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Sober since 493 days and it comes and goes.

Old 05-09-2015, 05:04 PM
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Exclamation Sober since 493 days and it comes and goes.

Nowadays I kind of miss drinking. I am wondering if I can just take a glass or two. I was never an alcoholic but an abusive drinker. These last months it comes and goes. I miss the tipsy moments. Then I try to remember the hangovers. But how can I know. I never tried. Maybe I can have just couple of glasses and stop. What happened with me is during this period I also became a vegetarian (this happened step by step) So most of the times I feel so healthy and clean but some times I feel I am so out of everything. I hardly go out. I always want to stay home. When I do, I want to come back immediately. One side of me feels satisfied so much while the other feels so gray. It is nowadays that I want to drink and listen to music. In other words want to get high.
Can I have some support. It helps...
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Old 05-09-2015, 05:10 PM
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Hello Mia1972, congrats on 493 days! It's a great accomplishment!

I wish you good luck with keeping things on track. You can do this!
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Old 05-09-2015, 05:11 PM
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Mia,
I would give anything to give as many days as you have. Nothing good will come out of any alcohol. Try to distract yourself tonight and keep posting, or go for a walk. Just don't have the first.
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Old 05-09-2015, 05:13 PM
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Hi Mia

Only you can diagnose yourself as an alcoholic but I have to say I have my doubts whether someone who has abused alcohol in the past (on any level) can then deal healthily with it.

What is it in your life that's missing that you think alcohol could bring back to you?

Is that a realistic expectation?

are there healthier more positive ways to get what you want?

493 days is awesome going. I'd hate for you to turn around now.
There are no answers back the way you came, Mia.
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Old 05-09-2015, 05:45 PM
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Hi Mia,

I don't know whether or not you're an alcoholic but it sounds like alcohol was causing problems in your life. Congratulations on 493 sober, and I hope you stay on the path of recovery.
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Old 05-09-2015, 10:24 PM
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I would bet that you did kinda try at times to drink like everyone else and ended up drinking way more than you planned. I tried many times to drink less but once that first drink went down I wanted to continue drinking until I reached the point of drunkenness.

Something led you to get to 493 days without alcohol (which is amazing). I figure if we ever could have moderated our drinking we never would have stopped. We just would've moderated.
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Old 05-10-2015, 03:53 AM
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Dee said it!

When I have these thoughts I think; 'but why?'

Then I think of all the authentic life I've lived in the last 497 days and I think of all that has meant to me and the example I set for my children and for those who still suffer with addiction. I think of love and connection and emotional awareness. I think of who I have been and who I am becoming. I think of all the stories - here, in AA, in the daily news- I think of the vast difference between Now and the man I woke up to on that last hangover.....

And I realize that no tipsy buzz, no falsely-created 'great time', no biting taste of alcohol will ever be worth losing what I have found.
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