I faltered...faltered...and finally failed
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Sorry for your troubles, ArtFriend. I'm going through a minor version of that with my family (mom & siblings). We've always been a pretty close family but I'm getting to the point where I just can't deal with their $hit anymore. I think the answer is the same for both of us, ArtFriend- we each need to put some distance between us and the ones that are driving us nuts.
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by ArtFriend 
I am here with my tail between my legs. Feeling mentally, emotionally and physically like crap. Happy hump day
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Hang in here Art. Please don't let that shame and guilt cause you to drink again. Shame and fear are the 2 reasons people relapse/drink/drug etc. according to a study I just read.
You haven't failed if you are still trying.
I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. (((Hug)))
You haven't failed if you are still trying.
I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. (((Hug)))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Hi Artfriend,
I am sorry you are struggling.
When I was in the hospital after drinking myself sick, the doctor who saved my life told me two things that have stuck with me. He said if I have another drink I will die, and if I want any kind of success in this not drinking, then I must figure out my relationship with my mother. While I was in rehab I began to really understand the first, and two days out of rehab I was just barely beginning to realize the second.
I had to break up with my mother otherwise I knew I wasn't going to stay sober. We stopped contact and I didn't know if or when we would ever talk again. I spent my first sober holidays alone. And that was fine, because I was sober. It was quite a few months before we slowly began to communicate again. And that slow communication evolved into a completely different relationship with her, and my family for that matter.
It is actually better now.
I hope you get back on track soon!
I am sorry you are struggling.
When I was in the hospital after drinking myself sick, the doctor who saved my life told me two things that have stuck with me. He said if I have another drink I will die, and if I want any kind of success in this not drinking, then I must figure out my relationship with my mother. While I was in rehab I began to really understand the first, and two days out of rehab I was just barely beginning to realize the second.
I had to break up with my mother otherwise I knew I wasn't going to stay sober. We stopped contact and I didn't know if or when we would ever talk again. I spent my first sober holidays alone. And that was fine, because I was sober. It was quite a few months before we slowly began to communicate again. And that slow communication evolved into a completely different relationship with her, and my family for that matter.
It is actually better now.
I hope you get back on track soon!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Serenidad - you must be reading my mind. I am feeling ashamed of caving last night as well as some fear that I may not be able to lick this thing. Anger is in the mix as well.
Interestingly last night I dreamt that someone was going to saw my right arm off at the shoulder. Very scary. I wonder if that has anything to do with my drinking?
Interestingly last night I dreamt that someone was going to saw my right arm off at the shoulder. Very scary. I wonder if that has anything to do with my drinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Originally Posted by Olive1
Hi Artfriend,
I am sorry you are struggling.
When I was in the hospital after drinking myself sick, the doctor who saved my life told me two things that have stuck with me. He said if I have another drink I will die, and if I want any kind of success in this not drinking, then I must figure out my relationship with my mother. While I was in rehab I began to really understand the first, and two days out of rehab I was just barely beginning to realize the second.
I had to break up with my mother otherwise I knew I wasn't going to stay sober. We stopped contact and I didn't know if or when we would ever talk again. I spent my first sober holidays alone. And that was fine, because I was sober. It was quite a few months before we slowly began to communicate again. And that slow communication evolved into a completely different relationship with her, and my family for that matter.
It is actually better now.
I hope you get back on track soon!
I am sorry you are struggling.
When I was in the hospital after drinking myself sick, the doctor who saved my life told me two things that have stuck with me. He said if I have another drink I will die, and if I want any kind of success in this not drinking, then I must figure out my relationship with my mother. While I was in rehab I began to really understand the first, and two days out of rehab I was just barely beginning to realize the second.
I had to break up with my mother otherwise I knew I wasn't going to stay sober. We stopped contact and I didn't know if or when we would ever talk again. I spent my first sober holidays alone. And that was fine, because I was sober. It was quite a few months before we slowly began to communicate again. And that slow communication evolved into a completely different relationship with her, and my family for that matter.
It is actually better now.
I hope you get back on track soon!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Hey AF, time to get back on the bicycle. You know the drill.
Others have said it better, but sometimes family, friends or a toxic relationship are something we need to avoid until we can sort ourselves out?
Others have said it better, but sometimes family, friends or a toxic relationship are something we need to avoid until we can sort ourselves out?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by ArtFriend
I got a call from my super holier-than-thou brother. He is Christ incarnate. Sits at the right hand of god and all that. We argued over many many things... including my mother, whom he has banished to hell. She was a heathen, heretic, idolater and all that bull. Why are so called Christians so cruel?
I'm sorry you drank again.... Time to return to sobriety?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by ArtFriend
Serenidad - you must be reading my mind. I am feeling ashamed of caving last night as well as some fear that I may not be able to lick this thing. Anger is in the mix as well.
Interestingly last night I dreamt that someone was going to saw my right arm off at the shoulder. Very scary. I wonder if that has anything to do with my drinking?
Interestingly last night I dreamt that someone was going to saw my right arm off at the shoulder. Very scary. I wonder if that has anything to do with my drinking?
The dreams could certainly be affected by the alcohol, usually each return to drinking yields less and less favorable results.
Why not make today the day you fully commit to and accept that drinking is simply not an option for you anymore? And pledge to do whatever it takes to make that happen? Your family cannot "make" you drink...YOU make the decision to drink. What is missing is the framework to help you make the decision to not pick up.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by ArtFriend
what do you mean by "framework" Scott?
Most likely there will be something about ANY of those plans that you do not agree with or that you do not want to do. In order for them to work however, you will have to accept that and do those things. There is no "perfect" solution or magic pill/therapy/book that can simply make you "not an alcholic" anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Organized religion is the cause of so much pain, anguish and wars, it's a shame, because it doesn`t have to be that way. But, you are stronger then that, you are here. Learn from this and work on your plan for the next time. Everyone will have their own opinion on how the world go around. Work on yourself and get ready to protect yourself again the next onslaught of attacks to your self worth! Stay strong, you got this.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
