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Drinking dream

Old 05-06-2015, 03:26 AM
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Drinking dream

I had a drinking dream last night. I was angry so I drank. The worst part about the dream was I didn't care. I didn't care about school, my daughter...yuck...it was just a straight up selfish dream.
I think it's because my head has not been in the game and with the warm weather finally here, my AV is in high gear. I need to up my meetings and get back on track before I mess up. I've been complacent which is a bad place to be. Expect to hear from me often today and until I get myself back on track. I am not going to drink today!

Jennifer
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Old 05-06-2015, 03:32 AM
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Oh God yeah, I still get them 8 months in... Last one was I purchased a bottle of Vodka from a store & when I work up it felt so real I started searching around the house for it!!! Not to drink but to get rid of!!! Bizarre... A lot of people on here will relate to the dreams, all part of the recovery.. just remember, it's just a dream...
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Old 05-06-2015, 03:39 AM
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It was a good reality check I probably needed.

Jennifer
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Old 05-06-2015, 04:05 AM
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Dreams can be unsettling but there may not be too much you need to get back in the game as you put it. You're self -aware, you know the AV is ramping up...but you're willing to fight to stay sober.

Sounds like a pretty good position to me

what's your support like?

D
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Old 05-06-2015, 05:44 AM
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^^^^^^^^^
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Old 05-06-2015, 06:53 AM
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Yeap dreams can be horrible sometimes!!

Hang in there Jen!!
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:59 AM
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I wouldn't call it a selfish dream. I think things happen for a reason and it could have been your psyche and not your AV telling you to get your head back in the game.

How long do you have in now? I got sober the first time in October of 2012. I had 10.5 months in. I started slacking. Summer rolled around, my husband relapsed, and I picked up again in August 2013. I drank until 12/1/13. I know you have an alcoholic partner and a six year old and are trying to hold it together. I'm right with you. You are super and incredibly strong. Hugs!

You could be me. Last night I dreamed my chin erupted in unsightly whiteheads.
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Old 05-06-2015, 12:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Ruby2 View Post
I wouldn't call it a selfish dream. I think things happen for a reason and it could have been your psyche and not your AV telling you to get your head back in the game. How long do you have in now? I got sober the first time in October of 2012. I had 10.5 months in. I started slacking. Summer rolled around, my husband relapsed, and I picked up again in August 2013. I drank until 12/1/13. I know you have an alcoholic partner and a six year old and are trying to hold it together. I'm right with you. You are super and incredibly strong. Hugs! You could be me. Last night I dreamed my chin erupted in unsightly whiteheads.
Ugh! That's really stinks about the breakout! My god the body can be weird. I have a little over 7 months. Summer hasn't even begun yet and it's already more difficult than winter.

Jennifer
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Old 05-06-2015, 06:57 PM
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Summer was more difficult for me too and I let myself get too run down, stopped reaching out for the little support I allowed myself to have and wasn't taking care of myself. Things are different this time but I need to be vigilant. You are right at that point where I started to let things slide before my relapse. I was pretty miserable and just sort of sliding off. If I'd had a sponsor or other real support, they would have pointed out what to me is now so obvious. Setting myself up for relapse.

I only relate what was true for me. You're dealing with a lot of the same personal junk. Take care and I hope you have a more peaceful night's sleep.
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Old 05-06-2015, 07:10 PM
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Hey. Pssst. What happened to that daily prayer thread you had going? I liked that a lot.


ooh, edit to say, I see you posted in it today. Excellent. I had been checking it lately and it has been quiet.


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Old 05-06-2015, 07:22 PM
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I'm not looking forward to the warmer weather. I know that's going to make it hard.

The dreams freak me out but the rush of relief I get when I realize it's a dream makes it all worthwhile
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Old 05-07-2015, 04:28 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Hey. Pssst. What happened to that daily prayer thread you had going? I liked that a lot. ooh, edit to say, I see you posted in it today. Excellent. I had been checking it lately and it has been quiet.
U caught me. I became complacent. I have a meeting today. And tomorrow. And three next week. I'm getting back.

Jennifer
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Old 05-07-2015, 04:34 AM
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Your AV is in high gear? What is AV?
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Old 05-07-2015, 04:35 AM
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AV is addictive voice.

Jennifer
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Old 05-07-2015, 04:36 AM
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It's all those annoying thoughts in your head that try and trick you into drinking. I also call it "the committee".

Jennifer
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Old 05-07-2015, 05:02 AM
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Hey Jennifer, if the dream helped you notice something within yourself, and alerted you to needing to up your game, that's fine and good for you.

I hope you don't get too worried about the dream though, it's just a dream. I get them, after two years. I used to freak out. Now I wake up far less rattled. The way I see it, I have dreams that I can fly too, but I don't get out of bed and jump off a cliff becaus they are "true."

Breathe, up your game if you need too, but you are doing great!
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Old 05-07-2015, 05:53 AM
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Ah, yes. I know him very well. He's a trouble maker. I've been trying to get him off of my Board of Directors for years. I just didn't know his name.
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Old 05-07-2015, 09:25 AM
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Lol!

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Old 05-07-2015, 09:40 AM
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You don't have to pick up a white chip for drinking dreams.

I don't choose what I dream when I go to sleep.

I have been out of school for 32 years, and I still have dreams about walking into a classroom not knowing there was a test that day (there is ample precedent from my undergraduate years for that experience being buried somewhere in the recesses of my brain).

I have been sober a good while, and I still have drinking dreams.

But they are really relapse dreams and they always end with me feeling terrible about drinking (and messing up my sobriety).
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