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Strange Encounter; I wonder what you think?

Old 05-04-2015, 12:22 AM
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Strange Encounter; I wonder what you think?

I'm sure if this was the right forum, but I think newcomers would have a good take on the situation.

I was at a brunch on the weekend, and they were serving sparkling wine (slightly off topic, but SW is my main weakness but I avoided drinking it without a struggle or even giving it thought). A lady I've met a few times but don't know well came up and started talking to me about her drinking habits, completely out of the blue. She told me she often gets through a bottle of wine in the evening, and then doesn't have dinner with the family. If she eats dinner, she won't drink.

I was surprised she was talking to me so frankly, although she had had a couple of glasses, and I wasn't sure if she even saw it as a problem. I wondered whether it was a random conversation, or if she knew about my period of sobriety, which she could easily have done.

I didn't give her any advice, just said that I'd been like that a few years ago and had to stop drinking completely. If it wasn't random, I hope I gave her something to think about.
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Old 05-04-2015, 01:36 AM
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Who's to say FG - but your simple kindness in listening and sharing that you understand may just help her make healthy decisions about her drinking

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Old 05-04-2015, 01:39 AM
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Listening to her and not passing any judgment sounds good to me and that's what you did!
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Old 05-04-2015, 05:05 AM
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I've often thought something similar, and that is I wonder how many people have a real problem with alcohol, yet don't realize it. It completely escapes them that they are not drinking "normally". I know a fair of guys who drink quite a bit, every single night. I couldn't not do it.
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Old 05-04-2015, 05:42 AM
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it's interesting what sobriety attracts.....
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Old 05-04-2015, 06:16 AM
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I think that everything happens for a reason.

It could be that the lady was working through her issues with alcohol by talking to you.
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Old 05-04-2015, 07:55 AM
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It was great you were there as someone to listen!!
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Old 05-04-2015, 08:17 AM
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Sometimes people say things to those they don't know well as they feel safer doing so, in my opinion. I agree, it's great you were there to listen. Glad you got through that and not even tempted!

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Old 05-04-2015, 08:22 AM
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I agree with Anna. Everything happens for a reason. You were honest and straightforward and non judgmental. Related your experience and that was it. I think when people are starting to question their own drinking they test the waters, so to speak.
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Old 05-04-2015, 08:47 AM
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You handled it well.

Maybe she felt comfortable talking to you since you weren't drinking, sensed something about you.

I know when I realized I needed to quit, I started tiptoeing around talking about my drinking habits with people, usually friends. On one hand, I was most likely justifying, on the other hand, I was admitting "Hey I have an issue and I need to get it out there"
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Old 05-04-2015, 11:15 AM
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When I got sober people began to be very open with me about things. People I didn't really know very well. They knew my story because I live in a small town and I always thought maybe they felt that since I'd had some personal and legal trouble that they wouldn't be judged.

But I also thought that maybe people had always talked that way and that I had just never actually listened to anybody or cared what they were saying in my drinking days. I honestly still don't know which it was.
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