IOAA2

Hi.
I’m a hard line old timer and was taught by the old timers.

I was taught that I had to be honest with myself about my drinking and ACCEPT the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row. I needed to WANT to be sober! Above ALL things I needed to go to any lengths to get and stay sober.

That last sentence is tough and I needed to rid myself of the awe buts.

This recovery thing is not a side show for when we feel like it, it’s the main event and we need to remain vigilant because alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling and a killer.

BE WELL

lilac0721

This thread is great. Thank you for sharing, hotelcalifornia. You helped me see the big thing in my own several-year journey of on-again, off-again sobriety. I, too, didn't want to commit or take the option of drinking off the table. I am back to day 2 and I will spend a lot of time examining my reluctance to commit. I can commit to today.
Keep us posted how your journey is going!

NoelleR

Back in the day, there was an old saying in answer to the question, "How does one achieve long-term sobriety?" ......and the answer is, "Don't drink, and don't die." Simple, eh.....?

(o:
NoelleR

RussC

Thank you for this. I'm at square one today. Evaluating my reluctance to commit -- and how to keep that commitment long term

least

In order to commit to long term sobriety, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Simple, but not easy. But it is possible.

MIRecovery

Have tried?

AA in Korea: Meeting Start

hotelcalifornia

I am on a short break, so I have to be quick. First, thank you all for your comments.

I am ready. I have never been ready to go to any length and always had that hope of being normal with effort. I get it this time. This is what a bottom feels like. I am ready to accept that I am an alcoholic and will NEVER be able to drink normal. Last night, after I brushed my teeth, I went to wash with Listerine and thought, man if this puts the slightest amount into my body... it's not worth the risk. I put it down and went to bed.

The Korean meetings are just too far from my house to go to. Right now, SR is all I have and I am exploring maybe trying to find a sponsor via Skype if that is a thing.

Thanks again. I am so thankful to see these words from you all.

hotelcalifornia

I really don't want to drink and I really want to be sober. I am trying to be accountable for my actions. Still waiting to see what the results of my last night out will be.

IOA22, I have attended meetings daily in the past for up to six months and was the coffee maker, etc., but really didn't like hearing the truth. I was a dry drunk. I was also so afraid of being known to be an alcoholic. At the same time, it felt like a home to me. Now, I see that I just wasn't ready to stop. I wasn't ready and had to go out and do it again. Now I have even more stuff to regret and dwell on forever (because I dwell on every mistake I've made since I started drinking at 16. Obsessively at times.) That's okay though. They're my battle scars and evidence that I have been losing this battle for almost 15 years. I know it's old-timers like you who speak the truth that a lot of us don't want to hear. I hope my ego doesn't get in my way this time around. Part of me is even hoping I lose my visa and have to go back to the States just so I can go to meetings. I really need to keep this job though, and if I come out of this alright, I will be really thankful for a second chance.

hotelcalifornia

I can usually find someone or thing to sort of blame for what's happened. This time, man, I know it was all me and a bunch of booze.

Hang in there. Praying is getting me through my rough moments and I'll say a prayer for you. We can do this.

hotelcalifornia

Just checking in to make this a positive habit. Just found out my mom has been in the hospital and detox for the past week. This is the third time for her. Doctor says she has 6 months if she doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do. I'm going to stay sober today though, so if she needs someone to talk to I can be that person.

lillyknitting

Don't drink.

CaseyW

Sorry to hear about your mom. Sounds like you're on the right path for this one--you can't control her addiction but it doesn't mean you have to drink as well. Wishing you the best.

hotelcalifornia

Another morning. Prayed to make it through today sober and to spend some time reading from maybe the Big Book or some other literature. I've been listening to some good Alcoholism based podcasts and enjoying spending time on here.

I was thinking yesterday, just how cool this community is and how amazing it is to be able to access support from other alcoholics online.

Thanks everyone on SR.

damascus1986

ID say the answer to stay sober for the logn term is definetly in the steps and fellowship however you can find it.

tomsteve

Before the jack Alexander article came out, AA wasnt known in very many areas. After that article came out, AA central office( I think that's what is was called back then) started getting letters from all over the U.S. requests for the big book, people in areas where the closest meeting might me a thousand miles away. People were getting sober with nothing more than putting into action the suggestion in the big book.
Then started meetings in their area.
If they could get sober with nothing more than the big book, I have faith you can,too.
Then start a meeting.
The support of meetings is a blessing, but going to meetings and not drinking don't treat alcoholism. They aren't what caused me to recover from the seeming less hopeless state of body and mind that made me drink. It was putting into action whats in the big book.


You mention you used to go to meetings every day. That's not possible now?

bm2bob

One thing to consider is that AA can be more than daily meetings and making coffee.

There is the option of getting a sponsor and working the steps.

hotelcalifornia

Two weeks in and still going for it. Still feel sure that what happened was my bottom. I'm experiencing for the first time what it feels like to deal with this one day at a time. Normally I would be pining to get to one month or dreaming of reaching six months.

Now it's just waking up everyday and praying for help.

Still, I can feel my ego wanting to reassert itself, so I'm praying mostly to stay humble and do some real work on myself right now.

Any guidance on how to keep the ego in check?

Glad to be able to be here this morning! Thanks SR!

Dee74

Service work does that for me, HC

D

damascus1986

hitting my knees every moring and night helps me with humilty some. **** remebering how many times god pulled me outs situations i when i was gonna end up with some bad consequences helps.