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Can you make too many mistakes to ever come back from ;/

Old 05-06-2015, 09:04 AM
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Unhappy Can you make too many mistakes to ever come back from ;/

I am a 31 year old male that has a huge past of getting in trouble while under the influence. Just an overview, I have had multiple public intoxications and 4 dui's spread out over 10 years. I am in college now and only halfway through, but I find that even trying to get a job at the local retail store has been a problem. When they run a background check it knocks me out of the opportunity. Yesterday was a day of letting it all get too me and I could have easily picked up a drink. Does this burden of my own creation ever go away? I mean here I am trying to find a part time job while I finish school and I cant even get a high school level job. It makes the future look slim and not bright. What do I have to look forward to in the next 5 years before I can go and get these things expunged off my record? I would love to hear from anyone that has had to deal with this and has any inspiration for me. Thank You guys so much
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:10 AM
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I don't agree that there is a point of no return, if you're alive and breathing then you can turn things around!!

I've done some stupid things as a result of my drinking, but with time they have been reserved to the past, you're still only 31, there's plenty of living yet to be done, and through drawing a line under your drinking, you can write a new chapter to your life!!
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:12 AM
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I am not going to say that AA is an employment agency, but I found my job from someone at a meeting. AA will also expose you to a program for learning not to regret the past nor wish to close the door on it. Are you working the steps with a sponsor?
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:15 AM
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You may have more hurdles to get over than someone without a background but nothing is hopeless. Keep your nose clean. Keep going to school. Keep learning and growing. The further you get from you last arrest, the better you are. Make sure it all stays in the rear view mirror.

Does your school have a guidance or career counselor? Check social service resources for job assistance for ex offenders.

Just don't drink. You have so many positives going.
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:34 AM
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You are here seeking help, that means that there is definitely hope. Regarding the job thing, what about trying to find a job on the campus where you go to college? Many times there are part time/work study positions available, and it's illegal in many institutions for an employerto disqualify you based on a record unless the conviction directly affects the job.
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:39 AM
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I have no experience with your situation but want to welcome you to the site.
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Old 05-06-2015, 09:59 AM
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Thank you all for the comments. I guess I just let it get to me more at times then others. I go to a community college and this was the last week for the summer. I did get a dui last year so I don't have a license. I do depend on my roommate to get to class(she attends too). We live outside of the city where we attend school in a small country rural town. I have been looking for a Part Time job here(not alote of choices) but the jobs I've applied and interviewed for end up sending me a letter saying I'm disqualified having to do with material on my background check :/ this is the delimma I'm going through
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Old 05-06-2015, 10:09 AM
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1. Yes, it is possible to make too many mistakes to come back from.
2 No, you ain't there yet.

The most important thing is to keep from making any more mistakes. What are you doing to ensure you stay sober?
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Old 05-06-2015, 10:24 AM
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I don't have but just a few friends, so not being around people/things that tempt me isn't a big problem I deal with. Being so constricted in my situation keeps me home alote. I tried the meeting they have here in this small town once but was approached at the end by a man and was told not to share as much as I did the next time. In other words I went into details maybe too much for some to handle. So needless to say I havnt been back. The only tool that I have to use rite now is this site.
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Old 05-06-2015, 10:44 AM
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I don't think that the man you saw at the AA meeting was worried about what you were saying so much as trying to protect you. Nothing that you say in the AA meeting is legally protected so details that can harm you are best not mentioned. People unfortunately do gossip and cops can be alcoholics too. You only tell the full truth to your sponsor or someone like a priest who must keep everything private.

IMHO, the guy was looking out for you and trying to protect you. He was your friend.

Isolating is the thing I am worst at. It's probably done me more harm than alcoholism itself... I'm not talking about going to meetings but throughout life. Finding connections with other people will substantially improve your job prospects.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:05 AM
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I have 3 DUI's and I always disclose them. All misdemeanors, between 1997-1999. They have not prevented me from passing background checks with employers. Strangely, they did prevent me from enlisting in the U.S. Army in 2000 which I could not understand.

Maybe things are different now. I never even bothered to get them expunged but that might help. It took several years for my car insurance to be affordable again, I do know that.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:11 AM
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I agree with lighter. He was probably just giving you a word to the wise. Maybe he made the same mistake once and someone gossiped. It shouldn't happen, but obviously is always possible. Your sponsor would be the one person you trust with things that could land you in jail or ruin your life - so choose them carefully. I go to two different meetings regularly, so know who I can trust there. I also go to some other meetings less regularly, so am slightly more cautious about my shares at those. If I went to a completely new meeting I'd probably be even more cautious until I got to know people. Besides, I bet there were people at the meeting who'd have disagreed with him if he'd said it in front of them. It's definitely worth giving it another go.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:11 AM
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It's only hopeless if you drink.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:16 AM
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Give the world the middle finger, and start your own business.

Then you're in charge of giving people jobs, instead of vice versa.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:28 AM
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Definitely don't 'write yourself off'. I know so many people who have the most amazing jobs because they have turned their life around and have the experiences to help others.

It may not happen for a year, 2 years, a decade but if you stick to your sobriety you CAN achieve stuff
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:35 AM
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Wow, 31 years old with all this knowledge, half-way through colleges sounds like a great place to buckle down and apply the learned lessons. Of course it is not too late. My experience was very similar and I am a very happy 55 yo man that feels much younger and has abundant things for which to be grateful. I don't know how many times at your age and even before, I thought, "my life is over". I just really had not a clue that there were possibilities beyond my belief at the time. On the other side of the coin had I continued to do what I had been doing the results would have been vastly different.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:58 AM
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Something that I would do is to talk to anyone and everyone you know or meet to try to find someone who could offer you a job.

I'm sorry that it seems so discouraging but it's great that you're in school and you're here seeking support.
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Old 05-06-2015, 03:44 PM
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I've made a ton of mistakes while drinking for sure. Since 2002 I've had 3 misdemeanor DUIs and I have 1 more pending that happened this past January. I've been hired for a second job just recently and I feared I wouldn't be due to the background check. I also wrote down about my conviction that happened last July (Very rough 6 month period) and drinking of course put me on a bad path during that time for me to accumulate those DUI's. So regretful, but you can make it better it just takes time. I'm 34 with 2 jobs to pay for all the BS drinking has caused and married with 2 kids. You can get through it all! If I can so can you. I'm on day 27 of being sober and I can't wait to hit a month!
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Old 05-06-2015, 03:48 PM
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Thank you all for the advice. It helps more then you know.
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Old 05-06-2015, 03:55 PM
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I don't think there's too many mistakes you can make--- you just need to understand that there's two sides of you; the one that drinks, and the one that is sober. If you want to come back from those mistakes then understand that to succeed from them means succeeding from your drinking self. Your record will follow you, but the drunken personality won't. When you go for interviews as a sober and aware person, be up front about your past, and explain to them that that isn't who you are anymore.

I never had a record of drunken criminality, but I did have a criminal record while a juvenile; I stole from my first job, broke into cars, graffiti, and was arrested for all of this.
But I was always able to get employment by talking about my past during interviews. Now I wasn't genuine when I did this, just conning, but the point is that they were willing to believe in me as a cleaned up and able person because of my "honesty" during the interview phase.
In your case, you've hardly any work to do during the interview other than honesty; you will be genuine when you tell them you are not the person you were when those crimes happened, and someone will, eventually, listen and hire you.
It might not be easy, but it's okay; keep those applications going out, and accept every interview you can. Until someone tells you that you're starting, don't slack on searching for the job. Keep out there, and keep adamant about staying straight, and you'll get one.
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