waveridermke

Hey, guys.

I sipped some wine today. I feel lightheaded, but warm and fuzzy. It's not unpleasant. I did this right after having a conversation with some close friends about how terrible drinking was for me... but I drank some any way.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Advice?

-Lisa

Dee74

I'd take it as a pretty good reminder that you're still an alcoholic Lisa
What have you been doing recovery wise lately?

D

waveridermke

Hi, Dee.

I think you're right.

I haven't been doing much these past two weeks. I've become so absorbed in schoolwork that I haven't been reaching out to my sponsor or focusing on my steps. I told myself that I would get back to it once the semester was over.

My sponsor has been pretty unrelenting when it comes to working the steps. I don't blame her for wanting me to progress quickly, but in combination of completing the semester, I felt overwhelmed. I was four months in and on Step 8. I guess that's neither here nor there, since my sobriety is ultimately my responsibility.

-Lisa

Gottalife

Four months in and on step eight is pretty good progress. Not many get that far. It seems that perhaps something might have been missed in the earlier steps. If you want a permanent end to the misery of the alcoholic life, I suggest you sit down with your sponsor and review what happened. It may be that your priorities changed.

Perhaps you didn't want an end to the misery as much as you thought you did, or perhaps, like many of us after a spell of sobriety, the problem did not seem so bad after all. Talk it over with your sponsor and see what lessons can be learned.

JaneLane

I actually did a similar thing week before last. I didn't have much sober time anyway but a friend bought a bottle of wine into my home, poured me a glass despite knowing I wasn't going to drink and I ended up having three sips. Obviously, I didn't feel anything after drinking so little, just a craving for more more more! I tipped away the glass, got my friend and the bottle out the house and that was that.

For me, it served as a reminder that I hadn't made a full decision to never drink again. I do deal with things a day at a time now, but I think of myself as someone that just doesn't drink alcohol and that state of mind kind of helps me feel like I'm just not participating in the alcohol thing, as opposed to denying myself from something I want.

Maybe have a look at your plan with your sponsor. Sometimes it's helpful to get a different point of view :-)

IOAA2

Hi Lisa.

This is alcoholism, our mental processing is askew and alcohol, powerful, baffling, cunning and progressive takes over.
I was taught, being undisciplined, that sobriety is my # 1 goal before family, work, school and on and on.
If I don’t have sobriety all other bets are off and those things are lost.

A suggestion that very often works is seeing/calling your sponsor before picking up the first drink, that’s also what they are for.

I hope you can hang in there.

BE WELL