Mysusnshine1

Becoming sober has brought up many different emotions.
For all to long my drinking protected me from my past. Never fully out running it but being able to be numb enough to not having to feel its pains as deeply. I do not have a choice drinking is no longer an option for me, my family means so much more to me than that bottle. I'm just having a hard time cooping with the root of my drinking. I do plan on seeing a therapist but even that involves reliving it. I just wanted to know how others have dealt with this.

Dee74

You deal with it one day at a time.

I was so terrified of facing all my stuff sober too - but it turned out that the fear of facing it was much more than actually facing it.

Don't get me wrong - it wasn't easy, but then neither was my drinking life.

I'm glad you're seeing a counsellor - that will help

D

amandamarie

I drank to numb the pain for a long time. Every time I would try to quit horrible memories and emotions would come up ,and I would drink again. But the past 15 days without drinking I have had to face them, and I have come to realize that it is the only way to ever get over the hurt, and pain. I too am going to see a therapist, because a lot of my problems I do not know how to handle. Forgetting is not an option though. What happened in our pasts is something we will have to live with. So my way of thinking is that even though it is difficult I might as well face them head on and deal with the emotions, because if not they will just linger, and cripple me forever. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me. I wish you the best.

Mysusnshine1

Thanks Dee and Amandamarie, Failing isn't an option anymore and my husband so above and beyond supportive of me. I've hurt him so much in my past with my drinking and leaving him (drunkenly past out) with our toddler daughter for nights if not weeks on end. I can't hurt him any more with the demons of our past.
I'm trying to focus on my daughters laughter and my husbands overall comfort around me sober, to get me through. It's just a hard day emotionally for me.
Thanks for the support!

Soberwolf

I really agree with the above posts rooting for you Sunshine

Anna

I was so afraid of facing a lifetime of issues that I continued drinking when I knew I had to stop. You really need to take the leap of faith and believe that you will be able to get through this. I tried to not get overwhelmed and to focus on one or two specific things at a time. Journaling helped me a lot and walking also helped me sort out things in my head. Seeing a therapist is a great idea. Don't let this fear keep you from sobriety.

saoutchik

All the best mysunshine. It must be really hard but it sounds like you are doing the right thing, for yourself, as well as your family

amandamarie

Anna brought up a good way to get out some emotions. Maybe starting a journal, or using the blog section of this site would help you to get out some of your feelings. Also, seeing all of your thoughts written down may help you to organize a plan on how to get to the root of them.

mtone

I know the feeling. I breathe, say a little prayer, call an AA to develop or run a plan by....then

I open the letter, pick up the phone or face and walk thru the scary situation....not easy but getting better.

HeartsAfire

Therapy (specifically EMDR for post-traumatic/blocked abuse memories), journaling & working the 12 Steps helped me. I'm not an AA proponent necessarily, but I truly believe everyone should/needs to work them at some point in their lives. I didn't work them as an alcoholic, rather, as a co-dependent. They're hard & hurtful as hell but necessary for me to move thru the pain of my past. Working them is one of my most proud accomplishments in life.

The one universal thing you MUST do without question is keep talking & reaching out for help/feedback. It's a HUGE first step & I commend you for it.

PurpleKnight

For me it was small steps, learning who I was, learning to deal with emotions, this all took time.

For soo long feelings/emotions where the enemy, I drank it all away and numbed it.

But it is ok to feel, that was what I had to learn again.

Hang in there!!