Hello Everyone - i think i am heading for trouble !
 

Hi folks

My name is Phil and I thought I would say hi.
I know I have an issue with alcohol and typing this is starting to help me realise it, it might not fix it but it is helping a little just typing it out.
Right now I feel like I have a dependency on alcohol but I don't feel I am as bad as some other people. I don't mean to gloat when I say that, but I think alcohol has different effects on different people.

My problem is that I function properly through the days, but not by night. I feel like a beast comes and takes over at night and I loose control to it.
I don't ever go to bed steaming, I never pass out, I remember what happened the night before but there is something there that is taking over and everyday it seems to get a bit stronger.

Ultimately I am scared !

Well, that is my hello to everyone - I don't know how this will be received or how it will come across but I have said it now and I feel better for doing so.
Thanks
Phil

Welcome Phil nice to meet you SR is a fantastic site for recovery

Welcome Phil, There is so much combined experience to learn from here.

Welcome!
Like they say if you think you may have a problem with alcohol dependency you probably have a problem..

For years I would rationalize that I wasn't 'one of them'... cause I never got in trouble with the law, always drank in the evenings , never in the morning, never missed work the next day, never suffered any consequences...etc...

But all that I find out now was just being in denial..and now I can confidently accept that I have a problem with alcohol and if I don't abstain now it will escalate to a level that Im not going to like..

But this is for you to decide and for you to come to that conclusion...nobody ever told me that I was an alcoholic I had to admit/accept it.

Welcome! You have come to an awesome place!

Well, my take on it is if drinking is causing you discomfort - if it's a problem - then stopping is the solution.

Welcome to SR!

I feel like a beast comes and takes over at night and I loose control to it.

Sounds like you are in the right place. Alcoholism is progressive. Ask yourself this, and be honest, if you keep drinking, where will you be in 1 year, 5 years or 10 years?

If you don't like the answer, you don't have to go there.

I hear you there - that's what has me scared !!!

Welcome,
Phil I think you'll find many different people here that are so willing to support and give you our own experiences. I at one point was exactly where you are now. Able to drink only at night (and not even every night) to relax after a hard shift at the hospital but it is a very slippery slope. I'll tell you I wish I had realized my problem before I became " as bad as others" and crossed over the invisible line of "gone to far".

Look forward to hearing more from you!

Welcome to SR Phil :)

D

Welcome to the Forum Phil!! :wave:

Hi there,
Ive tried to fight against the issues I have stated in my first post but nothing has changed -
I am still doing the same as before, the same as a month ago, 2 months ago etc etc
What do I do next ????

Some people find it helpful to get help from their doctor to quit drinking. Is that a possibility for you? I also had help staying sober from an addiction counselor. She was very helpful for me.

I hope you can get the support you need to get sober for good. :)

I am a little scared of bringing my problems to my doc, I don't know if it will stay on my record - I cant allow this to effect my work

I think at some point you will find you have to do whatever it takes, including going to your dr. The thing is, alcoholism is progressive and it will worsen unless you stop drinking. Have you considered therapy? And, there is lots of support here, so please continue to read and post.

Welcome to SR Phil! This is an excellent place and you will find a ton of advice, support, and encouragement here. It has been a tremendous help for me. Good luck on your journey :)

Hi Phil. Sorry if I missed what country you are from, but I know that in many countries your doctor is not allowed to provide your medical records to anyone else without your permission, unless they think you may be at risk to yourself or others.

I got in fairly deep poo at my own work due to the number of sick days I was taking but my doctor never gave out any info to my work. Even when my work requested a letter from the doctor to say I was fit to work.

If you're worried, just ask your doctor if he will tell them. You don't have to mention your problem before saying anything to him/her.

I'd give it a go. My doctor has helped me a lot.

Welcome to SR. If alcohol is causing you problems it doesn't matter so much what you label yourself, dependent or alcoholic. I was at an AA meeting tonight and the topic was relapse. One thing stood out. It's more helpful to identify with others who say that alcohol is causing trouble rather than comparing. I never lost a job or got arrested or lost my family and friends. But that doesn't mean it couldn't happen if I continue to drink in excess.

Stick around. Life without alcohol can be beautiful and far more fulfilling.

Welcome Phil. This place is great. It's helped me immensely and I'm 26 sober days in now.

Just like you, I was an evening drinker only. Never missed work and took care of life's business. But I drank way too much everyday to be remotely "safe and normal". It went on for over a decade and I was a binger for 10 years before that. When I tried to quit 4 years ago I barely made it a week. That's when I knew I was in deep. I've tried moderation and weekends only too but failed. Finally my health caught up to me and I drew the line for real this time.

The progression never goes backwards and
it becomes an all or none proposition for many of us. If you're considering trying the none route with 24/7 support at your fingetips, you've come to an amazing place.