RyanC

For me, speaking honestly about my drinking and drugging with you guys, and having you guys point out my stupidities has been huge.

I've really gained new perspective.

I've realized that I've been an over the top binge drinker for the last 5 years for the same reason I was an over the top pothead for 10 years prior to that:

I'm a little crazy (and I mean that affectionately).

I don't see/hear things, I'm not depressed, I'm never anxious in public, I'm not the kind of crazy that is obvious, and so no one has ever called me crazy, but something has been off with me my entire adult life (and probably before).

I've always quietly enjoyed looking at others and judging them on their flaws (not proud of that), but I never really took a look at myself before now.

It remains to be seen, but I hope and believe that really knowing myself is the last major obstacle between me and finally "growing up" like a "normal person".

Thanks again, guys.

least

I'm glad SR is helping you. That's what we're here for after all.

Midlifecrisis

I'm glad people here have been able to be of help to you.

trikyriky

SR is fantastic, isn't it. Goodluck in your journey

1stthingsfirst

That takes a lot of courage and insight to admit.

-first

Nighthawk8820

Im so much like you, in regards to judging others. I used to be a real bitch, and was known for it. For some reason I thought it was cool or made me unique, but in reality, it was a defense mechanism so I wouldn't have to deal with myself and all the hate I had for me inside. Now I am nice to everyone, because sobriety and what it takes to get to that point, is a super humbling experience. I like to remind myself constantly where I was so I dont forget over time, and to think everyone I meet has their own personal struggle and I want to be nice and make their day a little better if I can. I hope I never lose sight of that or where I was, because I like the new me so much more. You will too, the best thing you have done this week is to look inside without fear and start to examine WHY you do what you do. Its a crucial step in getting and staying sober. Look inside yourself Ryan and be brutally honest. Also, a side not, a lil crazy never hurt nobody, I find it keeps things interesting, lol.

Nuudawn

You said a mouthful there Ryan C. I came from a highly critical and judgemental origin and like a good girl, became highly critical and judgemental myself. I was critical of others and even harder on myself. I'm on the backside of my 40's and have only just figured out I have no clue who I am or what I like to do (drinking and judging others kill a lot of time).

We judge/criticize ourselves, we judge/criticize others. We understand and respect ourselves, we understand and respect others.