TroyW

It looks like you just lost your wife and daughter, yet not really once in any of these recent posts have you mentioned them, at least not seriously.

Pick up the phone, and call the Salvation Army. Or better yet, just head over there in person.

Chilledice

I am not trying to judge you here but it really seems that this is the absolute rock bottom you have reached, maybe it is time to try methods of recovery that you might have been reluctant to try in the past?

Thatdeliveryguy

Completely incorrect the wife is here and despite my setbacks, I've been doing well with CPS and my daughter is not lost.

ScottFromWI

There have been literally thousands of positive, supportive, helpful replies to you TDG, quite possibly more than anyone I can remeber here on SR. You play the self pity game with masterful skill.....why not apply some of that to recovery.

Irnldy001

TDG
I'm not here to be negative - not by a long shot.
As far as AA goes, yes, I go. But I too do not fall into the religious category. I found my higher power, and it's the people around me. In AA they do say, believe in a higher power as YOU define it. My own sponsor told me sincerely, take what you need from AA and leave the rest. For me that is fellowship with fellow ex-drunks, hearing their stories and pitfalls, and hearing their triumphs. Both inspire me.
I have thought of giving up many times over the years, but I'm still here. Still kicking. Obviously it wasn't my time to let go. And then my brain finally switched into the on position. Now that it's on sometimes I wish it would shut the heck up!
I have lived in shame, misery, despair, guilt, depression, anxiety, panic, melodrama, you name it. I see them all in my rear view mirror now. I acknowledge that they all use to dwell here, but they've been evicted.
What happens with your wife and child will be. You cannot control that in your place and state. What you can control is what you do this second, and then the second after that. That's it. That's your whole job. You keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don't think beyond that. That's the problem with too much time to think about it all. I nearly drowned in self-pity. And then I got up and got going.
I wasn't easy and I was a chronic relapser. It's not easy, and it's clearly taking everything out of you.
How about you take five minutes to just sit with your eyes closed, and just breathe in and out. Dismiss any thoughts that come to mind. Just try a little bit of being present in your body. As I'm not religious, I find that just forcing my mind to be quiet is sometimes the magic kick that I need in my rear. Have a tiny goal each day. The start of a plan.
You are still here. Only you and the universe know why, and likely not even you. But you will know one day if you give yourself the grace you have been unwilling to show yourself. Once you learn to treat yourself with kindness, you'll be amazed the kindness that can come back.
That's just me, just saying.

Irnldy001

To be honest TDG, I don't really know the full details of your situation, but please read my post right above your last one.

Thatdeliveryguy

Irnldy001 thank you friend. Very supportive, I love what you said. The idea I have not control over anything but what I do is what I need to hear.

Dee74

Ok Guys - I've had to remove several inappropriate posts.

Please remember this is the newcomers forum - this maybe someone's first experience of SR.

Straight shooting is fine - when it's constructive. Let's not make it mean.

Anyone is free to skip this thread, or use the ignore function.

Dee
Moderator
SR

Verte

Then, are you letting go of or giving your family away? You sure as heck are not fighting for yourself or your family despite having no qualms over the last year asking everyone around you to do so. What's up with this? You are repeatedly, actively choosing helplessness despite now having more amazing resources at your fingertips. More opportunities squandered. There is no romantic reasoning or tragedy. It is terribly sad - a story that appears to feed your alcohol and gambling addiction like a completely separate addiction unto itself.

May your daughter never suffer or blame herself for a single moment of her beautiful life. I will now exercise the 'ignore' feature and go for a run.

thomas11

Hi TDG, I just have a simple comment. Not being fully aware of your complete history on SR, as long your heart is beating and you do not give up, you deserve at least a modicum of support and encouragement. Heck, we could do this dance for long time, but it doesn't mean anyone should throw in the towel on you. Desire and action are 2 different things. The desire is there...when its gone, I see real danger.

RobbyRobot

It's never easy to witness how alcohol so uncaringly is able to destroy lives for no better reason than simply to be drinking alcohol. It's sad beyond reason of course, but we cannot force others to action and help themselves. The best we can do is help them realize helping themselves is the single greatest action to be taken. Unfortunately when some apparently believe they are doing okay even as they continue to worsen, there is little we can do but continue to be as directly supportive as we are able. In my years working with street alcoholics and addicts, many simply couldn't see past one day to the next, so when they had a few good days of sobriety, they really couldn't appreciate they had just barely begun their journey. They didn't really believe they were quitting on themselves when they picked up that next drink. They just saw themselves as making a mistake in judgment. They really didn't add up all the "mistakes" and see what was really happening.

There is no real answer for such circumstances except to stop drinking.

thomas11

TDG, this post is not directed at you but rather in addition to what robbyrobot said above. When it comes to addiction to drugs and alcohol, and the end of the day, some make it....some don't. It that harsh, yes. Is it true, yes.

Sisterbobby

TDG
I believe SR has turned into an abusive game for you on to us readers. You start a new thread every few days and spew out nonsensical poetry. SR are for members seeking help. Your words are illogical to you and your disease.
Please join a class here so you can get more one on one help and take a writing class, go write yourself a book...get into sync with your words...

You are a great writer, stop entertaining SR with your poetry. Get a plan.....

Carlotta

The thing is Bobby that people who join a class, the 24 hours recovery connections, Weasel's weekenders or any other group support thread do not get to be the center of attention and do not believe that they are terminally unique.
Posting on the class of January or May or whatever is being part of a team and unlike starting your own thread it will not guarantee you the spotlight.

Dee74

Ok I think we'll leave things there.

Thread Closed.

Dee
Moderator
SR