Can someone explain "surrendering" and how you took action?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 136
I have to reply one more time. Gottalife, you have no idea how your post spoke to me. I just had an epiphany. IT'S A SPIRITUAL PROGRAM!!!!!
Oh what a relief. I have heard the words "it's a spiritual program" a thousand times. I think I'm finally getting it. Thank you for your words.
Oh what a relief. I have heard the words "it's a spiritual program" a thousand times. I think I'm finally getting it. Thank you for your words.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Well thats the 1st step. It has 3 parts. 1. Honesty 2. Surrender and 3. Acceptance. We need to get honest with ourselves and surrender to the fact that we cannot drink moderately. That we cannot control our drinking. That our alcoholism has us beat! Lastly its acceptance. Accepting that we are alcoholics. Its just the truth for me. Im an alcoholic and i cannot change that. Hope it helps!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
Plain and simple for me is Acceptance. Once I finally accepted that drinking was absolutely positively no longer an option and I was willing to go to any lengths to get sober it became so much easier. I also think surrendering is wanting to be sober more than wanting to be wasted and slip into cocoon of alcoholism that allowed me not to have to deal with the things life throws at you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Literally just finished reading the AA daily reflection then saw this thread, so thought I'd share. I love the bird analogy and the mental image it creates for me.
3 June
ON A WING AND A PRAYER
. . . we then look at Step Six . We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76
Steps Four and Five were difficult, but worthwhile. Now I was stuck on Step Six and, in despair, I picked up the Big Book and read this passage. I was outside, praying for willingness, when I raised my eyes and saw a huge bird rising in the sky. I watched it suddenly give itself up to the powerful air currents of the mountains. Swept along, swooping and soaring, the bird did things seemingly impossible for mortal birds to do. It was an inspiring example of a fellow creature "letting go" to a power greater than itself. I realized that if the bird "took back his will" and tried to fly with less trust, on its power alone, it would spoil its apparent free flight. That insight granted me the willingness to pray the Seventh Step prayer.
It's not easy to know God's will in each circumstance. I must search out and be ready for the currents, and that's where prayer and meditation help! Because I am, of myself, nothing, I ask God to grant me the knowledge of His will and the power and courage to carry it out-today.
3 June
ON A WING AND A PRAYER
. . . we then look at Step Six . We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76
Steps Four and Five were difficult, but worthwhile. Now I was stuck on Step Six and, in despair, I picked up the Big Book and read this passage. I was outside, praying for willingness, when I raised my eyes and saw a huge bird rising in the sky. I watched it suddenly give itself up to the powerful air currents of the mountains. Swept along, swooping and soaring, the bird did things seemingly impossible for mortal birds to do. It was an inspiring example of a fellow creature "letting go" to a power greater than itself. I realized that if the bird "took back his will" and tried to fly with less trust, on its power alone, it would spoil its apparent free flight. That insight granted me the willingness to pray the Seventh Step prayer.
It's not easy to know God's will in each circumstance. I must search out and be ready for the currents, and that's where prayer and meditation help! Because I am, of myself, nothing, I ask God to grant me the knowledge of His will and the power and courage to carry it out-today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Mountains of WV U.S.of A.
Posts: 34
for me "Can someone explain "surrendering" and how you took action?" is when I got tired of being sick and tired back some 12 years ago and spoke to a God I did not know and related by stating either verbally or mentally which I do not recall by saying: "ok God if you would have me,the good and the Bad I give up! (I was desperate as my Way availed no positive direction.)
mind you once my sponsor told me to pray (3 months earlier) in my mind I'm thinking oh **** no,not gonna happen,but I seen no other way for me,either spiritual or drink and die and the magic of the drink and drug lost it's buzz or high for me,no way to turn the noises or voices off anymore,what was I to do?
as a result of turning it over "surrendering" I felt a relief mentally,physically and unknown to me at the time I became spiritual.
it was as if the weight of the world was lifted from my being.
funny thing is nothing of myself was took or removed other then the misery of running the show,I no longer was in control, as a direct result I have tapped into a source of strength,power,love,ect... that seems to me to be unlimited in scope.
the God I knew not is known to me through nature,the seasons,those of us that used to take,lie and steal giving of ourselves to bring this message of hope to those that may be looking "for a way out" which I never allowed to believe.
