Several days shy of 6 months sobriety
11.30.14
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: California
Posts: 401
Several days shy of 6 months sobriety
I decided to post this in hopes that someone will find a nugget of hope to help them on their journey with sobriety.
I'm going to put my thoughts into a list format versus paragraphs for simplicity sake.
1. I was a complete mess, hanging off of the edge of a cliff late last year. Drinking heavily every night and gobbling xanax during the day to offset withdrawal symptoms. My son's untimely death sent me into a spiral right into the depths of hell.
2. I went into my 3rd medical detox (over a 15 year period) on 11/30. They say each detox gets progressively worse with each relapse. This was correct in my case. Where my first two medical detoxes were a piece of cake - this time my BP went into the stratosphere, I had crazy anxiety, heart racing, sweats, limbs shaking uncontrollably and I actually had my first hallucination on the 3rd day in the hospital. All of this while on heavy doses of Serax.
3. After my hospital stay, I tried AA and found that it did not resonate with me. I believe everyone needs to find their own modality of recovery. Sobriety is a personal journey and is not a one size fits all situation. That's just my personal opinion, sorry if others disagree.
4. My support system is my family and other recovering alcoholics and addicts. Also, the constant reminder of my son's struggle with his addiction and alcoholism and his eventual death due to his addiction, keeps me bound to my sobriety. I made a commitment to him posthumous.
5. I see a therapist once a week to work through my grief, depression, anxiety and PTSD issues. I believe therapy has kept me from having to be medicated in some way. Thank goodness.
6. The first couple of months of sobriety were rough. The lack of sleep, mood swings and crazy thoughts were just about enough sometimes. Right when I was about to give up, I would turn a corner and feel so much better. The corners came faster as sobriety progressed. I no longer had constant anxiety, I could actually fall asleep without being buzzed and most importantly, I wasn't constantly obsessed with drinking either.
7. While I'm almost 6 months sober, I still treat my alcoholism as one day at a time. 24 hours of sobriety. I live for today and what I can possibly do today to keep myself on the path of sobriety. If I trip about next week, well, I'm tripping and likely to get totally anxious all about tripping
I'm going to put my thoughts into a list format versus paragraphs for simplicity sake.
1. I was a complete mess, hanging off of the edge of a cliff late last year. Drinking heavily every night and gobbling xanax during the day to offset withdrawal symptoms. My son's untimely death sent me into a spiral right into the depths of hell.
2. I went into my 3rd medical detox (over a 15 year period) on 11/30. They say each detox gets progressively worse with each relapse. This was correct in my case. Where my first two medical detoxes were a piece of cake - this time my BP went into the stratosphere, I had crazy anxiety, heart racing, sweats, limbs shaking uncontrollably and I actually had my first hallucination on the 3rd day in the hospital. All of this while on heavy doses of Serax.
3. After my hospital stay, I tried AA and found that it did not resonate with me. I believe everyone needs to find their own modality of recovery. Sobriety is a personal journey and is not a one size fits all situation. That's just my personal opinion, sorry if others disagree.
4. My support system is my family and other recovering alcoholics and addicts. Also, the constant reminder of my son's struggle with his addiction and alcoholism and his eventual death due to his addiction, keeps me bound to my sobriety. I made a commitment to him posthumous.
5. I see a therapist once a week to work through my grief, depression, anxiety and PTSD issues. I believe therapy has kept me from having to be medicated in some way. Thank goodness.
6. The first couple of months of sobriety were rough. The lack of sleep, mood swings and crazy thoughts were just about enough sometimes. Right when I was about to give up, I would turn a corner and feel so much better. The corners came faster as sobriety progressed. I no longer had constant anxiety, I could actually fall asleep without being buzzed and most importantly, I wasn't constantly obsessed with drinking either.
7. While I'm almost 6 months sober, I still treat my alcoholism as one day at a time. 24 hours of sobriety. I live for today and what I can possibly do today to keep myself on the path of sobriety. If I trip about next week, well, I'm tripping and likely to get totally anxious all about tripping
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