Calitano's tracker...
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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Bit all over the place today. The dial has turned to Pixies and War on Drugs… next stop Slipkot? 
I was thinking of my friend (who died recently) and burst into tears. Last time I did grief sober was when I was 11... can kind of see and understand why now.
No risk to my sobriety, but I have a crazy amount of anger and stress energy to burn off - the kind that doesn't go away with a soothing bath and herbal tea.
Anyway, life in all its ups and downs. Date with punching bag awaits.
I was thinking of my friend (who died recently) and burst into tears. Last time I did grief sober was when I was 11... can kind of see and understand why now.
No risk to my sobriety, but I have a crazy amount of anger and stress energy to burn off - the kind that doesn't go away with a soothing bath and herbal tea.
Anyway, life in all its ups and downs. Date with punching bag awaits.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Give yourself a little time Calitano - we bottled up emotions for a long time...things will settle again 
I'm enjoying a nice solo evening with room service, diet coke and movies.
Interesting times.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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Back in a more mellow groove today. Did a whole lot of nothing - movies, spot of shopping, reading - and it was just what I needed.
Watched Clouds of Sils Maria - about aging and how our point of view changes as we age and how we struggle to reconcile the two. Made me think a lot, and reminded me of a quote on another thread here about bridging the past and the present. Anyway, great movie… Kristin Stewart is fantastic in it.
The stormy days can be kind of insightful sometimes: I need to get better at living with discomfort. Guess I used to drinking to avoid it. It was a valid strategy I suppose - until it wasn't.
Watched Clouds of Sils Maria - about aging and how our point of view changes as we age and how we struggle to reconcile the two. Made me think a lot, and reminded me of a quote on another thread here about bridging the past and the present. Anyway, great movie… Kristin Stewart is fantastic in it.
The stormy days can be kind of insightful sometimes: I need to get better at living with discomfort. Guess I used to drinking to avoid it. It was a valid strategy I suppose - until it wasn't.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
So just one more officially crazy week, then I think things will start to taper off in terms of travel and schedule. Oddly the traveling, stress different environments and inputs have actually provided lots of food for thought. Took today off, and again, did quite a bit of nothing much but let the Numskulls settle.
No issues with alcohol or cravings, just the odd passing thought or reflex. It's nice to notice these and wave them on their way!
No issues with alcohol or cravings, just the odd passing thought or reflex. It's nice to notice these and wave them on their way!
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
Busy busy today, enjoyed buzzing around a bit.
Coming to the end of lots of different cycles over the next few weeks - in work, relationships and in what's important to me. I'm looking forward to refocusing and recalibrating things a little for the second half of the year.
Lots of plans in my head (as usual); time to make them crystalize into the real. Sobriety makes this possible. It also helps keep the headspace free from all the old debris that accumulates and floats around there, leaving more room for possibilities.
Coming to the end of lots of different cycles over the next few weeks - in work, relationships and in what's important to me. I'm looking forward to refocusing and recalibrating things a little for the second half of the year.
Lots of plans in my head (as usual); time to make them crystalize into the real. Sobriety makes this possible. It also helps keep the headspace free from all the old debris that accumulates and floats around there, leaving more room for possibilities.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
Today I am 6 months sober, and can hardly believe it. Would have been inconceivable to me just 6 months and 1 day ago!!!
Yesterday's challenges and trigger now feels like a test that I passed very well - I got myself out of a nasty situation with a very creepy business colleague and didn't drink. In retrospect my only regret is not dealing him a sharp kick (y'all know where)
I will probably post a little less frequently from now on, but intend keeping super focussed on staying sober. On my way home...
Yesterday's challenges and trigger now feels like a test that I passed very well - I got myself out of a nasty situation with a very creepy business colleague and didn't drink. In retrospect my only regret is not dealing him a sharp kick (y'all know where)
I will probably post a little less frequently from now on, but intend keeping super focussed on staying sober. On my way home...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
Spent the day running around town on remodel errands. Few more weeks and it'll be done - my new nest, can't wait.
All going well sobriety wise, was thinking back on some of the crazy I used to pull, wow, I'm grateful to have moved on.
Weird thing is that I had some completely random thoughts of smoking weed recently - and I was never a smoker! I used to smoke a bit after college (20 years ago) but it was never my thing. I think my brain is starting to realize that the alcohol route is blocked, and is searching around for alternatives.
Hot yoga class starting next week, so brain will have to make to with a few extra post-exercise endorphins
All going well sobriety wise, was thinking back on some of the crazy I used to pull, wow, I'm grateful to have moved on.
Weird thing is that I had some completely random thoughts of smoking weed recently - and I was never a smoker! I used to smoke a bit after college (20 years ago) but it was never my thing. I think my brain is starting to realize that the alcohol route is blocked, and is searching around for alternatives.
Hot yoga class starting next week, so brain will have to make to with a few extra post-exercise endorphins
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