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This Fish Wiggles off the Hook

Old 05-03-2015, 05:16 AM
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This Fish Wiggles off the Hook

Today will be 69 days since this little fish wiggled off the hook of alcohol.

I've made some major changes in my life - I left a miserable marriage of 28 years. I literally packed up my own personal possessions, rented a u-haul and moved over 3,000 kms. I started a new life in a town where no one knows me. I rented a place in a lovely community. I joined the theatre guild, auditioned for a part in the play and got a role. I got a job. I threw myself into this new community.

Has it been easy? No. I'm lonely because I do not know anyone, and it's difficult to make new friends. I'm trying and many evenings I am alone in my little place and it would be so easy to go and buy some booze to help with the loneliness. What do I do? Well, I know that if I do that, it will be a temporary "remedy" and the next day I will wake up feeling like crap and the cycle will start again. I make sure I make my bed every morning and make sure the kitchen is clean before I go to bed. Two little things - but those are important.

I am also getting back into my music and practicing my guitar. Youtube is full of lessons and there's no excuse not to learn a new tune and finger picking styles.

During this journey, I had to say goodbye to my old dog - I did it, without turning to a bottle. It was hard. I sobbed and I miss her so much.

I made a list of all the things that drinking does to me:
High blood pressure
Bloated
Weight gain
Red, blotchy skin
Memory loss
Saying stupid things
Anxiety
Heart palpitations
Wicked hangovers

None of those things are good things.

Any time the urge to drink comes on I remember those things, plus what it will be like the next morning - feeling like death and having no motivation. The depression.

Things are starting to look more positive and life is getting better. Last night I walked down to the beach and watched the most glorious sunset.

To those who are struggling - my best advice is to get into new habits that do not involve drinking. Join something that takes you out of yourself. Learn to play a musical instrument, for example. Go buy some art supplies and splash paint around - who cares if you're good, just do it.

Don't wallow in self pity and whine about how life has handed you a raw deal. You have the power inside you. Make your little changes and build upon your strength.

Is it scary? You bet. But being sober unlocks opportunities. They may seem small and insignificant at first, but build upon them. You only have one life - make it count. I am.

Peace!
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:20 AM
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Great post. So sorry about your pup it is always heartbreaking.
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Calicofish View Post

I made a list of all the things that drinking does to me:
High blood pressure
Bloated
Weight gain
Red, blotchy skin
Memory loss
Saying stupid things
Anxiety
Heart palpitations
Wicked hangovers
Thanks for reminding me, for I also have most of those (especially when I drink.) Too easy to forget, or deceive myself yet again. MM
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:28 AM
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Mountain Bob - I put that list on my phone so it's very handy. I've referred to it several times. Funny thing - every time I've referred to it, it never says...hey, drinking would be a great idea.

Peace!
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:31 AM
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Calico - hi. I wonder if you have any idea how much the sense of pure courage and humility runs through your post? Do read it again...it much moved me.

I hope to hear more from you about the ups and downs of your journey (or maybe more realistically - the soaring and real plummeting in these early days of so much change. Much love to you on your continuing journey...
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:37 AM
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Congrats on 69 days sober!
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:42 AM
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Hi.

In my experience, being anti social, I got very active in AA for a long time and became close to many members who have the same characteristics and understand each other. These people I’ll always cherish as good friends, at times closer than family.

Unfortunately most have moved away and or taken to the resting place we all have coming. Today I live the best I can with each year seeming incapable of doing what I didn’t even think of as a problem doing last year. Today I putter around the yard instead of working around the yard as my fishing time has been drastically reduced from around every day to only memories I don’t regret, among other things.
Part of the benefits of sobriety for me.

BE WELL
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:49 AM
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Congrats on 69 (cheeky) days. Amazing you've done so much already to improve your life. It just keeps getting better.
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:52 AM
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What an inspirational post. Thank you for being here & sharing with us. I needed this today.
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:57 AM
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You may wish to consider AA if for no other reason the social aspect. I know at the end of my drinking career I had zero friends. Now I have more than I can count
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:01 AM
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Clarification

Well thank you for all those wonderful posts, however, I must clarify least you guys think I have some kind of super powers ;-)

I left my marriage last year and spent a really bad year circling the drain. I moved 3 times in the last year (the big move) and then 2 little ones, to finally rest where I am now.

Peace.
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Calicofish View Post

Mountain Bob - I put that list on my phone so it's very handy.
That's a great idea. I have found that keeping my past fresh on my mind each and every day, reminds me of what I never wish to forget. Also, these phones these days are so cool. Throughout the day as we travel about, we can come to this site many times. I consider this to be a, Super (Keeping Sober) Tool.

When I forgot my past was when I repeated it yet again.

Mountainmanbob
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:07 AM
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Thank you for sharing that Calicofish... super powers or not, I found this to be very inspirational.
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:08 AM
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Well said, Calicofish!
You are an inspiration.
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:34 AM
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Calico, I'm sorry about your dog. You've certainly had some major changes in your life. I loved your post, it might not be superpowers, but what you've done is pretty great.
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:46 AM
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Exellent post congratulations
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:54 AM
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That's an amazing story Calico. You have a lot of courage. Sorry about your dog.
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:02 AM
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What a powerful inspiring post. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry about the loss of your pet.

I think we need to keep reminding ourselves that life is what we make of it. We try to learn and move onwards from the past, we live now in the present and the future, well that's always going to be on its way.

I am working through my past so I can move forward, enjoy living in the present and look forward to what lies ahead in the future.

It's bloody hard right now though. But I'm working on it.
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Old 05-03-2015, 11:00 AM
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69 Days is fantastic!!
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Old 05-03-2015, 11:10 AM
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Well done. That was a great post. I do understand about the lonliness. Its not easy but your list helps. You are trying so hard and you deserve to be happy. Thanks for the little jobs tips, I need to do that too. Take care. Have a nice evening (or day).
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