one who was a heavy drinker but was trying to cover it up and it just doesn't work because it's coming out of the pores. I probably smelled worse because I drank beer that tasted like gasoline but whatever. I thought I was the only alcoholic who smelled like that, it's sort of a stale, gross smell. I want to reach out more without pushing her away.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi ang
it's great you want to help but I find it best when people come to me - if I pushed the issue I sometimes drove people away completely.
She knows of your history - if she wants your help I'm sure she'll let you know
the other thing to consider is your own recovery. I seen people give so much of themselves, both rescuer and rescued holding so tightly to each other than they pulled each other down and both ended up drinking.
Thats something to avoid.
You, and what you share, is more than good enough, believe me
D
it's great you want to help but I find it best when people come to me - if I pushed the issue I sometimes drove people away completely.
She knows of your history - if she wants your help I'm sure she'll let you know
the other thing to consider is your own recovery. I seen people give so much of themselves, both rescuer and rescued holding so tightly to each other than they pulled each other down and both ended up drinking.
Thats something to avoid.
You, and what you share, is more than good enough, believe me
D
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
I know how you feel too Angie ( and by the way I'm thrilled that we're both still here, we rock!!)
I have a coworker who sometimes comes in smelling how I used to. I talk fairly openly about what I'm going through, but I never direct my observations at his behavior.
Noone's warnings stopped me! I had to hit my own bottom :-)
I have a coworker who sometimes comes in smelling how I used to. I talk fairly openly about what I'm going through, but I never direct my observations at his behavior.
Noone's warnings stopped me! I had to hit my own bottom :-)
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
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Thank you so much everyone. 
I'm not going to say anything else about it to her unless she asks my opinion and I will be very tactful in my responses. I'm not too much of a direct, blunt person but I'll try to be extra cautious in case she does want to talk about it. I hate to see a friend start into alcoholism but she will have to make the decision to stop. I really like her and I hope she'll be okay.
I'm 200 days sober today and it feels good. I really can't believe I could go this far and I've had some close calls but not a drop in 200 days.
I've been watching and then had to stop watching the news from the horrible events in Paris today. My heart and prayers goes out to everyone.
I'm not going to say anything else about it to her unless she asks my opinion and I will be very tactful in my responses. I'm not too much of a direct, blunt person but I'll try to be extra cautious in case she does want to talk about it. I hate to see a friend start into alcoholism but she will have to make the decision to stop. I really like her and I hope she'll be okay. I'm 200 days sober today and it feels good. I really can't believe I could go this far and I've had some close calls but not a drop in 200 days.
I've been watching and then had to stop watching the news from the horrible events in Paris today. My heart and prayers goes out to everyone.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Happy 200th Angie!
You're right....it does keep getting easier.
Man....that smell. You struck a chord there.
I was called out on that smell. I know exactly what you're talking about.
As for helping the alcoholic...you already got lots of great advice. If I you don't mind me adding...
Use "pulling" suggestions and not "pushing."
Pull your friend towards sobriety by being verbal about your growth and the positives you've experienced so far. Don't hold back on expressing the positives. Also being a little open about the negatives of when you were drinking would help.
The point is...you are ahead of your friend and you're constantly making choices of which path you want to continue with. Leave breadcrumbs for your friend and maybe a few "go this way" signs once in a while.
At the end of the day, there's very little "pushing" that can be done.
I will say this though.....
I key reason for me being sober today is that my girlfriend called me out on that smell. She was aware of it as her Dad was an alcoholic. He died after falling down drunk in a parking lot. My girlfriends daughter called attention to it too.
So there I was....trying to hide that I was drinking all day and two people I care about just saw a MAJOR clue that I can't hide unless I actually reduced my drinking. It was not THE "ah huh" moment for me, but it was a piece of the part which was the "ah huh" moment for me. Played significant role in realizing I had a problem.
You're right....it does keep getting easier.
Man....that smell. You struck a chord there.
I was called out on that smell. I know exactly what you're talking about.
As for helping the alcoholic...you already got lots of great advice. If I you don't mind me adding...
Use "pulling" suggestions and not "pushing."
Pull your friend towards sobriety by being verbal about your growth and the positives you've experienced so far. Don't hold back on expressing the positives. Also being a little open about the negatives of when you were drinking would help.
The point is...you are ahead of your friend and you're constantly making choices of which path you want to continue with. Leave breadcrumbs for your friend and maybe a few "go this way" signs once in a while.
At the end of the day, there's very little "pushing" that can be done.
I will say this though.....
I key reason for me being sober today is that my girlfriend called me out on that smell. She was aware of it as her Dad was an alcoholic. He died after falling down drunk in a parking lot. My girlfriends daughter called attention to it too.
So there I was....trying to hide that I was drinking all day and two people I care about just saw a MAJOR clue that I can't hide unless I actually reduced my drinking. It was not THE "ah huh" moment for me, but it was a piece of the part which was the "ah huh" moment for me. Played significant role in realizing I had a problem.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
I felt it necessary to say that when my girlfriend brought it to my attention, she simply said she was worried for me and loved me. She said her dad had a certain odor about him because he drank so much that the alcohol was escaping out his pores. Then said that I've had that odor every day for a while and followed that up with she loves me and just doesn't want to see me in a bad place. Then she said her daughter had concerns over her choice in a a boyfriend because she knew that smell as well.
"Be careful," she said, "I don't want to end up in a long term relationship with an alcoholic. I love you and I think you are awesome. I would hate to see alcohol be the reason for losing two people I love. Ok?"
No judging. No orders to stop. She didn't make the claim that I was an alcoholic. It wasn't much longer after that when I quit. Between that night and my day 1, I started trying to reduce. Started a few day 1's with horrible outcomes. Then started reducing intake. Or at least trying to. I stopped drinking around her daughter altogether and drastically slowed down around my girlfriend.
I noticed I was struggling and it became evident just how bad off I was. Thus began my journey and my commitment to quit altogether.
"Be careful," she said, "I don't want to end up in a long term relationship with an alcoholic. I love you and I think you are awesome. I would hate to see alcohol be the reason for losing two people I love. Ok?"
No judging. No orders to stop. She didn't make the claim that I was an alcoholic. It wasn't much longer after that when I quit. Between that night and my day 1, I started trying to reduce. Started a few day 1's with horrible outcomes. Then started reducing intake. Or at least trying to. I stopped drinking around her daughter altogether and drastically slowed down around my girlfriend.
I noticed I was struggling and it became evident just how bad off I was. Thus began my journey and my commitment to quit altogether.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Inc - Powerful story. Thanks for sharing.
Angie - Great job on 200 days!!
I love the posts on your thread! I was always someone who could point out what other people needed to do to improve their lives. When I focus on myself I find that I'm a lot less stressed about others' behaviors. It helps me to help myself, I guess??
Angie - Great job on 200 days!!
I love the posts on your thread! I was always someone who could point out what other people needed to do to improve their lives. When I focus on myself I find that I'm a lot less stressed about others' behaviors. It helps me to help myself, I guess??
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