Can anyone tell me how to stay sober?
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: East Coast
Posts: 543
I get the "one glass of wine" concept. I really do. Progress not perfection. As someone said, though, the step from one to zero is small.
I'm with you Hamartia. We can do this. My trigger will come this evening. The plan is for ceremonial green tea, matcha, instead of the wine in Waterford.
I'm with you Hamartia. We can do this. My trigger will come this evening. The plan is for ceremonial green tea, matcha, instead of the wine in Waterford.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by buk1000 
I made the decision, albeit it halfheartedly. Through 2 years I was on and off and gained some experience about how hard it really was and what worked and what didn't. I also got my 2nd and 3rd DUI. I've never heard an alcoholic say he/she simply stopped drinking one day and it was easy.
You are as strong as I am. I felt exactly the way you feel right now. I've been sober for 15 years. You can do this.
You are as strong as I am. I felt exactly the way you feel right now. I've been sober for 15 years. You can do this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 95
You are right, freshstart, in that alcohol doesn't help anymore -- it never did. But getting that in my head has been difficult. I am dying for a drink right now -- so stressed about a meeting I have to go to in a few minutes. But if I took a drink, I would be done for -- absolutely finished and destroyed. Somehow, I know that, and I will not cross that line.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 95
Tempe -- Did you enjoy the tea? Did you make it? If I could do one glass of wine, I would -- I cannot! I just cannot do that. Glad you're with me here, 'cause I'm dying to have a drink right this minute, but I am not going to do that.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: East Coast
Posts: 543
Hamartia, I really wanted a glass of Chardonnay tonight. Wasn't feeling sick and thought i could have just one. Wanted to believe I could. And maybe I could have. But that's not my usual pattern. 1 turns into 3 or 4.
So I took a shower, made some chamomile tea and went to bed early. Can't have wine if I'm asleep. I'm turning in now. Stay strong. You can do this.
So I took a shower, made some chamomile tea and went to bed early. Can't have wine if I'm asleep. I'm turning in now. Stay strong. You can do this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 95
You Rock!!! You are doing this. That is exactly what I try to tell myself, I will just have one glass of wine -- really -- I can do this. (Has never happened -- one glass turns into 3 or 4). My weight has suffered because of the added calories, too. Hope we can talk tomorrow.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hamartia, hope you're doing well today. I saw your post that you wanted a drink, you were stressed about a work meeting. What about it was stressful that triggered the drinking thought? These are the sorts of things I had to think about when I quit. And in facing them I grew in my confidence to stay sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 95
Thank you to all who responded to my cries for help last night. I still do not have any idea how to do this -- how to quit drinking. This is the worst battle of my life. You who have quit drinking -- you are heroes to me! The wine -- the alcohol is slowly working its way into my work day. It doesn't seem so bad to have a glass of wine at 11:00 a.m! How crazy is that! I do not want to pity myself, I did this -- no one else! I just don't know if I can do this -- My father couldn't and it destroyed his life -- and I consider myself a smart woman? I am following in his footsteps, and I always hated the fact that he was never there for me-- now I know why. I have to make a plan -- something that I will follow. What can possibly take the place of alcohol?
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Extremely dark chocolate, a square or two, often kills an urge for me. Ice cream has worked also. I didn't worry about the calories at all, whatever it took not to drink. I still have lost a size!
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
I know it is very difficult to do this by yourself. The recovery plans that others have given to you early in this thread really do work. But you have to do the action, it won't just happen. AA/SMART both are great recovery tools. By doing those - you are not saying you are weak. You are actually saying you are strong enough to do whatever it takes. When you're ready to do that - it really does get easier. Action. You can't just say - I'm not going to drink anymore and think that you won't. What can take the place? Doing the work. Hugs to you, Hamartia.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Hamartia, have you ever considered rehab? I know that sounds drastic but hear me out. I fought going for years and when I finally went, it was so much better than I'd dreamed. I was like you, couldn't imagine a day -- much less a month - without alcohol. AA made me cringe. I found a non 12 step place that was wonderful, and made me realize I had the power within to stop my self-destructive behaviors. I have 4 kids so it was not easy to go. I've been sober for over a year now and feel great. You CAN do this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
I felt just like you. Some nights I dreaded going home as I carried yet another bottle of pinot noir into the house - knowing I would drink the whole thing, and have to slog through another stressful day at work hungover, anxious, tired and fighting like hell to seem "normal".
Eight months on Nov 15 since my last drink, and my life has been transformed. Truly - from the inside out.
I do it one day at a time. "Today, no matter what happens, I will not drink."
Eight months on Nov 15 since my last drink, and my life has been transformed. Truly - from the inside out.
I do it one day at a time. "Today, no matter what happens, I will not drink."
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