Yazzylove

All,

This question has been posed several times Im sure but I don't feel like digging old posts and Im fairly new to sobriety (again) and to this site.

My question is has anyone started in AA but switched to SR solely to stay sober?

Ive got a little over a month (39 days) and I did start going to AA meetings which helped for the first 30 days but this week I have gone to less meetings (2 in total) and I found that I've been here a whole lot more this week posting instead.. but here are my issues/dilemmas?
AA
1) Im a single parent so leaving my kids at home in the evenings is wearing thin with them.
2) Going to meetings during my lunch break takes too much time count about 1.2-2 hours and I don't always get the opportunity to go depending on how busy I am
3) The people I have met so far, while nice while I got the numbers don't really keep in touch with me...Ill make calls or text people and while they answer back, nobody has every initiated contact with me so I feel like Im bothering people
4) Didn't find the right sponsor like I thought so I broke up with mine and now am sponsorless
5) Hate Sharing in meetings due to anxiety as I've posted before
6) I get to stay home with my kids and not take off in the evenings leaving them alone

SR
1) Love the site. I feel like I share easily and I get soo much out of it
2) Reading posts I can identify with
3) But I don't have that human contact
4) Fear that by not going to meetings I'll drink again (not sure if that's true or that's just the fear they instill in you in meetings so you keep going and you don't pick up

Anyway after this long posts...bottom line can I succesfully stay sober using SR and leave AA? Anyone have that specific experience

greens

Yup.
miss the face go face contact of aa so if I'm really bored/loneLy I'll go. But it is extremely common for people to switch from aa to smart. I've stayed in Contact with a couple of my aa peeps also (I attended 4 years) , even my sponsor was supportI've of my switch

greens

Oh* I MEAN T to say it is extremely common for people to switch to smart and stay sober.
what happens in aa is we only see the people who come back (selection bias ) and relapse and have to sttart over again, we do not see the people who leave and stay sober successfully.

Yazzylove

Hi Greens thanks for the response. What I meant by SR I meant Sober Recovery (This website forums) not Smart Recovery...Not even sure what Smart recovery is.

Also I should I add that Im really engaged in my spiritual community at church and started doing service work (usher) and weekly meditation classes etc...so I will also get that spiritual and service work aspect in my recovery

greens

Ah I see, my bad
Well my answer still remains yes , you can stay sober successfuly without working aas program . I have heard several people use this forum as a priMary means of recovery.

ScottFromWI

You will get out of any plan/program what you put into it. I would suggest trying both and see what is the most effective for you.

Dee74

I've just used SR and it's worked for me.

I'm not sure I'd compare AA to SR tho..apples and oranges, really

D

Joe Nerv

Isolation and social phobias were part of my addiction, so I like to push myself out the door. I'm also concerned about Internet addiction. I'm a much happier person when I'm out there in the real world, meeting and communicating with people I can see, hear, and touch. Don't like to be lost in front of my computer screen, or typing things out on my phone as I'm doing now. I'm at the gym, but disconnected from my surroundings. About to reconnect now ....

Yazzylove

Dee how is it apples and oranges? Both are means to stay sober right?

Dee74

We're all on the same side for sure - but while AA (or SMART or Rational Recovery) is a recovery method, SR is a peer support forum, open to all recovery methods.

That's what I meant - it's a bit like comparing apples to oranges...but either is good for you
D

Kevin78

I tried just staying here before, It wasn't enough for me. I was falling away too easily. AA seems to be doing the trick for me as well as SR.

Weaver

Yes, it is very much possible. I applied tools from a few different Recovery methods and have stayed sober.

Yazzylove

Got it! Thanks for your feedback everyone! Well Im not going to leave AA alltogether for now, but Im going to cut back for sure and supplement with this site!
Also not going to feel guilty about not going to a meeting every single day or doing a 90 is 90, or whatever as they suggest...

Anna

I've used SR for many years and obviously I love it.

I am not an AA person.

Do whatever works for you.

Zebra1275

I use both. I go to an AA meetings at least once a week, which is not a lot compared to some others. But I'm really busy with work and life so I try to spend some time on here almost every day.

I've been sober a few years now, so I don't have the initial panic of "my God, how am I ever going to stay sober today" feeling. I enjoy the face to face with the group I go to almost every week. I found that SR wasn't quite enough to keep me sober in early sobriety.

One of the benefits of AA is that you can find a group almost anywhere. One of the dangerous times for me in the past, was traveling for business and being alone in a hotel room at 6 p.m. with nothing to do. No one knows me, and if I drink no one will know. I've gone to many AA meetings in different cities, to avoid this situation. It's fun meeting new people and they are usually very friendly when they find out you are a visitor.

Yazzylove

Thanks Zebra!! I really like this woman's group on Tuesday nights... Besides that haven't really found a meeting I really liked! I'll do both for now!

site1Q84

I use both. Tried just the site but it wasn't quite enough so I added in 2 face to face meetings a week.

I think it just depends on every individual. For some people only SR works, for some people only AA works, for some it's both. And for the lucky normal crowd, they don't need either!

I say check out all your options, take what works for you and leave the rest.

Ruby2

Hi Yacine, I use a combination of AA and here. More here than AA for the past several months. I can't leave my children at home because they're too young so it means a sitter. Can't go at lunch because there's nothing around where I work.

When I was first sober I was doing three days a week for meetings. If you like going to the one meeting I'd suggest continuing and supplement. I do like face to face. Keep calling or texting people. Find out if they prefer text or calls. Realize you won't click with everyone. I text people. They text back. Sometimes they initiate it. Most of the time I do. Its okay. I get what I need and it's been working for over a year now. But, things change and I need to as well.

Ken33xx

I generally prefer the face to face aspect of AA meetings and attend once or twice a week.

I also like this website because I can discuss potentially hot button issues related to recovery.

I prefer texting to phone calls during the weeknights because I usually don't get home from work until 8:30. Then I often go hit the local gym before going to bed at 10:30 (wake up at 7.)

However, if something is important and the person isn't simply "checking in" by all means they can give me a call.

FLCamper

I've done both and have similar thoughts, Yacine. I liked the face to face contact and the more social aspect of AA. But, it was just too time consuming and not as convenient.
Funny you mention the phone calls: I felt that way, too. I called other AA members, but never received any phone calls and felt like maybe I was bothering them. Then I wondered if there was some rule about not calling newer members.
I'm delighted to have found SR and Sunday will mark three months for me. I'll go pick up some Chuck E Cheese tokens instead of a chip to commemorate the occasion :-)