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-   -   Jousting with the AV (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/366680-jousting-av.html)

TENtx 05-08-2015 08:32 AM

Jousting with the AV
 
Day #3 here.

So far so good, but my toughest day is usually Monday, when I have to face many of the things I ignored while I was drinking.

Yesterday, I learned the term for my long time nemesis was "AV" and that he spoke not only to me, but many others as well.

What works for you guys with the AV, and what doesn't, and why?

countrygirl2014 05-08-2015 08:44 AM

I'm trying to think back to the beginning. The AV was loud and constant. I read a lot and started volunteering because I was able to concentrate on what I was doing instead of that voice in my head. I never allowed myself to fantasize about a drink. If that thought pops in there I immediately start thinking about stuff I need to do, then do it. When all else fails I would just go to sleep. As time went on, it grew weaker, quieter. Everything is much easier and I'm more on the preventative measures end of it. I go to my meetings, every meeting knocks that bad boy down a notch. I'm working on it.

Jennifer

JT0626 05-08-2015 08:56 AM

My AV would do "sneak attacks" with me. Right when I was feeling good about not wanting/craving alcohol, my AV would sneak in & say things like:

"You haven't drank all week....See? You don't have a problem!"
"One drink won't kill you."
"Go ahead, drink with your husband. This is quality time for you both."

There were times I literally had to say STFU out loud. It made me look crazy, but at least it shut my AV down. Just like countrygirl, I would go to bed as well.

JaneLane 05-08-2015 09:03 AM

I can relate to JTO so much.

I swear at my AV. I have no patience with it. I had an occasion last night where I went to the bathroom at a restaurant and had a bit of an argument with the AV in the bathrooms. I didn't drink, so it was a success!

Soberwolf 05-08-2015 09:09 AM

Congrats on day 3 Exellent job exposing your AV on the page i know you dont realise but what you have done here is awesome keep up the good work

TENtx 05-08-2015 09:54 AM

Thank you all, that's very helpful.

I spent 8 months trying to moderate my drinking before I realized on Tuesday I had no choice but to quit altogether, so I'm still very new to the idea of no drinking at all.

I'm afraid that drinking still sneaks into my thinking all the time just by sheer habit.

Last night, I completely embarrassed myself, all alone in my own kitchen, when I was thinking about SR and how helpful it has been for me.

I was thinking about how supportive the group was, and thinking what a shame that you guys were all over the world or we could meet and go out for a drink sometime ... wait, WTF WAS I JUST THINKING?!?!?!?!?!?

It appears I still have a lot to learn.

Nonsensical 05-08-2015 10:06 AM


Originally Posted by TENtx (Post 5360515)
What works for you guys with the AV, and what doesn't, and why?

Recognizing that everything it ever told me:
  • You can control it next time
  • Everyone drinks on the weekends, quit on Sunday, quit on Monday
  • One more time getting drunk won't matter
  • You're a loser, might as well drink
  • It's OK if no one else knows
  • You can't be happy unless you drink
  • You deserve a drink
  • Etc.
Was a lie.

In 25+ years it has not told me one true thing. Not one.

I stopped taking advice from a known liar and my life got better.

Soberwolf 05-08-2015 11:39 AM

We could all go for coffee or lunch instead (((((Tenstx)))))

ArtFriend 05-08-2015 11:40 AM

I am not sure this will help you but I have noticed that if I engross myself in something that totally absorbs my mind, the AV is non-existent. For example, I am teaching myself how to use Photoshop. There is a lot to know. So when I gt into the tutorials and videos, I'm so absorbed that I never think about drinking. I know it is hard to be engrossed 24/7, but maybe when the AV is loud, distract yourself in something.

ArtFriend 05-08-2015 11:40 AM


Originally Posted by soberwolf (Post 5360770)
We could all go for coffee or lunch instead (((((Tenstx)))))

Or even TEA! (being British and all Wolfie)

Cissy 05-08-2015 12:56 PM

:kickbutt It's not an even match. His lance is a little stubby one.

TENtx 05-08-2015 01:04 PM

Okay! Art and Wolf, a little wit out of you two. I like it!

SR has been invaluable to me for the past 3 days, but generally it's not a funny/clever place. I guess that's to be expected.

TENtx 05-08-2015 01:06 PM

Cissy, another good one! Glad to see it.

thomas11 05-08-2015 01:12 PM

Hi TEN, not sure this will help you, but for me it was very strict guidelines. And if alcohol consumption fell outside of those guidelines, it simply was not allowed. Yes, I pissed many people off because I wouldn't show up at a party, or a barbecue, etc...but rules are rules and they are not meant to be broken. It has helped me tremendously, and broken a few relationships.

Soberwolf 05-08-2015 02:28 PM

Thanks Art i only drink tea but this afternoon i had a coffee forthe first time in ages as i done a massive walk & took my dog to a secluded grasslands i know

6 miles there and back i was knackered around 3pm


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