I'm Not God,There is a God,Thank God
(Good orderly direction)
(Group of drunks)
P.S. heard in an AA meeting once,
"the 12 step program is a program to God for dummies"
at the time I listened I did not concur,but I do so now.
I hope this post will assist those in need and I need all the help I can get.
noprob
-eof
mind you once my sponsor told me to pray (3 months earlier) in my mind I'm thinking oh **** no,not gonna happen,but I seen no other way for me,either spiritual or drink and die and the magic of the drink and drug lost it's buzz or high for me,no way to turn the noises or voices off anymore,what was I to do?
as a result of turning it over "surrendering" I felt a relief mentally,physically and unknown to me at the time I became spiritual.
it was as if the weight of the world was lifted from my being.
funny thing is nothing of myself was took or removed other then the misery of running the show,I no longer was in control, as a direct result I have tapped into a source of strength,power,love,ect... that seems to me to be unlimited in scope.
the God I knew not is known to me through nature,the seasons,those of us that used to take,lie and steal giving of ourselves to bring this message of hope to those that may be looking "for a way out" which I never allowed to believe.
I'm Not God,There is a God,Thank God
(Good orderly direction)
(Group of drunks)
P.S. heard in an AA meeting once,
"the 12 step program is a program to God for dummies"
at the time I listened I did not concur,but I do so now.
I hope this post will assist those in need and I need all the help I can get.
noprob
-eof
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Interesting! I had not thought about "surrender" in a very long time!!
I would say for me "surrendering" was finally like "letting the air out of a balloon" . No longer needing to keep everything in, no longer fighting to convince myself I wasn't a drunk, no longer actually being stupid enough to think I was controlling the alcohol , it was not controlling me.
I had blown so much hot air into that balloon so that I could maintain control of my life from the prying eyes of others---God forbid I would ask for help ,I was too proud to ever admit that.
One day Pride gave way to exhaustion and I finally had to surrender (let that air out of the balloon). I just admitted I was pathetic and in need of changing my life. It was ME changing ME--no one else could have done it For me.
The relief of letting that air out was the first step in my new Life without alcohol. Been 27 years and still am loving sober life, and happy I have a life to love, LOL!
Thanks for the great question!
TrixMixer
I would say for me "surrendering" was finally like "letting the air out of a balloon" . No longer needing to keep everything in, no longer fighting to convince myself I wasn't a drunk, no longer actually being stupid enough to think I was controlling the alcohol , it was not controlling me.
I had blown so much hot air into that balloon so that I could maintain control of my life from the prying eyes of others---God forbid I would ask for help ,I was too proud to ever admit that.
One day Pride gave way to exhaustion and I finally had to surrender (let that air out of the balloon). I just admitted I was pathetic and in need of changing my life. It was ME changing ME--no one else could have done it For me.
The relief of letting that air out was the first step in my new Life without alcohol. Been 27 years and still am loving sober life, and happy I have a life to love, LOL!
Thanks for the great question!
TrixMixer
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
I think that what people are talking about is an internal shift. I think that so often when people are working with others on this, the emphasis is on how one can prove to a sponsor or a group that one has surrendered.
But sometimes there is no proof. This thread is asking about "action." But maybe it is not so much about finding some action to take that will demonstrate surrender. Rather it is about changing one's thinking and letting that internal change change behavior in its own time.
But sometimes there is no proof. This thread is asking about "action." But maybe it is not so much about finding some action to take that will demonstrate surrender. Rather it is about changing one's thinking and letting that internal change change behavior in its own time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Mountains of WV U.S.of A.
Posts: 34
near
this post is near identical to the journey to sobriety I have followed other then booze and drugs just had no effect on my mind or body anymore (no buzz or escape) and my thought was "WHAT DO I DO NOW"?
I was scared,lost and bewildered all at the same time and thought perhaps I had overlooked something spoken or shared in the rooms of AA,including the 12 step program of recovery,as a result I got a sponsor who informed me to pray, which did not bode well with my being, though I did pray not believing, to a wall and a God I had lost faith in, as a result of seeking a higher power I was sober for 3 months and came to believe in a Power greater than I that could restore my sanity which floored me.
for me it's the journey, the path of decisions acted upon that create a much better way to live then I ever could intoxicated or altered within my brain works.
take care all.
