bluhend

I hoped that by 100 days in I would start to feel like sober life is so much better and it is in certain ways but the "never can drink again" thought is crushing to me still, it just feels like life was more fun when I was drinking, I am still struggling with this in a big way and the only thought that gives me some relief is something like "don't worry, we'll go back to drinking eventually, this sucks too much" ... I am looking for a therapist to help, I don't like AA meetings, in my area they aren't very helpful to me at all, just kind of boring, I can't relate to the people there etc...

TroyW

Were you a pretty heavy drinker? If so, have you been to a doctor for tests on your liver, kidneys, etc.? Depending on how much you drank, the doctor's opinion of your body may change your mind on how much a sober life sucks.

Calicofish

Hi Bluhend - sorry to read about your struggles.

What are you doing differently to relieve boredom, other than meetings? Have you thought about trying something new? Something that gets your mind out of yourself?

If you are like to create (even if you're not good at it) you can find kits at craft stores. Maybe build a model ship? or car? Put together a puzzle that turns into something you might want to frame. Learn to play an instrument. Find something to occupy your mind and hands.

CF

Ghostlight1

I understand. I was a drunk for thirty years and I thought if I ever did quit things would suddenly be all roses and puppy dogs. They weren't. But, that didn't make me go back to drinking.
All I have to do is not drink today and I'll not have to worry about the terrors I suffered the following days from drinking. The anxiety, fear and remorse.
All the people around me knew I was a drunk. My work suffered. I suffered.

But now that I've got a long stretch of sobriety, anything is better than going back to the bottle.
Boredom? I can take it. I'm bored today. It won't drive me to drink, though. Neither will being upset, not getting the things I want out of life and the ardors of every day life.
I was a pathetic drunk. I couldn't imagine a life without drink either.
Then I got to the point where I could neither stop drinking or get sober. It was a nightmare.
What I found is that I could not drink for one day. Just a day. I could do that.
Sobriety, to me, is a gift in and of itself. Alcohol never fixed anything in my life.
Now I can do whatever I want any time I want to. What a joy. I love to ride my bike as an example. I actually got hit by a car while drunk. It was my fault.
Now all those fears are gone and I don't know what tomorrow may bring.
But, I will be there for it. To face it. Sober.

I wish the same for you. It takes a life change not to drink. And the only thing that changes is everything. It takes some getting used to.
Hang in there, it does get better.

saoutchik

Hi Bluhend. Try not to think about the "forever" stuff and just take it a day at a time.

You and me have been sober for about the same amount of time, I occasionally check my ears posts to remind me why I quit

PurpleKnight

This has been an ongoing theme in your threads, the missing out on drinking, life seems a bit boring without alcohol etc

What are you doing other than not drinking? for me not drinking meant a whole lot of time on my hands doing nothing, instead I needed to get out there, create a life for myself, new hobbies, new projects, meet new people, enjoy myself.

Alcohol is not the centre of the social universe, it doesn't have a monopoly on fun in the world, people who don't drink enjoy themselves and have very fulfilling lives.

Absteinance is only half of the sotry, we now need to create a new lifestyle!!

Dee74

Hi bluhend

I'm sorry you're struggling a little, but it is pretty common around 90-100...it's long enough to forget the bad bits and not yet long enough to see the benefits of sobriety.

Apart from not drinking, have you made any other changes in your life?

If you're still looking back wistfully at drinking, maybe you need to make your current like a little more fun, and reflective of the sober you?

D

Cauliflower

I agree with everything suggested! Only you can make yourself happy. You can still do everything you did before, just without alcohol! Im pretty sure drinking did not make you happy!

CeeFarro

Lots of people have fun while drinking. I am not one of them. I'm not interested in catching a buzz..it is about drinking until oblivion with me. There must be a reason you ended up quitting in the first place..Alcoholism is tricky, don't lose sight of what got you here.

endlesspatience

I hear what you're saying about AA. But with AA step one, members are encouraged to write down a list of how much they were drinking and the negative consequences this caused. It's a reminder of the problem and you can go back and read it later, which can be an encouragement to stay sober.

Like you I sometimes find AA meeting boring. On the other hand, I've made some nice friends and we do fun stuff together outside the meetings, so life has changed for the better in that way.

happyandfree

I felt the same at about 100 days. Pretty bored and unenthusiastic about sobriety ...that's when you need to take some action and find things to enjoy in life, to fill the time you spent drinking with fun, productive activities. It takes some work and is part of pushing through in sobriety. Don't listen to that AV who is telling you life was more fun when you drank. Couldn't be farther from the truth.

bluhend

I hear you ... probably averaged about 50+ drinks per week, so I guess that's heavy

bluhend

probably am not doing enough new things, not feeling much interest in anything is the problem

bluhend

what are ears posts?

bluhend

I hear you, that's the hard part for me, creating the new life, I think drinking was the only way of feeling good I had, no I don't have it, and feel kind of clueless about where to begin and lack the motivation to try

bluhend

it feels true tho ... honestly can't think of anything fun to do, pretty sad huh?