Jobs in new sobriety

Old 05-06-2015, 08:26 AM
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Jobs in new sobriety

I recently started a new job. It turned out to be very stressful and not at all what I was expecting it to be.

I'm not sure if that's because I have unrealistic expectations or if the job is just truly bad. (Don't most people hate their jobs?)

Part of me says to suck it up and keep with it. The other part of me feels physically sick, deeply stressed, anxious, panicked, and terrified at the thought of continuing on there.

Financially, I *could* swing it if I quit. (Just barely, but it would be doable.)

I'm worried. I'll be honest here. I just simply don't know what to do. I have tried asking people both in and out of the program, and every answer I get is different.

My friends/family who are not in recovery think I am being ridiculous for even contemplating quitting the job.

As for people within the program -- I've gotten a 50/50 response. About half of them tell me to "suck it up" and that the routine and structure is good for me. The other half tell me that it's dangerous to try to do too much too soon, and that in early recovery they didn't attempt to work if they did not have to.

I have 3 days sober; today being day 4. I relapsed after work Saturday night. It was a really awful day, but that's just a BS excuse. By the time I left I was almost in tears over various stressful things at this job, and I used it as a BS excuse to relapse.

Now I'm worried that I'm using "fear of relapse" as an excuse to want to quit the job.

Anybody have any input or personal experience to share?
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:33 AM
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I'd start by saying that you are very, very early in sobriety...still potentially in the initial/acute witdhrawal phase. It's very common for your emotions to be all over the map during this the highs and the lows will be exaggerated. If you are physically able to make it to work and make it through the day consider it a victory no matter how "bad" the day goes.

It sounds cliche, but it's going to take time to normalize. A lot more than just a few days. Maybe the job is not the best one for you, and you can certainly make that decision down the road...but it's way to early to do so at this point in my opinion.

And lastly, remember that all jobs have stress and tasks that you'd rather not do...but that's why they pay you to do it, right? ;-)
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:33 AM
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I would give the job a period of time (a week or a month for example) and if after that it is still as bad as ever then it is obviously not going to get better so the decision should be more straightforward either way.

Also you could look around for another job - it always seems easier to get another job when you already have one

Congratulations on quitting Nightnday
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:34 AM
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I think it's a choice that you will have to make, whether to leave or stay.

If you do decide to quit the job, it seems like a good idea to find another job first.

Is it possible that you could detach yourself from the stress of the job as much as possible. Could you simply do what you can do each day at work and then leave the job behind as you go home?
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:35 AM
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If you can financially swing it, quit... doesn't matter if you have an addiction or not, a crappy job is a crappy job and in your case, the stress/ misery of that job isn't helping... and just because "most people" hate their jobs is not a reason to put you through that everyday!
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:49 AM
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With any job it takes me a good 6 months to learn and get to grips with it, new environment, new people, new way of doing things, it's not something that can be easily adjusted to over night, with any change of job I now give it 6 months as things usually improve!!

However at this early stage in Sobriety, that's another consideration, I had been in my current job 5 years prior to becoming Sober and it was still hell for a few months as my body adjusted physically, mentally and emotionally, then when the clouds faded I was back to my own comfortable self in my job.

Don't make any sudden decisions, give it some more time!!
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Old 05-06-2015, 10:16 AM
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Right before and for a good six months after I finally got sober I hated my job. Absolutely hated it. Crushing pointless useless rules. Thankless unappreciated work. I'd cry and scream in my car on the way home as I fought traffic. Hated and resented everyone around me and blamed them for my misery and felt ultra sorry for myself that my drinking landed me in the mire.

I have the exact same job today that I had back then. While I still think some of the rules are stupid, I appreciate that they forced me into a routine that I constantly wanted to flout. While it isn't the most glamorous job, it serves a purpose. I'm grateful I have a job. I'm grateful I have a routine.

I say stick it out if at all possible. You are so new and your emotions are still all over the place. If you quit, what will you replace it with? You will suddenly find yourself with huge stretches of time and super new sobriety. How will you fill that time? I would have gotten on the crazy train again. If you quit, I'd suggest having an extremely detailed plan in place along with real life support in place.

Things to consider
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