I was scared,lost and bewildered all at the same time and thought perhaps I had overlooked something spoken or shared in the rooms of AA,including the 12 step program of recovery,as a result I got a sponsor who informed me to pray, which did not bode well with my being, though I did pray not believing, to a wall and a God I had lost faith in, as a result of seeking a higher power I was sober for 3 months and came to believe in a Power greater than I that could restore my sanity which floored me.
for me it's the journey, the path of decisions acted upon that create a much better way to live then I ever could intoxicated or altered within my brain works.
take care all.
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
For me it was like a change in emphasis. Beaten to my knees with the booze, I finally realized that was a fight I could not win. It got down to two choices, keep fighting and die in the process, or live on a spiritual basis.
All my non spiritual methods had failed so there was no hope in that area, and there was no chance of me bring it all under control. So I gave up trying, and shifted my efforts to trying to develop this spiritual life about which I had no idea.
1st step, I am powerless in my own right, the rest of the action was about trying to connect with a power that could solve my problem. It wasn't about not drinking one day at a time, it was about doing what is necessary to connect with that power.
Of course I never thought it would work for me and I didn't even take a note of the date I stopped. Almost out of the blue, my sponsor called and told me I had been sober for three months, way more than I ever thought possible. All the time I had been chasing this higher power concept, it hadn't occurred to me to drink. By three months the desire was completely gone, and something much more worthwhile had taken its place.
Once again, it wasn't three months of not drinking one day at a time, it was three months of pursuing contact with a higher power ( the spiritual solutions) through the steps. I wasn't thinking about drinking or not drinking, I was thinking about the God I didn't understand.
All my non spiritual methods had failed so there was no hope in that area, and there was no chance of me bring it all under control. So I gave up trying, and shifted my efforts to trying to develop this spiritual life about which I had no idea.
1st step, I am powerless in my own right, the rest of the action was about trying to connect with a power that could solve my problem. It wasn't about not drinking one day at a time, it was about doing what is necessary to connect with that power.
Of course I never thought it would work for me and I didn't even take a note of the date I stopped. Almost out of the blue, my sponsor called and told me I had been sober for three months, way more than I ever thought possible. All the time I had been chasing this higher power concept, it hadn't occurred to me to drink. By three months the desire was completely gone, and something much more worthwhile had taken its place.
Once again, it wasn't three months of not drinking one day at a time, it was three months of pursuing contact with a higher power ( the spiritual solutions) through the steps. I wasn't thinking about drinking or not drinking, I was thinking about the God I didn't understand.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Utah
Posts: 214
took jail.. and just the fact people seen me drink who drink commented how much i drank. When I used drugs around people who used drugs commented Im over doing it.. Who are they to say I did to much Their doing it too. And the fact that I could get a pound for what someone paid for an ounce didnt help a thing. Well frak I need to be sober. I know i can go mess up
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
I didn't surrender I just stopped drinking the grog. For me it isn't I can't drink, I have decades of evidence that I can drink stunning amounts, it is that I no longer want to drink. I think reading Allen Carr and Jason Vale just solidified in me just how stupid it is to drink poison...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
Like many people, I had tried and failed the "moderation" route (which of course doesn't actually exist) numerous times. One morning I started thinking about the moderation attempt of the night before. My one or two glasses of wine had turned into the whole bottle, as usual. I could make a bottle disappear in record-breaking time. That morning, I decided that I would stop, that I had to. I had drank daily and heavily for a dozen years or more. That morning, September 22, 2014, was my "aha" moment. It wasn't easy, but wow, it was worth it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Exactly. I apply a zen perspective. The mighty oak breaks before a strong wind, the reed bends. I found resisting alcohol with all my might futile. I always broke. A more passive stance, acceptance that I can't drink, surrender without resentment, has kept me sober.
I like that. A lot.
I fought the strong winds and managed to survive the first week before my mindset changed to acceptance. It helped that I was experiencing positives to being sober after a week.
The first few days were much harder. Of course I was going through acute WD's, but also because I had a "I can't drink" mentality instead of a "I want to be sober" one.
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