Feeling guilty
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 47
Feeling guilty
I was here last fall, and unfortunately let myself slide back into bad old habits. Feeling guilty this morning, I drank last night, and then yelled at my child.
I apologize this morning, and I want to forgive myself, but I also don't. I feel like if I forgive myself, I'm just going to make it that much easier to do the same thing again.
I feel like I'm stuck in the cycle of drinking and then feeling ashamed and then drinking because I feel ashamed.
Day 1 all over again. 😓
I apologize this morning, and I want to forgive myself, but I also don't. I feel like if I forgive myself, I'm just going to make it that much easier to do the same thing again.
I feel like I'm stuck in the cycle of drinking and then feeling ashamed and then drinking because I feel ashamed.
Day 1 all over again. 😓
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome back!!
Time to break that cycle, it can be done, I went round in circles for a long time but at some point we need to draw a line under our old life, nothing we can do about that, we can't go back, but instead we can write the next chapter moving forward!!
You can do this!!
Time to break that cycle, it can be done, I went round in circles for a long time but at some point we need to draw a line under our old life, nothing we can do about that, we can't go back, but instead we can write the next chapter moving forward!!
You can do this!!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back strongandsober. Instead of feeling guilty, shamful, etc, why not take the initiative to make some real change in your life? It's the drinking that is the source of all the problems, so make plan to stop it. The rest of it will eventually take care of itself.
Think of it from your child's standpoint - would he/she rather hear you apologize for drinking or see you taking action to not drink?
Think of it from your child's standpoint - would he/she rather hear you apologize for drinking or see you taking action to not drink?
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by strongandsober 
I feel like I'm stuck in the cycle of drinking and then feeling ashamed and then drinking because I feel ashamed.
You can step off, anytime you are ready.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
What's your plan Strong?
I used to be very quick tempered with my kids when I was drinking as well. That was one of my motivations for quitting. I would yell at them about small and trivial things. My kids are my life, and it was extremely tough to forgive myself after a big argument about nothing. Finally I realized I couldn't forgive myself. It was my decision and choice to drink and if I were sober, I would have reacted to those situations very differently. My drinking, my fault, not theirs, over and over and over...
I haven't had one of those trivial yelling matches with my kids in 302 days.
It was time for me to change... Maybe it's time for you to beat this for good. You can do it!
I used to be very quick tempered with my kids when I was drinking as well. That was one of my motivations for quitting. I would yell at them about small and trivial things. My kids are my life, and it was extremely tough to forgive myself after a big argument about nothing. Finally I realized I couldn't forgive myself. It was my decision and choice to drink and if I were sober, I would have reacted to those situations very differently. My drinking, my fault, not theirs, over and over and over...
I haven't had one of those trivial yelling matches with my kids in 302 days.
It was time for me to change... Maybe it's time for you to beat this for good. You can do it!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 585
Scott and Carl listed great points. I beat my head against the wall for years wondering why I lived in guilt, felt shame and was physically sick and the answer was right there in my hand...alcohol. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and remove the booze from your life. You wont believe your new outlook on life.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by strongandsober
I want to forgive myself, but I also don't.
Let us work on forgiving ourselves down the road a little when we truly see where we have made positive changes in our lives.
For remember, a healthy conscious is a gift.
Mountainman
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
That is a slippery slope Mountainman. Feeling guilty and not forgiving one's self can very readily turn into using again. I get that you don't want to simply shrug off and say Oh well...but I think it is detrimental to live in pain and self recrimination. Use this as a lesson-learned and try to make positive changes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 47
I understand not letting myself off the hook, I don't intend to. But I worry that beating myself up over and over today will only make me want to drink tonight to "relax" and get away from the stress and guilt. I can't even remember everything I said, but I've been replaying bits and pieces in my mind all morning and it makes me sick to my stomach.
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