HOPELESSAMY

Does anyone else do this? I'm trying desperately to find help to stop, went to the doc today. It was a 'Physicians Assistant' and I was told my problems are not within her 'scope'. So back I go on Friday at 7am. Praying to get detox meds, and an excuse note for work. But in the mean time...until at least Friday...I get by and ward off the shakes by drinking at work. Every night I have panic attacks that someone knows. But I do the same damn thing the next day.

I did three days starting last Thursday, it was hell. I caved on Sunday and have been back to drinking ever since. So scared I'm going to lose everything, my daughter, my job, my freedom, my life.

What kind of an idiot drinks AT WORK??? How low can I go???? Praying I get through to Friday without a DUI or worse. :a

alphaomega

Hi Amy. And welcome.

I never drank at work. but I know someone who did, and it was a living hell. she would sneak into the bathroom and nip off of her pint of vodka.

It's not all that uncommon for folks like us.

Glad you are here.

sleepie

Ok, going to the doctor is a great first step to put the brakes on this! Make sure they understand the seriousness of the situation.

iminhere27

I used to drink before work and during my lunch break just to get through the day. I felt so ashamed and worried constantly that someone was going to smell it on me..if they ever did they didnt say. Eventually during my morning drinks i wanted to keep drinking and would call in late or not go in at all for days. Then the occasional no show and no call begin happening. Finally when i did that again yet again i decided it was time to get help...i was going to get fired or something if i kept on that way. Best of luck with the doctor, thats a brave move towards recovery.

bigsombrero

Hi there. Many here have been in your shoes. I was an "all-day" drinker myself for a while, but by then I'd already lost my job.

You're "hoping for detox meds" - I am hoping you plan on taking these under supervision at a detox center. This might not be something you can just take care of by yourself over a weekend with a few pills. Consider a more serious plan - and it sounds like you're doing the right things by meeting with doctors. Be open and honest about your drinking and they will be able to help. Good for you getting the ball rolling, don't slink away when the suggestions they give you doesn't match your lifestyle preferences. Doctors' suggestions rarely make an alcoholic happy. Stay strong, we're here - and all the best as you start your journey into a better life.

least

I used to drink at work too. I had a cleaning business and would show up half drunk and do a sloppy job just to go home and drink some more.

Good news is that you can stop drinking and live a decent life. Getting help from the doctor is a smart move. When you want to be sober more than you want to drink, you'll be able to stay sober.

kittycat3

You are not alone. Do not beat yourself up for this, drinking at work is not going to differentiate you here (sorry, ha.) but can you do anything before Friday? I'm worried you will jeopardize your job. You need help. Can you get referred to another clinic? Please don't drive either. There are other options. We are here to help, many of us here have faced similar circumstances.

Ruby2

I used to drink at lunch. I'm darn lucky I wasn't caught because it's instant termination. If you are drinking at work to maintain, honestly, I'd suggest taking the rest of the week off and go to the ER and tell them you need detox. Or at least make arrangements to take time off and go to detox. Work doesn't need to know why.

Good luck.

Carlotta

I second what Ruby said.
I never drank at work but it sounds absolutely nerve shattering.
Anyway, I just wanted to welcome you to SR, give you a hug and tell you that you never have to feel like that again.

Dee74

Hi Amy

I didn't work in an office situation for most of my working career - but I definitely drank at work - it's weird what you can convince yourself is 'normal'.

Try your best to have a few days sober, and best wishes at the Drs on Friday

D

Venecia

Amy,

Ruby offers you very sound advice, which I hope you'll heed. The concern you raised about a DUI means other people are at risk when you're on the road.

Please go to the ER and start the process toward gaining sobriety. It will be the first step toward a much better life. But it requires your initiative.

Best to you.

Tamerua

Can you call your EAP line at work? They could help with offering resources, maybe get you started on the right path.

Ruby2

I wanted to add that I did check myself in for detox when it got that bad. I was scared to but honestly, it was the best thing I ever did. It was a huge relief that I didn't have to drink. Please consider it.

QuietToday

I did this also when I was at my utmost worst two years ago. I eventually got so bad with it that I'd come to whatever overnight job I currently had drunk, parking my car usually awfully, then punch in, go to the bathroom and sleep for an hour before waking up and drinking from a short whiskey and wine kept in a water bottle during the night.

It was really bad, but I, myself, was really awful during this phase. I'd work jobs just long enough for unemployment and then get fired for slacking; I didn't care about living on not enough money because I had moved back in with my mother and felt no responsibility towards anything. I'd given up, or lost, all of the good things I had for drinking, and I know very well now that it wasn't worth it.

I know this isn't your story, as you have and are aware of your responsibilities--- so embrace them more tightly! You haven't left everything behind so to "allow" a drunken life; you've got a lot to live soberly for, a lot of good things to live soberly for.
Remember all of these things you are gambling every time you wish to drink at work (or at all!); you've got a lot of excellent reasons to live a clear and sober life!

Berrybean

I agree with Ruby 2. Going into work is more likely to cause problems that solve them at this point. Phone in sick. If you have to tell them what's wrong with you you can describe the nausia, sweats and shakes. They'll probably surmise you have flu or something and you will have still been honest. If you're off work maybe you can call the docs again and see if they have a cancellation and can see you earlier. Tell them it's an emergency. It is.

Wishing you hope and strength.

SteveJr

I agree. Good advice from Ruby & others. I remember the sleepless nights & anxiety, the insanity of trying to go to sleep without liquor, but ended up "having" to drink bc my body was so used to it. A living Hell. Nearly a DUI crash later, being called into my directors office while intoxicated. By Gods grace, they forced me into a leave of absence instead of firing me. Looking back, a smarter move would've been making a beeline to the ER ASAP & seeking detox under medical supervision. The alternative is too risky. Best wishes to you whichever way you choose.

AGAGONNHOJ

I agree with pretty much all what the others have said - you're lucky, dealing with this in the west, where there are services available to help you detox, doctors who can sign you off sick for a bit while you deal with this, ER's and suchlike.

It's been a challenge for me, to say the least, dealing with this here in Thailand - drinking is definitely part of the lifestyle here, big time, especially among foreigner travellers/backpackers. And alcohol services here are few and far between, whether Thai-speaking or English-speaking (though the support and guidance from the monks of Wat Tam Wua, one of my homes here, has been absolutely invaluable).

So basically - if you've got an ER near-ish to you, get yourself there, tell them the situation and that you need help now.

Right now.

Kevin78

Amy, I hope you get help sooner rather than later. Your recovery is more important than work. Please do not drive also. It's not worth the risk.

Take Care.

lunar

Hmmmm... An idiot like myself.
I was sent to work at a family business
at about age 12 during summers.
I got to hang out with
the "older guys". How cool.
Cigarettes, beers, weed, etc.
Eventually I became part owner.
My own boss. From having a beer
after work, led into having a pint of
vodka in my jacket all day long.
I was a jackass.
Drinking while dealing with my
customers.
At least vodka has no smell, right?
Glad those days are over.

chickippo

yeah, i drank at work. booze on my desk in a vitamin water bottle.

the job was the first thing to go. the rest of my life followed.

i don't work any more. i don't drink any more either. you need medical help.

be well.